raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
This story was intended as a writing exercise. I have been revising a novel manuscript since February (and revising a previous version since the previous August). I am quite fed up. The object of this was to write something in about an hour and a half and revise it as little as possible. It was about Garak and Julian because I was in the Lakes with twelve of my friends who were reading three separate books they described as "the Garak book of Garak". You can read this story at the AO3 if you prefer.

fic:: everything as it was and everything as changed
by Raven
1200w, Deep Space Nine, Bashir/Garak. The fight started with why must you wear a chintz dressing gown covered in blue elephants and ended somewhere else.

there comes a point where nothing will serve )
raven: subway sign in black and white, text: "Times Square / 42 Street station" (stock - times square)
Back from Nine Worlds. Mostly deaded.

Happy birthday, [personal profile] silly_cleo! Something short and sweet for you.

Fic:: Mississippi
by Raven
1000w, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Kira and Sisko. "She'll have the jambalaya."

it's hot as hell here )
raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
Thank you everyone who helped and cheerled with this. I'm also pleased to have finished this exactly a month after Vidukon, where I seem to remember publicly promising to make it.

[vid] Disappear [Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine]
by Raven
With a word, with a line, you only disappear. Identity and violence.

music: "You Only Disappear", Tom McRae, from Just Like Blood
content notes: Star Trek-typical violence; one bright flash of red light
password to stream: wakeup / download from mediafire, 80MB

stream, lyrics )
raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
With an enormous amount of assistance from [personal profile] silly_cleo and others, I give you the Star Trek daemon AU.

Fic:: Things
by Raven
10,000w, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, TNG, Voyager, Kira/Odo, Miles/Keiko, and ensemble. "Needs must in a time of war, sir" - or, Starfleet and its daemons.

Kira knows everything's going to hell when... )
raven: TOS McCoy and Kirk frowning, text: "Well that's just maddeningly unhelpful" (st - MADDENINGLY UNHELPFUL)
I am at [community profile] vidukon_cardiff, which seems like an excellent opportunity to post this vid! It is not a premiere; I finished it between panels!

Many thanks to [personal profile] cosmic_llin, [personal profile] thingswithwings, and the house at no. 46 for their help with this.

[vid] we came to learn the sea [Star Trek: TOS, TNG, Voyager, DS9, and Enterprise]
by Raven
"You are my compass."
-Kathryn Janeway to Tuvok, "Prime Factors"

music: "We Learned The Sea", Dar Williams, from The Green World
content notes: none standard; one bright flash of red light near the start
password to stream: compass / download from mediafire, 65MB

notes, stream, lyrics )
raven: black and wite Kaylee, against the background of her parasol in colour (firefly - kaylee's parasol)
For [personal profile] such_heights' birthday! Mistakes definitely all my own - once again I am writing this on a keyboard with no "I" key. For all my lovely friends who are watching DS9 for the first time, there are no spoilers in this story.

Ficlet:: Signal Fire
by Raven
2000w, Deep Space Nine, Kira/Dax. Kira's ready for anything. Except this.

The Prophets don't always give us what we want. )
raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
If you follow me elsewhere, you may know I am writing a story about Janeway and Seven, and, ah, trying to avoid it. To that effect, yesterday I asked if anyone wanted a Star Trek ficlet, and ah, people did. I ended up writing many stories. My favourite is the one with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy meeting baby Tuvok, but, really, I had fun writing all of these:

Dress (1159 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Characters: Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Keiko O'Brien, Benjamin Sisko, Miles O'Brien

"How do you know I'm not married?" Julian asks, playfully, then realises he's answered his own question.

Velocity (528 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine
Characters: Kathryn Janeway, Seven of Nine

Preparation for command.

War Songs (1257 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Benjamin Sisko, Miles O'Brien, Kira Nerys, Shakaar Edon, Keiko O'Brien, Odo (Star Trek), Jadzia Dax, Jake Sisko, Julian Bashir
Additional Tags: Families of Choice

The first requirement, when one is celebrating the Bajoran Festival of Alignment, is good food.

