In which I am ill and pathetic. Woe.

[raven]

Guys^[1], help a girl out? I'm miserably ill and dozy and incapable of forming linear thought processes and my flatmates are either working or at a Pinter play - to which I was invited, but at the time I couldn't force myself outside - and now I am boooored. That said, I am a good person as I have written 1,658 words about abstract ideas in Locke. Yay me.

So, darlings - amuse me please. Tell me something random, scribble the crackfic drabble that always seemed a bad idea until now, make up a fake memory of something we did together, ask me a question, inform me of something you think I should know, post a cool pic.

Pleeeeeease. I am ill and miserable and I'm having to trek to Sainsbury's to find something made of actual food. Be nice to me, I am making pathetic eyes at you. See? Like that. Woooooooe.

---

[1] Gender-neutral liek woah.

Comments

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

I'm not feeling terribly amusing but if you haven't gone already I'll do your shopping for you. Am coming into town shortly anyway.

*peruses bookmarks*

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

I apologise if I got any of these links from you.

Look! A kitten! (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8950674534921141944&q=kitten)

A Jesus!fishcake that, it has been correctly pointed out, looks suspiciously like Joss Whedon (http://pics.livejournal.com/gypsyjr/pic/00783e84).

Librariiiies. (http://thenonist.com/index.php/thenonist/permalink/hot_library_smut/)

What Noam Chomsky and Howard Zimm's DVD commentaries would sound like (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/04/22fellowship.html).

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

And if you haven't heard, Life on Mars is starting again on the 13th!! Though I will miss the first episode as am seeing Regina Spektor. Buggery.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Damn, should have checked my lj flist earlier, for lo, I am bored also and have been annoying people on MSN. Let us exchange lj comments if nothing else.

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

Humphrey Bogart and Princess Diana were seventh cousins.


Dude, seriously. Think about it for long enough and the walls will start talking to you.

P.S. Sky is going to be my marketing manager next term. He's as much of a hack as he says he is, right? Hope so.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you for offfering, dear, but is done, thankfully. Yay for Sainsbury's Local.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Eeeeee! This, I did not know! Curses! I must find a television!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

...whoa. That is awesome. *ponders on genealogy*

And, omg, SUCH A HACK. He hadn't been back in Ox five minutes before he was hacking with the best of them. I say this through the haze of my love for him, but such a drama queen. *pets him*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Indeed! Please tell me how to finish my XF epic... I am strongly considering "and then they all fell down dead" as my closing scene.

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

We have one here! Though as mentioned I will not be in to watch the first ep, you and all other interested parties are entirely welcome on subsequent weeks. Same goes for DW, whenever that reappears...

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Eeee, yay! *bounces round room in sickly and poorly fashion*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Well, that does have a certain narrative strength, but I fear it might be overly depressing to the unsuspecting reader. On the other hand, it might be better than "and then they got married and liver happily ever after."

What's your current last scene?

[tau_sigma]

*hugs* I, too, am ill (admittedly, not terribly ill), and it sucks. *dances to amuse you* Umm. Remember that time we were arrested for streaking outside 10 Downing Street? And bribed the police with pick'n'mix?

I think you should know that I'm continually upending a tin of red salmon, and it makes the most awful noises. Clearly that knowledge will enrich your life.

Ooh! Did you know that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be out on 21st July? Probably you know, but if not, there you go.

I may make it to MSN later if you're still bored (I'm at home, hence actual internet connection), but I feel a bit too incoherant for speech in real time at the moment. :s Sorry. I send ye flowers of icon-ness.

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

This is VERY GOOD, re: Sky. Because srsly, I need someone to hack the hell out of the entire city.

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

I, too, am ill and today I was advised by Postdoc Matt to drink as much water and tea as humanly possible. "Of course," he added with an evil smirk, "it'd be best not to stray too far from the toilet..."

Needlessly to say, I have not taken his advice but I offer it to you anyway.

Why Indiana Jones didn't get tenure (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/10bryan.html)

[amchau.livejournal.com]

I have just re-read my comment above and realised my little typo. Imagine, if you will, a liver, so large that it goes on for ever. It may be an alien liver. In any case, it lasts forever; Mulder and Scully eat liver for breakfast, liver for lunch, liver for dinner, liver in their coffee, liver in their shampoo, and it never ends. Eventually, they realised that with the aid of a photon destablisier which moves the liver into a mid-dimension, they can use it to block the hole they kept falling through.

