Enough is enough, let me go...

[raven]

Two weeks of mock exams are over. Finally. The Classics was all right, nothing special, and I didn't do badly for someone who had done as little revision as possible.

The Drama was weird. I really had no idea what to write, and wrote a lot less than everyone else, so finished an hour early. I've never been so restive - I just wanted to stand up and leave and just go, because we've had exams, enough is enough is enough, let me go.

They let me go in the end, of course. I haven't done very well on that Drama but I'm finding it hard to care. As usual.

But yes. I was in a good mood, a sparkling mood, and I was walking down the road with Becca and Bev, and we were having a pleasantly involved conversation about our A-level choices, when a bunch of kids came by and shouted, "Fucking Paki!"

What else? What else could have brought me down from my happy place? Obviously this had to happen, today of all days. And just when I was telling purplerainbow the other day about how pleased I was that this hadn't happened in so long, and then, crash bang fuck, it does, and leaves me

I'm proud of how I dealt with it. I am. Becca inclined her head and said, "Woggy woggy wog?" to one of them. They were just kids. Younger than me. Bev shouted "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. There was something irresistibly comical about that kid's face, faced down with Becca, much bigger than him, daring him to say something in reply to "Woggy woggy wog?"

But when they'd gone, something perverse and perverted inside my head sorted through the background fuzziness and came back with what that kid said, digitally remastered in painful clarity. "Fucking Paki."

I hate myself for letting this get to me. I hate it.

Fucking racist fuckers.

Comments

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Damn, that's awful. I'm sorry.

It's hard not to let it get to you. I've never experienced that specific sort of prejudice, but I've certainly had my share of idiots like that. I can't help but take it personally, even though I know it's just some ignorant person who has no idea who I am.

I think my sister has the best solution to this sort of thing. She threatens gastronomical mutilation for anyone who calls her names. *grins* It works.

Blah. That's no fun. Again, sorry that happened, but know that no one whose opinion matters would ever say something like that.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie.

I like the sound of your sister...

[*to tune of Ode to Joy* Morons, morons, morons, morons... ]

...and I'm off to eat chocolate and feel happy.

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

Stupid racist fuckers indeed.
Ruining what should have been the happiest day of your recent life.
I hope they cried.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs*
I hope they did, too!

[scarlatti.livejournal.com]

Fucking idiots. >:(

I haven't had to deal with racist insults, but I've had to deal with similar crap all my life. (Insults flung at me on the street for other reasons.) And it does get to you -- how can it not?

I'll never understand the impulse that drives people to do things like that -- curse at and/or insult total strangers. It's usually groups of boys, too. Pack mentality, I guess.

It sucks, man. Must kick the Keep Raven Happy Initiative into overdrive now.... :)

Glad your exams are over, though!

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm glad they're over too.

And I'm also very grateful for the Keep Raven Happy Initiative.
Seriously, I love my friends. They seem to have succeeded in making me not care about what happened today.

I'm so sorry this happened to you too. Morons.

[ex-svendra317.livejournal.com]

You know, it's cliche, but it's truthful, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Call it a lesson of life if you want to (albeit an irritating one that you would have rather missed).

There are idiots in this world and sadly we have to share it with them. I live in the hope they all get herpes, but that's just me.

Once you're done simmering over it (because you *will* simmer), let it go and carry on. These people aren't worth the thought. By day they're racist idiots and by night they probably eat wallpaper or something.

I'm so sorry you had to experience it. It sucks. It's always so sad meeting people with such limited vocabulary ;-)

D.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I like the image of them all getting herpes...

I'm glad you think it's right to simmer. Cause I felt stupid doing that, but hey, I'll get over it.

Oh, and btw, I just saw your mood icon set. They are beyond fantastic... makes me wish I was still in the fandom!

Re:

[ex-svendra317.livejournal.com]

Well quit wishing and get back in. It's ain't such a bad place ;-)

And don't feel silly about simmering. Simmering is good for your pores.

D.

The idiots we suffer...

[mahlia.livejournal.com]

I know just what it is like... though in my case it is weight not race. Has been happening since the day I started school 26 years ago. I just imagine them all being hit by a car (one that looks remarkably like mine!) or else I hold a burning. This is when I write down things that annoy or hurt me, along with pics if I have them, and then burn them one by one. Just watching those lovely flames devour the pages and names is incredibly therapeutic! It also helps the pyro in me...
I also hold to the idea of Karma. They will pay for what they say in one way or another, and it will be worse than anything we could do to them.

Re: The idiots we suffer...

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

The burning sounds like fun. There's a pyromaniac in everyone...

Seriously, I'm sad to hear stuff like this has happened to so many people. Let's hope you're right, they'll pay for what they say...

[lilka.livejournal.com]

Ack. Fucking morons. People like that make me want to spit. And mutilate. Not necessarily in that order. I'm really, really sorry this happened.

Well, in the interests of cheering you up, I'm posting with my nice icon :) *whispers* I'm also working on another little ficcy... *hides Hawkeye and Trapper behind her back*