Meme #6 - and folded in this scrap of paper is a land I grew in

[raven]

Another day! Still building taxonomies. It's... wow, I'm exhausted right now.

gamesiplay asked: You have a tag called "FIAWOL"; it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out what that was an acronym for. What does fandom as A Way Of Life mean to you?

So "fandom is a way of life" is certainly a set phrase that's older than I am, and I don't suppose I use it in the same way as those who coined it did, or possibly many other people, but, anyway, here goes.

There’s a quotation sourced to Lev Grossman that does the rounds periodically about how what fandom is, basically, is, punk. Here it is:

“I adore the way fan fiction writers engage with and critique source texts, by manipulating them and breaking their rules. Some of it is straight-up homage, but a lot of [fan fiction] is really aggressive towards the source text. One tends to think of it as written by total fanboys and fangirls as a kind of worshipful act, but a lot of times you’ll read these stories and it’ll be like ‘What if Star Trek had an openly gay character on the bridge?’ And of course the point is that they don’t, and they wouldn’t, because they don’t have the balls, or they are beholden to their advertisers, or whatever. There’s a powerful critique, almost punk-like anger, being expressed there—which I find fascinating and interesting and cool.”

That's exactly it, to my mind. I guess, what I mean by fandom as a way of life is that fandom is important to me in the abstract sense as well as the day-to-day specifics. I think fandom is, both in substance and function, transformative. I’ve written before about how I believe that it was fandom, in conjunction with other things that mostly were also brought into my life by fandom, that transformed me from a shy and awkward thirteen-year-old to a shy and awkward, but settled-in-herself, adult. Fandom gave me community and the confidence to take my place in that community, and a cheerful cognisance that my community was really a global community: that I belonged to something greater than myself. But in some sense that transformation is over – I’m grown up now! Twenty-seven next month! What even happened? – and now I’m sort of getting ready to push off into that long haul of adulthood and I suppose, yes, it is the time to think about what fandom is to me now.

I guess, to be in fandom for me, regardless of whether I’m currently writing a 20,000-word epic story about Parks & Rec and alien invasions, or not; or whether I’m super-excited about a TV show about spaceships, or not; or if I went to four cons this year or none or wanted to but couldn’t afford to or saw fangirls last weekend or haven’t in months; regardless of any of those things: fandom is to make a choice, every day, to be part of a transformative world. To think, I can tell that story better, or differently, or just, with more cock jokes. To make people in power angry. To be such a threatening force in the world that we must needs take our place in the grand litany of women’s writing and art, and the writing and art of other subaltern groups, and be trivialised, demeaned and category-errored out of existence. Fandom is what teenage girls do (because, of course, to be young and a woman at the same time is the worst crime society can conceive of). Fandom is derivative and unoriginal (which is bad, unless it’s Margaret Attwood or Shakespeare doing it, in which case it’s innovative and literary). Fandom is theft (because to create a means of production of culture for no material gain is worryingly anti-capitalist). Fandom is nothing but badly-written porn (because mainstream porn is, of course, so suffused in quality, and young girls and women mustn’t be allowed to think for a moment that they can claim ownership of their own sexuality). I’m over all of that bullshit and people who peddle it. Those people are scared of fandom and they ought to be. Fandom teaches, you can retell the story your way. Consider how powerful an idea that is. Today it'll be the stories we tell ourselves about spaceships. Tomorrow, it'll be the stories we tell ourselves about justice. The day after it will be both of those at once.

(Relatedly, I loathe this pseudo-cute fannish thing right now of white fans saying things like, “Fandom loves [pretty white boys]”, or “I love [X], but of course fandom doesn’t, fandom only likes [Y] [because he's a cute boy] etc”. I am fandom. I have been fandom every day for thirteen years. It’s super-precious that you want to erase me for the sake of making a rhetorical point, except, actually, it’s not.)

And as well as that, fandom is love. Fandom is, well, fandom is how to be open to that – to look at the world and think, wow, there’s so much there to be excited about. Some people kissed on TV and it was awesome and it made me so happy and I want to go tell all my friends about it! Some other people successfully hit a small round object through a standing structure in front of thousands of spectators (and it was awesome and it made me so happy and I want to go tell all my friends about it!) There was a movie about giant robots! There was a book about spaceships for great justice! There was a story retelling another story that was itself a retelling of a story written 5,000 years ago by human beings just like us! (And it was awesome! And it made me so happy! And… you get it.)