There's a bad smell in the 17th dimension, but hyperintelligent shades of the colour blue have no noses, so it doesn't matter.

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

I guess you've probably already been but if not, go to the sandwich-y section and look to see if they have the small pack of cocktail sausages with a tomato ketchup dip. I had it today and it was ace in a little kiddy type way.

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...I'm a little old to be amusing but I'd drop in with some homemade tea and cookies if I could. Or better yet, chocolate covered strawberries. It's strawberry season here in Florida and so even the smallest of groceries have the little buggers, dipped in dark chocolate and lightly dusted with powdered sugar.

Or I could invite you over to watch my two silly lab crosses bounce in and out of the huge puddles left by the serious storm we had. There are places in my yard deep enough to wade in and they like taking a flying leap before planting in them face first.

If that's not to your liking, you could just watch me trying to cook. I guarantee you, it's hilarious because I misplace things and leave them in stupid place. Last time, my glasses were in the freezer, the pot holders had been stuffed into the rice cooker, and the cats were making away with a very expensive piece of meat I'd been trying to soak in wine.

Hope you feel better!

[thecapitalc.livejournal.com]

I rambled on to a friend of mine the other day about how I stood and worshipped at the shrine of cleaning products in Tesco. When having lunch with her today she said 'Ah, Ching; I have a weird present for you...'

*exit said friend to her room*

*enter said friend with a bottle of Flash*

*Cue much excited squealing and general glee from me as I can now clean my kitchen floor thankyouverymuch :D*

[deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see.

Here (http://s24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/deepbluemermaid/NZ/) are some photos of where I grew up in New Zealand. I vaguely recall that you live near the sea; I hope that seeing my beach doesn't make you too homesick for yours!

Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurelian_walls) is a Wikipedia article about Rome's ancient city walls, large sections of which are still standing. I just love the walls, the gates, the turrets, and the remaining sections of aqueduct. They send shivers up my spine! No idea whether you're interested in classics or ancient history or architecture, but there are some pretty pictures there.

Here (http://www.hosteltraveler.com/services/reservation/view_destination.php?dest=Hotel%20Diablo&searchregion=Milan&subcontinent=Italy&PHPSESSID=0d0d5d16c5985fc487856518389c449e) is one of my favourite examples of mangled Italglish. It's painfully & hilariously obvious that it was translated by someone with little or no English!

Finally, http://www.techcomedy.com/. The stories can be hilarious in isolation, and the comment conversations can be pure geeky gold. In my 10-or-so years of working in bookshops, music shops & libraries, I rarely had such bad customers as these tech support people apparently do.

I hope you feel better soon!

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I have a Crackfic Drabble in my head, except it massively spoilers for Doctor Who. Woe. Ah well.

In terms of FACTS THAT ARE INTERESTING I can tell you that to empty a molehill of moles, you have to play singing birthday cards at the them. THIS IS TRUE, YO.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Well. You cannot say I didn't warn you. You cannot say, a month from now, "omg Iona why didn't you tell me we would fall into a BLACK HOLE OF HACKERY", because I did.

Bless him, really. :)

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

Dude he had BETTER. I need this show to do well so that I can spend ALL THE MONIES college has EVER HAD on my production of A Winter's Tale, my FINAL FLOURISH of WIT AND BRILLIANCE BEFORE FINALS EATS ME, and also to prove I am BETTER than, than, like, all the people who have ever for the sake of my artistic integrity.

I have not seen you for years.

Woe.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I remember! And we would have been arrested* anyway if you hadn't kicked the man in the goolies and made off with the foam bananas.

Harry Potter YAY! Except no yay, because it will be over, and Remus Lupin will most likely be DEAD. Seriously. You don't get over a ten-year crush that easily. Sigh.

*That was my third attempt at spelling it. Too many Rs.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it is appreciated. Water and tea have been quite the fixture of my day, too.

Aha, that is awesome! I hadn't seen that one before. In return, I can offer Why God never got tenure (http://www.yorku.ca/hjackman/Mis/god.html).