Learn The Sea (935 words) by Raven
Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Voyager
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock, Leonard McCoy, T'Meni, Tuvok

“Well, now, little one,” McCoy says. “What’s your name?”

Scientific Interest (608 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Kira Nerys, Jadzia Dax

Mandatory Starfleet continuing professional development.

Orbiting (927 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: B'Elanna Torres, Seven of Nine
Additional Tags: Post-Canon

Standing there with her eyes steady and clear, Seven looks as impeccable as B’Elanna remembers.

Numbers (691 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Characters: Elim Garak, Julian Bashir, Jadzia Dax, Benjamin Sisko, Data
Additional Tags: Deep Dish Nine

Garak comes to visit before lunch, and as a consequence Julian burns a tray of garlic bread and about two thirds of a ham and pineapple deep pan pizza. (This one is in the collective shared AU where Deep Space Nine is a pizzeria and the gang are all human. It's, ah, a long story.)

Evidence of Things Not Seen (1542 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Geordi La Forge, Data, Julian Bashir, Odo (Star Trek), Miles O'Brien
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Kinda

"We're really looking at Data as he would be if he were human," Geordi says, wonderingly.

...and that's it, and quite enough too. I am going to Inverness tomorrow for the weekend. Also, a long story.
raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
I wrote two little Star Trek stories yesterday; here they are for completion:

Fixing (584 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Beverly Crusher, Keiko O'Brien
Additional Tags: ladies, Botany, Ladies who love botany
Summary: Miles wanted his son to be an officer.

there lies the port (890 words) by Raven
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Kathryn Janeway, Jean-Luc Picard
Summary: "I have acquired a fine blend of arabica for the occasion." Janeway visits Picard.

If you would like a Star Trek ficlet, do ask. I have spent my week off so far watching Voyager and TNG and not doing a lot else.


Nov. 3rd, 2013 05:34 pm
raven: image of India on a globe (politics - india)
Happy Diwali, all. Thank you, everyone who came to the party last night - it was a lovely time - and everyone else, I hope your days and nights are full of light.

Diwali - image of windowsill and table with a red candelabra full of candles, and an orange lamp

This is our living room, from last night. Everything there is a gift - the candelabra and candles are from the wedding, the bookends were a gift from my colleagues, the little stone candle-holders are Diwali gifts from previous years - which seems oddly fitting. In lieu of other gifts for y'all, I offer four short stories, on the usual theme:

building normal
Deep Space Nine, Sisko, Kira, Dax et al.

increased efficiency on Deep Space Nine )

Welcome to Night Vale, Cecil/Carlos.

on one of the dark days )

comparative religion
Parks and Recreation, Tom, April, Leslie, gen.

an overwhelming smell of kerosene in the Parks Department )

love in a hopeless place
Gentleman Bastards, Locke and Jean, gen(ish). No spoilers for The Republic of Thieves!

Locke can't walk )
raven: black and white street sign: "Hobbs Lane" (quatermass - hobbs end)
Life, currently utterly unmitigated awful; then something happened this evening that tipped it over from "awful, awful, godawful" to "awful; also a sitcom about it would be a viable prospect".

So, that's something.

Yesterday some of you gave me some fic prompts and I wrote a few of them:

-The Middleman, accidental-baby-acquisition;

-Deep Space Nine, Garak and Bashir, truth or dare;

-Call The Midwife, also truth or dare;

-Cabin Pressure, pretending to be married.

edited to add: another Cabin Pressure, forced to share a bed.

Anyone else for anything else? Give me a fandom and prompt if you would like a snippet; I don't promise to write every single one, but I will try.
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
Otherwise known as STARFLEET NEEDS LAWYERS. I have taken a looooot of poetic licence for this fic. I wish to emphasise at this point that the Federation's legal system is entirely made up to suit my purposes, so there. [livejournal.com profile] gamesiplay betaed, as usual; thank you!

