and what do you do with a BA in philosophy, too?

[raven]

The train to London from Liverpool Lime Street is probably the busiest service in England. It's usually on time. So I was surprised when it jerked out of the station on the appointed minute, went approximately six metres and rolled to a stop. After a second there was an announcement, somewhat apologetic: "Ladies and gentleman... er... the brakes have failed."

This is a Pendolino tilting train, for reference. It goes at 125 miles per hour round corners. Um.

After a bit, they decided to reset the train, whatever that means. "It will take five to six minutes," said the man, "and all electrical devices on the train will cease to function. We repeat, all electrical devices will cease to-"

The lights went out. There was a pause, and a burst of laughter. There is, I think, a particular type of Scouse humour, and this is it. (On the way back, what sounded like the same guy made an announcement to say: "To the young lady trying to buy wine with a credit card - I've just given the machine a bang with a hammer! Come and get your wine!")

The train actually made up the delay, and I wandered into Euston a few minutes early. I was in London to do some philosophy teaching for a friend - basically, I was helping introduce a bunch of fifteen-year-olds to the subject for the first time, which has its good points and its bad points. The main bad point is, of course, that no one is actually interested in philosophy. It's not something you do at school or see at television, it's not something that ever gets talked about from day to day, and it's very, very hard to get vaguely bored teenagers to care about the nature of mind or whatever.

The good point is that I get to talk about philosophy to a captive audience. I don't think I'm a very good teacher - certainly the yawning could be blamed on the humidity, but maybe not in so much excess - but still. I do love my subject, which has to count for something.

Yesterday night I did something kind of crazy. Sort of, anyway. I guess I should have asked earlier if anyone in London wanted to meet up, but I completely forgot I'd have a free night. I was kicking myself, because it was a beautiful summer and in the last month I've been dying slowly of loneliness, and I was wandering in solitary fashion down the Charing Cross Road and yes. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but I tried to get rush tickets for Rent in New York - I know, I saw it already, but I loved it so much I wanted to see it again - and failed. I didn't know if the same idea existed over here, but I wandered into a theatre to find out and sort of bemusedly ended up with a ticket for Avenue Q. (Not rush, apparently - tickets for students and OAPs. I'm definitely not complaining.)

Is it kinda weird to see a musical on your own? I guess so. But I ended up sitting next to a girl who was also seeing it on her own, and we got to chatting, and that was nice. I loved the show. I didn't think it was laugh-out-loud funny, unlike, er, the entire rest of the theatre, but I enjoyed it. (And even a crap musical - which this certainly wasn't - would've beaten an evening sat on my own.) For some reason, Sesame Street only with porn really, really works. I stopped finding the puppeteers distracting and started finding them impressive, and I actually found bits of the story really poignant. The internet is for porn, it's true. (Which is not to be read as an either an enrdorsement or critcism of LJ's current policy, just to be clear.)

One thing about Avenue Q, though - someone, probably Ben, told me that the West End and Broadway versions are different. Why would this be? The only thing I noticed was that the sign indicating a 15-minute intermission had been scrawled over - "-mission" crossed out and "-val" written in, which amused me, as I just had this picked up in a beta last week.

So I'm glad I did that. Today I was helping teach just war theory, which is interesting enough, and talking about PPE and philosophy in general, and the humidity in the room was killing. Afterwards, I didn't know what to do so I went to Forbidden Planet, which probably sums up my entire life.

Er, what else? I spent the beginning of the week with hathy_col and tau_sigma, and had just a really lovely time. We watched Heroes, and ate so much pick 'n' mix it was getting silly, and then, because it was a lovely summer's day and we were in Britain, we went to Southport and had an authentic seaside experience. Seriously. We went down the pier! We played on ancient arcade machines that told all our fortunes - apparently I'm a romantic (huh!), Colleen's an expert on everything and Tali needs to make better friends(!) - and ate chips with ketchup and mayo, and ice-cream, and wandered through the crappy rides at New Pleasureland and Colleen extolled the joys of Southport. Apparently, allegedly, Paris was based on it.

To which I say: LIES. But it is on the tourism website, which of course has no reason to lie to attract people to this crappy town full of heroin addicts. So I stand corrected.

But, you know, it really was fun. We ended up eating fruit and cheese pizza (advertised as Vegetable Deluxe - but it had olives, cheese, pineapple, tomatoes and peppers on it, and these are ALL FRUITS OMG, and mushrooms are FUNGI) and looking up rubbish on YouTube and Wikipedia, and trying to find the best bits of the Star Trek movies, and watching Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner in varying states of utter ridiculousness.

