...

[raven]

I am panicking. It is irrational. It is too late to Do Something about it all. I understand this. I am still panicking. There are people drifting about the place looking like serene black-and-white flowers in their elegantly ruffled post-exam sub fusc. I am still panicking. Listening to the Indelicates' ...If Jeff Buckley Had Lived on repeat. This not good and possibly unconscious manifestation of something. Have no desire to be suicidal rock star. This probably indicates I have grown as a person sice I was sixteen. Have desire to be someone who doesn't have Finals. Realise will get my wish if I live long enough, but this is NOT THE POINT.

Panic panic. Please to be talking me down from tree. Panicpanic. Am tired of being calm. Have been very calm, one feels. Almost zen. Have been serene. Have talked other people down from trees.

(Okay, am going to turn computer off and do past question. This will be calming? Maybe?)

(It is a lovely tree. It is beautiful and has cherry blossoms and is exactly the sort of tree I want to be in my next life and for all it is metaphorical I want to stay in it forever.)

(YES MORE PARENTHESIS WHAT OF IT. Tomorrow. Going to meet English finalists with absinthe_shadow. All should accompany. All shall love me and despair.)

eta: past question indeed weirdly calming! Although, dear self: you are twenty-one years and six months old, it is time to outgrow your ADOLESCENT LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE SEMI-COLON.

Comments

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

While I would suggest that revision time is a SACRED GIFT FROM GOD *down to her last few hours of it; cries*, I do sympathise entirely. Once the machinery starts it's rather - well, it's the difference between stage-fright and theatre. It's why I prefer exams to coursework; once you get out there, you get this wonderful mental blindness where everything's as it is and there are no choices. It's marvellous.

Iona, please shoot me as a horrific luvvie.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

No I refuse. You are not a luvvie. You are being very reassuring. Thank you. <3

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

I am glad! You're a darling & I shall see you tomorrow - are you coming to/from exams and will you have a camera?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I am coming just to meet you, my dear - I have no exams till Wed - but alas, no camera! Mine has given up the ghost entirely.

[mi-guida.livejournal.com]

revision time is a SACRED GIFT FROM GOD Yes. Yes, it is - more so are TUTORS OF JOY who rely quickly to my metaphorically tear-stained emails and tell me it will be ok and offer to meet me to fix things.

Stage fright is exactly the right words - I always, always doubt I know my lines, any of them, and as soon as I get on stage, I have to do it, and so I can, and it happens, and maybe it's not perfect, but it happens and works.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

The raocoon of Laocoon comes inexorably to mind here. :P

G'luck, love, although I'm sure you don't need it. <3

[mi-guida.livejournal.com]

The raocoon of Laocoon comes inexorably to mind here. :P

He is the equivalent of me arguing in my Contract collection that emails were like letters and texts were like semaphore replacing speech, just so I could force there to be a contract.... oh dear!

Thank you for luck - luck and *Hugs* for you too. When do you get out the other end of it all? (I don't for ever and ages... :( )

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Wednesday, 28th May. Very soon - but that's because I have eight exams in seven days! :P

[mi-guida.livejournal.com]

Eeple. I'll have just finished my third exam - the first 8 happen in 9 days, then I have 2 days off, and the last one Friday of 7th Week.

I shall see you briefly then scurry off to do more revision for the next one :)