Quiz- a good one

I've been doing too many quizzes lately, but I like this one:
Fictional character you would...

spend the rest of your life with in perfect bliss:
Daniel Jackson. I mean, who else? funny, intelligent and so fucking pretty...

have an emotionally void but wicked hot one-night stand with:
Sparrowhawk. Wizard of Earthsea's Sparrowhawk. I'm twisted, so sue me.

set up with your best friend:
Um.... Becca/Chandler Bing. Emily/Mulder - I think. Who else? Mani/Ron Weasley. She's been in love with him since before the film...

get wasted with:
Oooh, Zaphod Beeblebrox!

employ as a live-in masseuse:
Um.... Xander. I think.

use as a human pillow:
Chandler Bing. Becca can lend me him.

bring home to meet the 'rents:
Harry Potter? Innocent and heroic...(actually sounds like Daniel, but there you go)

tie up in your basement and kick when you're feeling frustrated:
Hathor! Sly, conniving, way-too-much-chunky-jewellery, bitch, bitch, bitch again...
Ooh, yeah, also the Borg Queen. Come to think of it she and Hathor have a lot in common. *kick kick kick*

"I love you, I'm not gonna crack..."

I hate my family at present. Make that my mother. She strides in at six thirty, in a holy Vatican righteous rage because I haven't done this that or whatever. "Yes, hello, mother, I've just been fucking lonely and completely myself for the last seven hours, how are you?"
But she hates everything about me. She loves me, I think, but she doesn't like me. There's a world of difference. She hates everything I am, everything I've become, she hates how I'm so different from the other little Indian girls.
And yet... I don't wish I was like those little girls. They're trapped, just as I am, but I'm lucky inasmuch as I know I'm trapped. I can fight and bite and break free - they'll die in chains. I will not be crushed just because of where I come from. I will not let them crush me.
Even the one who loves me most - my bua - thinks I'm too much. She thinks I should listen to Britney Spears, wear pretty pink jeans, and not argue my point, but just say namaste like a good little girl. And this from someone who loves me and understands me. She does - she's very like me in many ways. Maybe I will end up like her, but I don't want that.
I feel like I have to make a choice - either I fight, break free, do everything I wanted and forget my heritage and my family and my lineage, or I stay true to my roots and let myself be crushed!
Who am I? I see myself as having to shock them, scare them, rebel against them, because it's all I know how to do. If I don't, then I'll have fallen into the trap. I'll grow up, become a doctor, work for a few years and then give it up in favour of marriage to a nice Hindu professional boy, settle down, have children, first a boy and then a girl, live long enough to see them repeat the pattern and then die.
And in my version - I want to do so much. I want to grow up and learn how to write well, how to appreciate good writing and good music, to write, review, criticise, get a career and make a name for myself. If I meet someone - maybe. If not, fuck the institution of marriage. I want to die happy.
But I don't want to forget where I've come from. I want to be proud of who I am. But it seems to escape I have to break my family's heart and die alone.
Until not very long ago I used to think I would give in eventually, but I can't. Fairly soon, I'll have done my GCSEs and then I'll have to tell the world what I'm going to do with my life.

Dirty needles

So. Parents have just had huge fuck-off screaming match and are pretending I don't exist. I have just realised I'm stuck in a rut for eight weeks, with no friends, no family and nothing but my own company.
Can I be blamed for saying my life is not a bed of roses right at this moment?
I don't know.... I've always thought I've had my life mapped out for me until now, simply because I'm vaguely clever.
No-one ever thought I could ever go off the rails because of who I am, you know what I mean?
So maybe that's what I want to do. Run away, cut loose, get stoned, scratch at my arms with dirty needles, anything, just so I feel like I've got something to do and somewhere to be.
Even if it is inside my own head.