(I have this lovely memory of staggering around likethesun2's flat in Chicago, killing myself laughing at William Shatner doing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. I like the themes that reoccur in my life.)

And after that, just talking and talking and laughing at rubbish and talking some more. It was lovely. And London was okay, too. I just feel rubbish now, partly because my very busy week is over and partly because I just am rubbish lately. Everything is getting tasteless and plastic again, and the sun highlights everything's edges and doesn't help.

I walked past one of those lovely, antiquated second-hand bookshops on the Charing Cross Road, and went in and bought a battered copy of The Truth, and as I was paying I noticed a sign advertising a job. I thought to myself, I'd have a pretty decent chance of getting that job - I have five A-levels and three years of very relevant experience - and almost asked for an application form. Because wouldn't that be lovely? To just... work in a bookshop. I know I already do. But sometimes I wonder if I haven't already found my calling, and all the rest is silence. Do I need a career? Can't I just work in a bookshop and hide from the world forever?

Clearly it's the part of me that always wants to hide from the world forever that's talking. And I shouldn't spend so much time on my own, because that's how I get like this. But the rest is not silence. I need to start coping.

Comments

[ex-spockette108.livejournal.com]

As far as I know, not having seen the West End version (I've only heard audios), there are a few differences in lyrics, etc.

Like, um, in "It Sucks To Be Me", Christmas Eve sings "tried to work in Korean deli" which is changed in the West End version to "tried to work in Chinese restaurant". I think it's just little things like that, I don't think there's any major differences.

And I haven't sent you RENT yet, I suck, I'm sorry. I haven't been able to go Outside for a while, so I may resort to getting my mother to go the post office for me, 'cause your DVDs are just sitting in a box next to my desk and have been for Quite Some Time.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks! I figured it must be stuff about cultural nuances.

And hey, no worries. It'll be nice to have 'em whenever they arrive. *loves*

[tau_sigma]

*hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish. Remember: you are awesome, 'k?

I don't think it's at all weird to see a musical on your own - I was planning to do that very thing last time I was in London, but there wasn't anything on at a time I could go (I wanted a matinee, and there weren't any, somehow).

And oh, that is nearly what happened to my train when I left you! We got as far as whatever the station between Lime Street and Crewe is, and then the doors wouldn't open and they had to reboot the train and eventually they just told us all to get out and catch the next train! Excitement, kind of. I've never been on a train that's broken down before. ... I'm not sure I want to again, either.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Trains breaking down is BAD. I'm not a demanding person, you know? I always think I'm pretty easy-going. But somehow or other I feel that when I'm on a train, I really want the brakes to work.

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

I did everything alone first time I was in London - musical, the Globe, a BBC tour where I was randomly the only American in a mostly-German group....

I loved the trip, but hopefully next time I can meet up with a few more people. ;)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I loved the trip, but hopefully next time I can meet up with a few more people. ;)

Me, fr'instance? *g*

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

Yes, definitely. :)

I'm so tempted to go again, actually -- just trying to figure out when and if I can afford it.

[tmpe5t.livejournal.com]

Hey! I went to london last week as well, did you see me..? ;-D

[marymac.livejournal.com]

"To the young lady trying to buy wine with a credit card - I've just given the machine a bang with a hammer! Come and get your wine!"

This is why I love the English public transport system so very very much. Translink just don't do that. Also they don't have the tilty trains which are actually the coolest form of transport EVER.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Yes, they are! But a tad cooler when they have brakes, I feel. *g*

[marymac.livejournal.com]

Well yes, there is that. But at least it was entertaining while broken :)

[deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com]

But sometimes I wonder if I haven't already found my calling, and all the rest is silence. Do I need a career? Can't I just work in a bookshop and hide from the world forever?

I have had very similar thoughts about working in a library forever. Now that I'm working towards a DPhil in an esoteric subject, my sideline as a library assistant sometimes seems more meaningful!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I had the official-sounding title of "chairperson of library committee" my last two years of school, and I loved it. I was very keen to do it forever. *g*

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

But sometimes I wonder if I haven't already found my calling, and all the rest is silence. Do I need a career? Can't I just work in a bookshop and hide from the world forever?

I know exactly how you feel. With Publix, I almost have a job for life set up in front of me. I'm good at my job, I like my job, it's simple but keeps me engaged...

But then I consider the rewards of getting my degree (beyond ridiculous debt, of course), of growing as a person, and it makes me hate my job and hate my coworkers and I can't wait until I'm able to do a job that means something. Meet people that are intelligent, do amazing things - that sort of life.

