Random stuff about how I am thick

[raven]

Dear self,

That thing, where you keep increasing Firefox text size? And the way your head hurts in the morning?

YOU NEED NEW GLASSES.

yours in breathless stupidity,

you.

Ahem. In other news. I am very stupid. I rolled out of bed at half twelve and only then remembered I had to be in work by one. Following which, I was sitting in the shop in the late afternoon, getting error messages and pressing refresh obsessively when the nice people who run the website rang the shop. "Hi!" they said. "Your servers are down!"

"I know that!" I said chirpily back. "I am trying to run a bookshop! Without a computer!"

"Uh-oh," said Assistant Book Monkey's voice behind me, and I turned around to see our thirty-year-old till creak open, shriek impressively and spew almost an entire receipt roll at the ceiling. "I think I broke it."

At which point two annoyingly loud girls opened the door and demanded to do some vox pops for the local paper about the closure of the local police station. Okay, we said, seeing as we have no till and no computer and no customers and indeed, no purpose in life, we'll answer your questions. Of course, I chose this moment to say, dozily, "Formby has a police station?" and before I was quite aware of what was going on I'd been quoted, had my picure taken and been informed that I was going to be in the paper being idiotic.

Sigh. I went back to the computer, which was still emphatically unfunctioning, and banged my head against the window. Over the noise, ABM told the newspaper girls, "She's not always like this. Actually, when she's not here she's at Oxford."

They looked at me and my head-against-window and yards of till roll and said, "You're kidding."

"Yeah," I said, "he is."

Eventually the till was fixed, the servers came back up, a woman came in and bought £120 of book tokens, someone came in and gave us some chocolates, life got better. Things could be worse: I could be at school right now. But I'm still feeling distinctly frazzled today, and I'm not sure why.

Anyway. Enough of me being weird. likethesun2 tagged me to come up with seven odd/quirky things about myself, and here they are:

1. I have an abnormally high heat threshold. I hold mugs of fresh coffee without using the handles, I eat stuff out of pans that are still on the gas, I get called "asbestos fingers" by my flatmates, who shamelessly take advantage of my ability to plunge my hands into boiling water. I undoubtedly get this from my mother, who takes things out of the oven without mitts.

2. Possibly related to the above, I like hot water. I have a well-documented passion for hot baths, but it goes deeper than that. Part of the reason I drink so much coffee is because it means I can have something hot to hold, and seriously, some days, running my hands under a hot tap will cheer me up.

3. I grew up within sight and sound of the sea, and I tend to get twitchy if I have to live in a place a long time without some sort of water nearby. In Oxford the Cherwell and Isis just about suffice, but I miss the sea.

4. This may possibly be surprising to no one at all, but I have a genderfuck kink liek woah. Oddly enough I don't ever feel the urge to try it myself - my gender identity, alas, is straightforwardly female: very staid and boring - but in other people, I find it really, really hot. And of course, it's a narrative kink too. Other people give the world great literature: I give it girl_doctor. And any story, any fandom, I'll wade through any amount of crap for a genderfuck - or genderswap - story.

The only other notable kink I have is impromptu bondage.

5. One of my goals is to visit all seven continents and to trail my toes in all the world's oceans. I'm doing all right - I've done five of the continents, and have resigned myself to the fact I may not be visiting Antarctica any time soon. The oceans are more tricky - I live on the Atlantic shore, which I've seen from both sides, and I've seen the Pacific from Vancouver, and the Indian Ocean from Darwin. Again, polar ice caps are a problem.


6. I'm very easily startled. I hate loud noises and too-bright lights, and if there's enough chaos going on around me, I'll mentally shut down until it becomes quiet again.

7. "Philosophy supernatural nude" is a SHADE OF LIPSTICK. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH PORN.

...sigh. I like using the phrase because it makes me sound I like philosophy, sci-fi/fantasy, art, porn and lipstick - and this is, of course, true. Unfortunately, I got it from Kissing Jessica Stein - oh my god, I hate that movie so much - but still. I think I must've claimed it for my own by now.

Comments

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

South America! I'd love to go there.

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Ah! I was assuming it would be Africa or South America, but then I got confused and wouldn't remember whether South America counted as a separate continent or whether the Americas are one. (I am useless at continents. I'm sure they keep changing how many there are.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

My only South American friend assures me it's a different continent. *g* And I'd actually quite like to see more of Africa - I was in Cairo for a few days, and that's all I've seen of it.

[tau_sigma]

They do, I swear they do! People laugh at me when I say this, but I'm sure when I was in primary school, they told us there were five continents!