Fic:: Malice Aforethought
by Raven
2200w, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, gen, Kira, Sisko, ensemble. "Gentlebeings of the jury, do you have a verdict?" Kira on trial.

Warning: violence.

...perpetrator appears to be Major Kira... )


Feb. 11th, 2011 01:57 pm
raven: Jadzia Dax taking a clip out of her hair (ds9 - dax)
Various fannish things:

-one of the requests that washed up in this year's New Year's Resolutions is a Diana Wynne Jones request for Deep Secret which is pretty much exactly the story my brain wants to write. So, er, yay, one person will read it? Also, I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing with it, but then I was hanging out with fangirls and [personal profile] thingswithwings and [personal profile] eruthros were making me giggle with their [community profile] kink_bingo modding travails, and then we got to talking about kinks more generally and I was complaining about how I am too ridiculously self-conscious to write kink usually and then suddenly the juxtaposition of that conversation with that half-written story and ah. Yes. That's why it wasn't working. Okay.

(I went from giggling to all-out hysteria when we started talking about Community. Okay, so I got shown this vid from [community profile] festivids the other day, and I was coming to the whole thing cold and said, "So, right, this is a show about two guys who are actually aliens come to Earth from another planet and they're observing humanity and having wacky homoerotic hijinks a la 3rd Rock From the Sun?"

APPARENTLY IT'S NOT, YOU GUYS. Apparently it's about students at a community college.

Anyway. It is in my netflix queue. I look forward to it.)

-Another thing from the same fangirl party! So, a few years ago [livejournal.com profile] gamesiplay and I got drunk and watched Star Trek. (I know, I know, that is so something I never do.) Anyway, we watched "The Naked Time", which as well as having Spock crying and half-naked Sulu waving a sword around, I mean, as if that was not enough, also has the best line of dialogue in the entire franchise and indeed, in anything ever, which is this:

"Attention, crew. This is Captain Riley. At 1900 hours there will be a formal dance in the bowling alley."

Leigh and I looked at each other in total delight and said, "The Enterprise has a BOWLING ALLEY?"

So I only half-in-jest told [personal profile] thingswithwings that I need to run a fic challenge where every fic has to be set in the Enterprise bowling alley. It can be plotty genfic, kinky Kirk/Spock involving skittles, Sisko taking Jake on a field trip, Picard being talked into it by his senior staff, Uhura pwning everyone with her fabulous bowling ability, anything, as long as it is in the bowling alley.

But, T'wings notes, the reason I am so delighted by this is the simple fact: I like worldbuilding. I love Star Trek, but show me the non-Starfleet Federation, too! I want to know about Federation politics, its sports, what happened to Scotty when he was an undergrad, what the characters do when they're not saving the world. (And why, why, given that Deep Space Nine is a Cardassian space station in Bajoran space under part-Federation control with joint leadership, at the front line of the clean-up effort after a fifty-year oppressive military occupation and the gateway to a stable wormhole to a completely different part of the galaxy - WHY ARE THERE NO LAWYERS. Where are the LAWYERS. Why is the whole show not just "Star Trek: Law & Order".)

So, yes: if I did run a small drabble tag or post a few prompts, would there be any interest in this? Would people other than me think it would be fun to see fic about Starfleet off-duty, and the rest of the world, you know, Federation politics and sport and law and novels and holo-entertainment and restaurants and all that stuff?

-...and finally, in matters fannish. A meme, nabbed from [personal profile] musesfool

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any story I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

[Fic, here.]

Werk time.
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
This is cheating a little, as I've had this little scene in my head for ages, but when [livejournal.com profile] abyssinia4077 asked for something with Kira, it reminded me.

Ficlet: Birthday Girl
by Raven
G, Deep Space Nine, gen, 1200 words, Kira, Dax. It's too late for presents.

on a day in early spring )
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
A snapshot for [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong, who wanted something with Garak and Mila.