You pretty much already know this, as you said in your last paragraph, but hey! Nothing wrong with knowing you're not alone. :D

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

But then I consider the rewards of getting my degree

Oh, absolutely. I love my degree, I love the life it's given me and it's going to give me. I guess my fear all centres around the fact that you only get three years at Ozford, and mine are almost up. Nine more months of carefree life among the dreaming spires - and then I have to enter the real world and I'm afraid I won't be able to cope.

Tell me about Agnes Scott! I've been meaning to ask you for a while, actually - what's it like, what courses are you going to do? Are you moving out, or staying at home?

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

Nine more months of carefree life among the dreaming spires - and then I have to enter the real world and I'm afraid I won't be able to cope.

That's why American uni is typically four years. We just can't stand the real world.

Agnes is fabulous! It's fairly old; the campus has a trees-that-are-older-than-my-grandparents sort of feel. And an women's college. That part...eh. I've always been very ambivalent about it. It'll be interesting, and it's in Atlanta, so it's not like I'm wearing a chastity belt or whatever.

I have to live there all four years, which I probably would do anyway. You're only allowed to live at home if you live in the metro Atlanta area, which I legally do, but Agnes doesn't seem to believe me. Honestly, getting out of this town is half the appeal of college.

It's a liberal arts college, meaning I don't just take courses relating to my degree (theoretically). I don't have to declare my major until my third year, but more likely than not I'll end up doing English. It just seems right, you know? My courses are also unknown; we register after we move in, August 24th.

That's, uh, mostly it. I'm really bad at describing things.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

One of the Oxford colleges, St. Hilda's, was women-only until this year, and none of the Hildabeasts ever seemed to mind. And living in is the best thing, seriously. Moving away from home was one of the best parts - and it's not like I hate my family or anything like that, it's just... yeah.

I am jealous of anyone who gets to go to a liberal arts college! I do hope you have a lovely time there. :)

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say, because I am all sleep-deprived and utterly devoid of emotional filters after having been on the road since 6 a.m., that I LOVE you and I love this post and I love that you are now apparently quoting Hamlet casually in LJ posts? And also that I frequently go to musicals and/or plays by myself; I find that it's a totally different experience from going in company, and sometimes a better one. It allows you to respond completely on your own terms, if that makes sense. (Example: after I saw Hamlet the second time in Chicago, I walked out of the theater along the shore of Lake Michigan and cried. Ummmm.)

But mostly this is to say I love you, and I missed you this week, and I hope everything gets better. May the world be your bookstore.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

You're back, yay! I missed you! And I am quoting Hamlet randomly and oh my god apparently obsession is contagious. *g* It was certainly an interesting experience, seeing a musical by myself. When I saw Rent, I sort of thought the point of it had passed my companions by, and that detracted from my own experience of it, I think.

I refuse to see Hamlet, by the way, until I can see it with you. *g*

[sebastienne.livejournal.com]

Can't I just work in a bookshop and hide from the world forever?

Replace "bookshop" with "library" and you have my plan for the next few years. Maybe one day I'll be able to go on to the big dreams that I had when I was little, but right now I NEED to hide from the real world for a year or two, for my own mental health. And I'm not ashamed of that. The communes and charities and changing-the-world are still in my future somewhere; just not yet.

By the way, your friends who are in this show are ADORABLE. Though I think I should probably be trying to curb these maternal urges towards B.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*nods* That's a perfectly legitimate life plan. I don't know, I envy people who think so sanely and clearly about the future.

Heee, I'm so glad you like them! Maternal urges - I KNOW. He's one of my best friends, I love him, but I keep having to tell myself OMG stop it he's twenty years old!.

[foulds.livejournal.com]

Yay for finally seeing Avenue Q! Are you coming to Oxford this Friday? You should.

x

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Alas, no! Why must Oxford be so far south? I can't really get down there at the end of this week because I have no money, due to having no job. I'm so sorry I'm going to miss your birthday extravaganza!

[foulds.livejournal.com]

What is it going to take to get you to Oxford this Friday?

[foulds.livejournal.com]

Ok, here we go. A return to Oxford is about £50 any time on National Rail, probably slightly less with a railcard (which everybody but me seems to have). I will split the cost of that ticket with you; get to Oxford, and I'll pay you back half the cost of the return.

Now come on and say yes. It's £25 for the travel now, and I'm buying the drinks when you get here.

[foulds.livejournal.com]

AND Oxford on that day will be full of lovely joyful people, and it will be good.

[foulds.livejournal.com]

Tsch, same icon three times. How dull. This icon is much brighter and smilier