Enough is enough, let me go...

[raven]

Two weeks of mock exams are over. Finally. The Classics was all right, nothing special, and I didn't do badly for someone who had done as little revision as possible.

The Drama was weird. I really had no idea what to write, and wrote a lot less than everyone else, so finished an hour early. I've never been so restive - I just wanted to stand up and leave and just go, because we've had exams, enough is enough is enough, let me go.

They let me go in the end, of course. I haven't done very well on that Drama but I'm finding it hard to care. As usual.

But yes. I was in a good mood, a sparkling mood, and I was walking down the road with Becca and Bev, and we were having a pleasantly involved conversation about our A-level choices, when a bunch of kids came by and shouted, "Fucking Paki!"

What else? What else could have brought me down from my happy place? Obviously this had to happen, today of all days. And just when I was telling purplerainbow the other day about how pleased I was that this hadn't happened in so long, and then, crash bang fuck, it does, and leaves me

I'm proud of how I dealt with it. I am. Becca inclined her head and said, "Woggy woggy wog?" to one of them. They were just kids. Younger than me. Bev shouted "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. There was something irresistibly comical about that kid's face, faced down with Becca, much bigger than him, daring him to say something in reply to "Woggy woggy wog?"

But when they'd gone, something perverse and perverted inside my head sorted through the background fuzziness and came back with what that kid said, digitally remastered in painful clarity. "Fucking Paki."

I hate myself for letting this get to me. I hate it.

Fucking racist fuckers.

Comments

[ex-svendra317.livejournal.com]

You know, it's cliche, but it's truthful, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Call it a lesson of life if you want to (albeit an irritating one that you would have rather missed).

There are idiots in this world and sadly we have to share it with them. I live in the hope they all get herpes, but that's just me.

Once you're done simmering over it (because you *will* simmer), let it go and carry on. These people aren't worth the thought. By day they're racist idiots and by night they probably eat wallpaper or something.

I'm so sorry you had to experience it. It sucks. It's always so sad meeting people with such limited vocabulary ;-)

D.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I like the image of them all getting herpes...

I'm glad you think it's right to simmer. Cause I felt stupid doing that, but hey, I'll get over it.

Oh, and btw, I just saw your mood icon set. They are beyond fantastic... makes me wish I was still in the fandom!

Re:

[ex-svendra317.livejournal.com]

Well quit wishing and get back in. It's ain't such a bad place ;-)

And don't feel silly about simmering. Simmering is good for your pores.

D.