(Garak and Mila. Seriously. There's Garak, who is a spy, interrogator, assassin, and occasionally described as "a heartless, cold-blooded killer", and all of his secrets - and Mila, who is his father's housekeeper, and who raised him. ("I wasn't much of a cook, but I knew how to keep a secret.") Laura and I were both charmed by the fact that one of Garak's many, jealously-guarded, life-as-a-spy secrets is that he has a mum who loves him dearly.)

Ficlet:: Cleaning
by Raven
PG, Deep Space Nine, gen, 700 words. The three-person resistance is still in the basement.

you missed a bit )
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
I've been meaning to make this post for a while! Deep Space Nine, lovelies. People who really don't understand the silly Star Trek thing, look away now. (Except you don't get to make fun of me for it, I love science fiction and I love Star Trek and I am so done being ashamed of that.)

Deep Space Nine is the third Star Trek series. It's the only one to be set in one place, it's the only one to have a large cast of recurring characters, it's the first one not to feature a ship called Enterprise. As for what it's about: oh, god, I have no idea. It's about a space station called Deep Space Nine. It's sort of about war, and a little bit about religion, and a lot about family, and mostly about people.

I watched the pilot, "Emissary", in June 2009, and I just finished "What You Leave Behind", the final episode of the seventh season, and I have been watching this show for ten eleven months and I feel like I should say something about it that isn't just flail. I've been enormously lucky in that not one but two of my best friends were watching it for the first time at the same time as me - [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong and [livejournal.com profile] hathy_col, thank you for a) putting up with me and b) lending me so many DVDs - and I've had a chance to properly squee. Squeee!

But first of all here are some things I don't like about it )

But what do I like about it, that is the question. Oh, so much. I love the tissue of the whole world it creates. The show begins in literal darkness. The space station is still called Terok Nor, a grim tentacular horror of a space station that is being busily trashed by the withdrawing occupying forces. The Cardassians kick stuff about, they leave. In come the Bajorans, who are throwing off the yoke of the oppressor not with a happy shout but with a sort of resigned efficiency, and the Federation, who are merely helping out. They aren't doing it all that well: Sisko's grieving for his wife and doesn't really give a shit about the assignment, Dax hasn't even been a new person all that long, O'Brien can't make the Federation and Cardassian computers work together. Bashir's all enthused that he gets to be a noble doctor working here in this third-world savage backwater, and Kira, as one of the noble savages herself, is getting ready to kick his head in.

Then, right next to the space station in the back of beyond, a stable wormhole is discovered to the Gamma Quadrant. And suddenly these people are at the centre of the world, and suddenly they have to be the best people they can be. And... oh, I love it, I do. Other Trek shows are pretty rubbish at people, interpersonal relationships, love stories, the rest of it – they're plot driven, spatial-anomaly driven, moral-dilemma driven. And Deep Space Nine is about… it's about Sisko and Jake, working out that father-and-son thing here in this very strange environment. It's about how they build ships together, go on trips together, about how Jake sets his father up on dates and Sisko yells at Jake for not doing his homework. It's about how Kira, who has been a terrorist her entire life, has been fighting the Cardassians her entire life, and has to learn now how to have friends, how to have fun, how not to fight, how to live.

(And let's pause for a moment on that: Kira, a woman with strong religious faith, who describes herself as a terrorist, who never regrets her actions, is nevertheless depicted as consistently principled and awesome.)

And then there's Julian Bashir, who incidentally is both non-white and British, who develops from annoying wunderkind to much more rounded character, and he and Miles O'Brien go on to get drunk together, play darts together, fight at the Alamo together and periodically declare their love for each other, together. And Nog, the Ferengi kid whom Jake teaches to read in the first season, who by the seventh season is a lieutenant in Starfleet, and so well-written and effective has his character development been, you absolutely believe it.

And then there's Odo, Quark and Garak, the three alien characters who are not backdrops to the humans – whose concerns and motivations are both entirely real and entirely at odds, on occasion, with those of the Federation.