So I guess the rumours are true and that fandom does skew young - in mind, I suppose, rather than body; because it demands of you the capacity to remain angry, to remain punk, to reject cynicism, to love them all and their faces so damn much. I think, at this stage of slightly unwilling adulthood, that's okay.

Comments

[kaberett]

Yes yes yes -- daring to love, devotional art, all of these things.

[scribe]

Yes, this, for always.

[rhivolution]

I love this post so much.

[soupytwist]

I feel like this post really encapsulates SO MUCH of why I think you're fabulous. Hell fucking yeah you are fandom. ♥

(I may have to get FANDOM IS PUNK shirts made. On principle.)

[hedda62]

fandom is how to be open to that – to look at the world and think, wow, there’s so much there to be excited about

YES. I think, personally, that it's cynicism I'm rebelling against most, at an age not twice yours but oh god close enough, though of course I reserve the right to be cynical about things that ping me that way, and still defend others' rights to love them, or that is the ideal anyway. I've been thinking a lot about joy recently, and how it's far less childlike than we like to think.

And this is an excellent post, and you are SO fandom.

[pearwaldorf]

This, all of this.

[sarken]

Those people are scared of fandom and they ought to be. Fandom teaches, you can retell the story your way. Consider how powerful an idea that is. Today it'll be the stories we tell ourselves about spaceships. Tomorrow, it'll be the stories we tell ourselves about justice.

Absolutely perfect.

[cosmic_llin]

<3 to all of this!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

A thousand times yes!

And fandom is finding that the people you wished were real when you were nine really are real! And they love the same things you do, and they read the same books you did, and loved them too. And they will be your friends.

[wishfulaces.livejournal.com]

This, yes, this. I haven't been active in fandom this year, I haven't seen my fannish friends this year, but this: I can remake the story the way I choose.

Fandom has taught me or sharpened a lot of my critical thinking skills. Fandom has given me heroes, my friends and women I care about who make me laugh. Fandom is, in fact, pretty damn awesome.

Yay. :)

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, this.

I've had a pretty tumultuous couple of months(/years but you know whatever), and sometimes it feels like my entire life now is wake up -- commute to work -- work -- commute home -- fall into bed and sleep until I -- wake up... and so on.

There have only been a few exceptions to this routine in months; I mean, I can count them on one hand. A few months back, I took Hayley downtown and had dinner with a friend I "met" online in 2004, when I was eighteen and starting undergrad and she was in art school. She was in town for a comics expo, because she's now a Real Artist (I got several of her short works for free; they're amazing) and we walked around this city where I, magically, live, until it got too cold and then we ate Indian food at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and went back to her cousin's apartment and talked for hours about life.

And tonight I just got home from walking around the city and eating dinner with abyssinia4077, who was in town for a conference because she's a Real Scientist, and among other things I told her that she MUST read your Andrea-Wyatt-is-Ben-Wyatt's-sister story ASAP. :)

There was more here, but it was only tangentially relevant. The point is: yes. This entry is lovely

fandom does skew young - in mind, I suppose, rather than body; because it demands of you the capacity to remain angry, to remain punk, to reject cynicism, to love them all and their faces so damn much.

What you say about cynicism, and openness to feeling joy and wonder, is some part of what makes me cling to fandom as a community even when I'm not writing or reading or doing much of anything. That desperate hope that you can stay young in mind, against all odds. I think that's what I mean when I talk about "I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now." I suspect you may know sort of what I mean.

♥

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 thank you very much for asking me to write it, honey. "I was so much older then [...]" - I love that that's a phrase we both use, and both mean the same thing by it. I am delighted by the thought of you and abyssinia4077 wandering SF together so recently - I wish I'd been there. :)

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd been there.

I wish you had, too. <3

(It REALLY BUGS ME that LJ apparently no longer allows subject lines for comments, because I was so looking forward to using "'We'll meet on edges soon,' said I" as a subject line.)

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

Maybe this is why I'm not good at fandom; I'm not very good at punk, either (too boring and conventional).

I am fandom. I have been fandom every day for thirteen years.
<3 I am glad you have something in your life that has brought you so much joy.