help, help, I'm being oppressed

[raven]

Family reunion! So far an aunt has broken the kettle - coffee, guys, I need coffee, I really need coffee - and the boiler has gone, softly, kaboom, and the man from British Gas is doing ritual blood sacrifices beneath it, and said aunts are apparently lost on a train in from Manchester, my mother has decided she doesn't like what I'm doing with my hair these days, and I have read all of about four pages of land law since eight o'clock this morning, and Best Friend From Childhood is coming up this afternoon with an unidentified individual who was apparently at school with me (and described me as "very eccentric and political" - omg, someone who knew me at SCHOOL, halp) also have already had my quivering-in-shower going "omg, omg, NO ONE LOVES ME, BECAUSE I AM MADE OF FAIL" moment, or long sequence of moments. O hai, I was having a nervous breakdown, and for some reason I thought the bosom of my family would be soothing. I NEED MORE PILLS otherwise I will TALK IN CAPS UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

Also, if the phone rings one more time I am going to smash it into tiny wee pieces and throw it into the sea.

(At that point the phone rang again. I answered it. It was my father, wanting to know my email address, because somehow in the last eight years he has failed to commit it to memory. He has had an email from a friend of his, he says, who is a barrister and can give me a mini-pupillage.

...I don't know. Life, she is strange and amazing.)

I have a feeling that when this nervous breakdown is over I shall have to have another one, to get over it.

ANYWAY. I am going softly, quietly, insane. Please, all of you, make soothing noises at me, or at least be distracting in my general direction. I need amusement of the sort that will not cause me to have a nervous breakdown.

eta: an uncle has just told me that I haven't really thought through being a lawyer, because it's a lot of hard work. Is it? Is it really? I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA.

son of eta: the internet BROKE. Then I burst into tears. Then it came back. I am sorry, internets. I did not mean to emotionally blackmail you oh god never leave me again.

Comments

[coriolis]

*has Hugh Jackman dance for your amusement*

[emily-shore.livejournal.com]

You are very much loved by a lot of people... I know that sometimes it helps to know that.

*hugs*

I will now tell you things in the hope of being distracting...

I have been busy photocopying huge quantities of pages from books that are just too boring to actually take notes on. I ate Huge Quantities of Cheese at a going-away party last night. And I have been frothing at the mouth about the new John Lennon biography... I managed to spot two mistakes in it after spending five minutes flipping through it at the bookstore! I was about to make harumphing noises and say "I could write a better biography than that," but actually I think I could write a rather good biography given the chance, so arguably that's not much of a criticism...

Is it wrong that I read biographies such as this one solely in order to 1) grumble about which sources they use and 2) (in this specific instance) to gather more information about Brian's sex life?

[coriolis]

WAIT WAIT HANG ON! You run a Common Rotation comm? Did I know this already, have we already had this discussion?

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Cute things: this (http://busterjourney.blogspot.com/), but particularly this (http://bp1.blogger.com/_oZZNY8B6HtQ/SJhbnYruPOI/AAAAAAAAAGE/qVuGr7TYwr8/s1600-h/IMG_0031.JPG) and this (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oZZNY8B6HtQ/SKHv1SJQ0sI/AAAAAAAAAG8/xsa4Vj7J4oc/s1600-h/IMG_0657.jpg).

[janne.livejournal.com]

My favorite webpage for jittery days: http://www.cuteoverload.com/

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

BUNNY. I want a bunny!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I do, yes! I haven't been particularly involved for many years, but they played live at a party I was at several years ago, and I thought they were delightful.

(No, I don't think we have had this conversation! I had no idea anyone else had even heard of them!)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I am looking at pictures of bunnies. It is good.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

OMG, he DANCES. *stares*

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

Is the hare-of-indeterminate-gender not the cutest thing in the world? ZIR FEETS. ZIR LITTLE FLUFFY FEETS.

[coriolis]

I've met them a couple of times. Well, Adam and Eric. One of my best friends used to run conventions over here, Buffy ones and Farscape ones. One of the conventions had the three geeks from Buffy as the main guests, and since Adam's one of them, he brought Eric over with him and they played a set at the convention. And since I was helping out as staff, we all ended up chatting together afterwards. They've been over a couple of times that I know of. Heeeee!

[leiascully.livejournal.com]

I wrap you in soft blankets and coo at you. You are not made of fail! You are made of loveliness and win and brainpower.

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

Here, have a panda.

And yay for your dad's friend!

[marymac.livejournal.com]

Impersonate Marvin (see above). When your inner monologue has the voice of Alan Rickman everything is better.

Your aunt broke the kettle? Oh dear.
Last large family gathering we had my cousin went home with my phone. It now has a sticker that says 'Sinead, this is not your phone, idiot.'

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Name a fandom, and thou shalt have a drabble. I'm not sure how or why, but I don't seem to have any work to do this afternoon.

[dougs.livejournal.com]

Singing to the tune "Frère Jacques":

Life is but a
Life is but a
Melancholy flower
Melancholy flower
Life is butter melon
Life is butter melon
Cauliflower
Cauliflower

Now try it with four singers in a round.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I met them at a convention where they played a set! It was awesome!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, The West Wing, please. Back in the early days, when they were all so fresh-faced and awesome.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

LITTLE FLUFFY FEETS. ITS LITTLE FACE. OMG. I want one. Kat, can I have a baby bunny?

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Warning: contains a spoiler for the news.

"The economy is dying," Sam said, striding beside Josh on their way to see Leo.

"Can the economy die?" Josh asked. "Money just goes round and round." He sipped his coffee.

"Do you understand how our financial system works?"

"I may," Josh admitted, "have paid less attention to that."

"Slept through it?"

Josh shook his head. "No!"

"Then how come you don't know what a hedge fund is?"

"I do!" Josh said, as they arrived at Leo's door. He turned the door handle, said, "It's where you keep your money in a hedge," and went in before Sam could reply.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

P.S. will write more lawyer-filled goodness if required to combat patronising uncles.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Please please! That made me laugh. Oh, Josh, he's such a lovely dork.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* How deeply ingrained your historian instincts are makes me laugh. Maybe you should write biographies! Yours wouldn't, at least, omit the good bits!

Re: 1) no and 2) really, definitely not. That's the important part.

And, you're right: sometimes it really does help to be told that. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I did just now retreat upstairs and hide self in pile of blankets. It's the best idea I've had all day. thaaaankyou.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

PANDA. Thank you, I shall call him George.