And there's the whole world this takes place in: the politics of Bajor and Cardassia, the war against the Dominion, the smaller details like the Bajoran shrine on the station, the baseball in Sisko's office, the fomenting unionists in Quark's bar. The darker cast it puts on the Federation: Section 31, and the infamous root beer analogy. The brilliant, and brilliantly random recurring themes of yammok sauce (this is apparently a Cardassian condiment – why it gets so much discussion is never explained) and self-sealing stembolts (which are never explained at all). It's all so well-realised and internally consistent that these things make sense, and they're deployed with such a light and confident touch that you don't even have these sudden, self-conscious this-is-science-fiction moments, but only, these are people in a brave new world, but they're people.

Obviously I want to finish this by posting a clip from the show. I was going to post Miles and Julian getting drunk and singing Jerusalem, and then I was going to post Kira and Dax wearing the most amazing hats ever seen on television, and then I was going to post Garak, being Garak.

But now I'm going to post this: for the simple reason that it's during this little clip that my mild liking for this show made the leap into full-on love. All you need to know is that Kira has, for various reasons, just lost her job as first officer and liaison between the Federation and the Bajorans, and is preparing to leave the station.

how can you talk about skin lotion at a time like this )
raven: Jadzia Dax taking a clip out of her hair (ds9 - dax)
Today's grand revelation: it's amazing how much more enthused I am about washing-up and cleaning when I'm having a party. Sigh.

Anyway! My [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest story, for this prompt: 2942. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Ezri Dax, Ezri wasn't bisexual before being joined with the Dax symbiont, and now she has to adjust.

Fic:: Misremembering the Alamo
by Raven
PG, gen, Deep Space Nine. Ezri & ensemble, figuring stuff out.

the first time Ezri Dax saw a woman )
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
Things that are making me happy today:

1. Sunshine. Oh, sunshine and spring! Is it only me who forgets it comes every year? Over the weekend, [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong wandered through parks and by the river and under lush clouds of cherry-blossom. It was such a long winter; everything is so bright.

2. The Indelicates' new album, "Songs For Swinging Lovers". After a few days of not really listening to it, I gave it the fair shot this afternoon and have spent a little while dancing around my room. I particularly like "Ill" and "Jerusalem", and this is where I would upload them as tasters, but! But, I don't have to! You can download the album legally here! Get thee downloaded and dance.

3. Related to the above - the dancing around the room, that is - I have written 1200 words of my remix, and I know what the rest will be about! Ditto [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest - I'm really looking forward to it, and my wee story is nearly finished, hurrah.

4. [livejournal.com profile] shimgray returns tonight, with gin-shaped boozes for me. I missed him but mostly I like boozes.

5. Deep Space Nine! I finished watching it last night, and oh, oh, I have some thinky thoughts and a lot of flail and oh, Odo, and Kira, and Jake, I love them all so much. Why do I lose my heart to Star Trek, why. (There is a long and teeeedious post detailing my love in the works, I am so sorry.) [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong and I spent much of the weekend shouting "Gul Dukat and Kai Winn ewwwww!" at each other. (Ewwww!)

We also spent a lot of time declaring everything in the world to be Nick Clegg's fault - Laura's lack of feather boa, my surfeit of employment law, the failure of my glow-in-the-dark nail varnish to glow in the dark, etc., which brings us to:

6. ...I have been invited, unexpectedly, to a question and answer session with Nick Clegg on Wednesday. I am going to go, but I have no idea what I want to ask him. Hmmm.
raven: young Amy sitting across the table from the Doctor (doctor who - small amy)
First of all, thank you all for your comments on my last post, they were very much appreciated, and I am sorry for disappearing for a fortnight.

As for why I did that... well, I'm quite busy, and what with one thing and another I'm suffering quite badly with anxiety at the moment. My workload is building up gradually, I have an interviewing assessment next week (which is haunting me a little), and I keep thinking in spare moments of the whole moving-abroad thing, so, yes, the ground-state is a little tense. Maybe a lot tense, but it's situational. ("Yes, it's your worst fear," said my talk-therapist, "you're normal.")

