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ravenApparently, some strange people with time on their hands have been researching what is the world's funniest joke. The answer they came up with:
Two gamekeepers are walking through the woods. Suddenly, a bear jumps out from nowhere and mauls one of them, drags him around by the hair, bangs his head about and then leaves him for dead, while his friend watches in horror. Once the bear goes, he runs down to his friend's side, whips out his mobile, and dials for help. The emergency services woman is very helpful. "First of all," she says, "make sure he's dead."
There's a sound of a gunshot, and then the guy comes back on the line. "Okay, now what?"
Is it just me, or is that joke not funny? I did laugh out loud at the runner-up, however, which goes as follows:
A dog goes to the post office and asks to send a telegram. He takes a sheet, and carefully writes, "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The woman who takes it from him notices there are only nine words. "You could send another "woof" for the same price," she says.
"Oh, I couldn't do that," says the dog. "That would make absolutely no sense at all."
I laughed at that. But then I carried on reading the article (it was in Time) which reaches the unavoidable conclusion that this is not the funniest joke in the world, it is the funniest clean joke in the world. The guy running the project had this to say for himself: "Well, I wouldn't have minded, but we were going to put the results on the university website, so..."
And that's that. However, in my humble opinion, the funniest joke in the world is one of the jokes that used to come at the end of the Vicar of Dibley. And here... *drum roll*... it is:
Superman is flying over New York one day when whaddaya know, he sees Wonderwoman sunbathing naked on a flat roof. So, being in that kind of a mood, he flies down, does the business, and then flies off again.
Once he's gone, Wonderwoman says, "What the hell was that?"
The Invisible Man climbs off her, and says thoughtfully, "I don't know, but it fucking well hurt!"
So sue me, I am easily amused. I loved this joke. Actually, I loved all the Vicar of Dibley jokes. What Alice says after this one is even funnier than the joke itself, but I'll ruin it if I don't quote verbatim, so I'm not even going to try.
Two gamekeepers are walking through the woods. Suddenly, a bear jumps out from nowhere and mauls one of them, drags him around by the hair, bangs his head about and then leaves him for dead, while his friend watches in horror. Once the bear goes, he runs down to his friend's side, whips out his mobile, and dials for help. The emergency services woman is very helpful. "First of all," she says, "make sure he's dead."
There's a sound of a gunshot, and then the guy comes back on the line. "Okay, now what?"
Is it just me, or is that joke not funny? I did laugh out loud at the runner-up, however, which goes as follows:
A dog goes to the post office and asks to send a telegram. He takes a sheet, and carefully writes, "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The woman who takes it from him notices there are only nine words. "You could send another "woof" for the same price," she says.
"Oh, I couldn't do that," says the dog. "That would make absolutely no sense at all."
I laughed at that. But then I carried on reading the article (it was in Time) which reaches the unavoidable conclusion that this is not the funniest joke in the world, it is the funniest clean joke in the world. The guy running the project had this to say for himself: "Well, I wouldn't have minded, but we were going to put the results on the university website, so..."
And that's that. However, in my humble opinion, the funniest joke in the world is one of the jokes that used to come at the end of the Vicar of Dibley. And here... *drum roll*... it is:
Superman is flying over New York one day when whaddaya know, he sees Wonderwoman sunbathing naked on a flat roof. So, being in that kind of a mood, he flies down, does the business, and then flies off again.
Once he's gone, Wonderwoman says, "What the hell was that?"
The Invisible Man climbs off her, and says thoughtfully, "I don't know, but it fucking well hurt!"
So sue me, I am easily amused. I loved this joke. Actually, I loved all the Vicar of Dibley jokes. What Alice says after this one is even funnier than the joke itself, but I'll ruin it if I don't quote verbatim, so I'm not even going to try.
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no subject
on 2002-10-15 10:36 am (UTC)i have heard them both before and i consider the runner up to be funnier.
it also depends on the way its told.
so really only someone who has never heard a joke before could really be a judge.
but then they might not have a sense of humour.
it all depends on if they have a good or a bad sense of humour.
oh and to be truely sad... well only slightly as i have the book with the scripts in i shall type out the vicar of dibly joke.
Geraldine and Alice are making palm crosses together whilst having a cup of coffee
Geraldin So, Superman's feeling a bit bored, because Spiderman and Batman are on a scuba diving course.
Alice Oh, shame.
Geraldine Mmm, so he hasn't got anyone to play with. So he's flying around and suddenly he sees Wonderwoman naked, spread-eagled, on the top of a tall building.
Alice She'll catch cold.
Geraldine No, it's summer.
A Well, thank goodness for that.
G Yeah so, he's always fancied Wonderwoman, so he thinks, 'now's my chance,' and he swoops down and faster than a speeding bullet does the business and then flies off again. A moment later, Wonderwoman says, 'what was that?' And the Invisable Man climbs off her and says, 'I don't know, but it hurt a lot.' [Geraldine cracks up laughing.] I know it's rude but it's very funny.
A I don't get it.
G No, I didn't expect you would.
A Well you seem to be suggesting that Superman committed homosexual rape on the Invisable Man and I just don't find that funny.
G Right.
A In fact, you're besmirching the reputation of two of the finest superheroes this world has ever known. I mean I've never actually met them, well, I might have met the Invisable Man, I wouldn't know. He's invisable. But I've heard they are both really nice guys. Frankly, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. Goodbye, Vicar.
She gets up and leaves
G Prude.
no subject
on 2002-10-15 02:02 pm (UTC)You have hidden depths, Catherine.
Re:
on 2002-10-15 02:26 pm (UTC)yes I have a book with the scripts in.