But, the weather is getting better and better - god, today was lovely; sunlight like golden sugar, there's that glorious sweetness coming back into it - and my life is coming together and anxiety apart, I feel good. Yesterday night [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong and I drank half a bottle of wine each and went skipping across London in the last of the daylight, with glitter eyeliner and glitter eyeshadow and body glitter and glittery nail polish and glitter hairspray, and when we got to the venue (it was a club night called Stay Beautiful, and there was a lot of glitter in evidence) there was quite a bit of vodka. We looked awesome. I danced a lot. And collapsed into Laura's pillows at some post-midnight hour and woke up with glitter in my ear.

Today we mostly sat in the sunshine, watched Deep Space Nine and Doctor Who, and I have come back to Oxford and am feeling unaccountably sleepy. Things:

-I just read Blackout, the latest installment in Connie Willis' time-travelling historians universe. minor spoilers for Blackout, major ones for Doomsday Book )

-I am, as mentioned above, also still watching Deep Space Nine, and still really rather in love with it. I am four episodes from the end and will wait until I've finished it until I talk about it in general, but more briefly, I was watching an otherwise unremarkable late episode, "Covenant". spoilers )

...bah. I am dull. In short: I am well, there is glitter in my ear, I like books and TV.

Tomorrow, law calls. Night night.
raven: Kira wearing a green tunic against a blue background (ds9 - kira in green)
This is going to be a long post. Have some music first. Karine Polwart, whom I discovered recently via [livejournal.com profile] icepixie, has a very lovely voice, and occasionally quite unsettling lyrics: Resolution Road, What Are You Waiting For?.

The good:

-Life continues apace. I am coming up on a strange time; during March, I have no classes Monday to Friday, but exams every Saturday, and a few in the middle - skills-based whatnot, advocacy and other things - which is not at all what I'm used to but perversely I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'm having trouble getting up in the morning these days, so study leave when I can work at 2am if I want to will go down well, and, well, I got my mocks back, most of them, and I'm pleased. They are a scraped commendation (59.5 - civil lit), a proper commendation (business law) and, surprise of all surprises, the exam I didn't prepare for at all - snow and going-to-India conspiring between them - the property exam, I got a highly unexpected high distinction. I feel good about it - like I might do well, not only in my exams, but in practice.

-Property law, yes. I have sudden fears, these days, that I might be a land lawyer when I grow up. I haven't met anyone else who likes it as much as I do, but people must, surely, because there are land lawyers in the world? It's so... I don't know, I don't think any law is tangible but English land law is as close as you can get to it; there's so much history in it, so much tradition, so many things you say, as though reciting chants to hold back your gods - say, "bona fide purchaser for value"[1] twice fast before breakfast; say "freehold interest subject to compulsory first registration", and something happens by magic. But nevertheless it's elegant, internally consistent, intellectually satisfying, and I was worried my liking for land law wouldn't translate to a liking for property practice, but so far so decidedly hoopy.

Anyway. Land law, a good thing in my life. Everyone should have hobbies.

-Deep Space Nine s5 and s6 )

-Something different. There's a man in my class at school, whose initial is not F. Yesterday morning I had a great deal of trouble getting out of bed, and I was cranky when I turned up for criminal litigation, and while I was crankily working through my stack of witness statements, F. was at the next table and he was talking about gay and lesbian people. F. is a devout Christian, which is one thing, and a literalist when it comes to Leviticus, which is quite another; after about ten minutes of listening to him talking about homosexuality being evil, wrong, and a sickness (and, to their credit, the people around him not arguing, but basically trying to shush him), I spoke up and, you know how you have an image of yourself in your head? Someone who is a proud liberal and a proud activist, who says what she thinks and gets her points across with elegant, economical sang-froid?

Yeah, it wasn't like that. I tried not to get upset and told him that I came to my class for purposes of criminal litigation, and there, then, should not have to listen to those things, quite apart from any discussion we might have outside of class. He said he'd got a right to state his opinion, I said not if it upset me in my crim lit class, the tutor returned at that point, case closed for the moment.

Today, I was checking my email during the break when F. came and asked for a word. Okay, I said, warily, what is it.

He said he was sorry. That he'd had no right to speak like that, and he was sorry if what he had said had upset me, and that his views were one thing but he didn't have any right to impose them on me, especially as it was something I found upsetting. He hoped I would forgive him but if not at least I'd know he was sorry.

Bless the man, really.

The bad:

-I am finding it very hard to get up in the mornings, lately. I note this merely for the record at the moment, with the additional note that it's February, I have had two bursts of culture shock in the recent past, and I have exams and academic stress at a greater than normal degree for the time of year. I am going to buy myself a wake-up lamp, and sleep in a little more than I strictly ought.

The ugly indifferent different:

-One of Shim's stranger talents is being able to declaim Kipling to suit all occasions. I have read him, not to the same degree, and while I like his writing, a lot, my thoughts are partly complicated and partly tread the usual aesthetic path of whether I ought to find value in his work, when I know what his views were. The Jungle Book and the Just So Stories aren't, shall we say, entirely representative.

I've started reading him again recently, because I was in India, and it seemed appropriate, and on the whole, I think I would rather read him than not, even if his flashes of racism and his glorification of empire are occasional bad tastes among the good. This is nowhere more evident than in O Beloved Kids, a collection of his letters to his young children, which are full of joys and wordplay and little pen-and-ink drawings and the word "nigger". But I keep reading it, and finding joy in it. I don't know. It was an old moral problem a long time ago, and one of the things I find joy in is how much he loved India, how much that love suffuses every line he wrote about the place, and should you take joy in that, or worry that the India he loved rightfully ceased to exist sixty years ago? I don't know, I don't know. I wish there was at least a starting place with these things - if, for example, the introduction to the letters had not been half-heartedly apologist, but had said outright, Kipling was a racist of his time and a little in his own special way, and this was bad, this was wrong and hurtful, and he was also a Nobel laureate for literature and his writing is full of joy and beauty, and this is good, and the mixture is uneasy but here it is.

I stun myself with my lack of profundity. I shall go and tackle leasehold interests.

[1] Who is also known, in quite formal settings, as "equity's darling", a phrase which delights me unduly.
raven: Karen Gillan as Amy Pond, wearing green and red and looking up (Default)
So, you know Harry Potter, right? That bit where Ron gets up early and eats some chocolates, that he thinks are meant for him, and actually they aren't meant for him, they're meant for Harry, sort of, they're from Romilda Vane, who is in love with Harry, so they're laced with love potion, so now Ron is in love with Romilda, and Harry has to punch him, and they take him to Slughorn, who gives him the antidote, and a drink of mead, only the mead is meant for Dumbledore, sort of, and it's poisoned, and he, Ron that is, falls to the floor frothing at the mouth until Harry shoves a bezoar down his throat, and the first thing Fred says when he comes round is, "So, all in all, not one of Ron's better birthdays?"

...no, my birthday wasn't that bad.

No, actually, it wasn't bad at all. [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong left me a pile of presents over the weekend, and I opened them at midnight, because I am grown-up, and now I own my very own Tribble (it makes angry noises! and happy noises! but mostly angry noises) and the novelisation of Trials and Tribble-ations, which is adorable and worth the price of admission just for the foreword, by David Gerrold, the writer of "The Trouble With Tribbles", recounting how much fun he had playing a silver-haired redshirt on the Deep Space Nine set. (Oh, how much do I love Deep Space Nine? Thiiiis much.) And [livejournal.com profile] shimgray says he has three installments of presents for me (and one of them is not a book!), but for last night, he gave me a beautifully obscure book about reported ghosts on the Underground.

(He did note, though, that someone being given birthday presents of Star Trek toys and books on the history of underground transit systems usually belongs to a different demographic from me. I said, yes, but, Laura also gave me a ridiculously adorable Scarlet & Crimson eyeshadow kit.

"Yes, well," he said, "in that regard you actually are a unique and special snowflake.")

And [livejournal.com profile] pinkfinity gave me a shot of vodka with lime for my profile (entirely birthday inappropriate, and just what I wanted - thank you very much, dear!), and lots of my friends sent me sweet little notes and messages, my class at school gave me a truly horrific and touching rendition of Happy Birthday with untuned honky-tonk-piano accompaniment, and I hurried home at five to pick up a parcel I thought was an Amazon order, but turned out to be a present from [livejournal.com profile] tau_sigma - holographically wrapped Star Trek playing cards! (Her comment: now you can place Kirk and Spock in all kinds of positions! YES. YES, I CAN. Thank you so much, honey.)

So although the day was quite hard, I am loved and valued, yes I am, and besides, the day is getting funnier in retrospect. The forecast was for heavy snow, which sort of transpired and sort of didn't - it snowed, somewhere, high in the atmosphere where the snow was powdery and the air as clear as a bell, and by the time it reached the ground it was wet, heavy, stinging soft ice. I was dressed for advocacy, and because it's my birthday had decided on my most favourite red lipstick, and of course by the time I arrived I looked like a slush-soaked rat.

(And then, entirely failed to effectively prosecute someone by neglecting to mention at any point the fact that the defendant is a VERY BAD MAN.

Okay, I say fail. I actually managed it on the grounds that the defence was even worse than I was.)

And then, due to a series of ridiculous events I ran down to the careers service over lunch and arrived eight minutes late, which isn't generally the end of the world, but it was a fifteen-minute appointment. Sigh. It was helpful, though - to deal with applications to American universities, Oxford have done the obvious thing and got in an actual American, who is just a very reassuring person when it comes to asking things like "oh god if I write that will I sound like a wanker" - and she sent me off today saying, "Go away! Next time I see you, I want it to be because you've got in. Let me know when you do."

...as though it were a given. Which is probably misguided, but sweet. I have now applied to Cornell. One more to go.

And then I sat patiently through two hours of accounts, which I am terrible at, and came home. And here I am. I am trying very hard to remember I am not sad because it-is-my-birthday-and-no-one-loves-me, I am sad because I was sad yesterday and I was sad the day before and I live in about the worst climate in the world for feeling-of-sad, and also my mother called me and that usually does make me feel sad whether or not it's my birthday.

Okay, something happy to finish with. On Saturday, last Saturday, that is, [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong was visiting, and she deemed it administratively my birthday so we went to lunch at Red Star, and [livejournal.com profile] foreverdirt and [livejournal.com profile] vampire_kitten gave me flowers, and [livejournal.com profile] sebastienne showed me her Bra of Rassilon (it's like her Tam O'Shanter of Rassilon, but better), and [livejournal.com profile] dr_biscuit told me again exactly why John Howard resembles a penis in cross-section, because it makes me laugh. And Shim and I went to have dinner with [livejournal.com profile] luminometrice and a whole bunch of other people, and we ate a lot of food, thrashed everyone at Articulate and sat up and played paper games until two in the morning. (Shim wanted to know why I'm good at Articulate; a little thought, and then I remembered what I plan to do for a living.)

(A good paper game: my favourite version of consequences, which involves writing a short scenario/story (e.g. "two old ladies are on a walk when they meet an alligator"), the next person writes down what they think it means, and gives it to the next person to draw, etc. It helps if you have no artistic talent whatsoever; somehow Shim's drawing of two stick figures escaping from a lion became, via liturgical lions and an oversized caterpillar, in my words, "confused people at Tiananmen Square".)

And, besides. What do I want for my birthday that money can buy (i.e., not law school admission, world peace, for Massachusetts not to have just elected a Republican senator and the Incredible Fornicatores next door to stop having sex)? A birthday cake, and maaaaybe another season of Deep Space Nine, and oh, a pretty ruffly cardigan from Anthropologie. That's not a lot, as wishlists go. Life's okay, isn't it.

October 2017

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