In which I am ill and pathetic. Woe.

[raven]

Guys^[1], help a girl out? I'm miserably ill and dozy and incapable of forming linear thought processes and my flatmates are either working or at a Pinter play - to which I was invited, but at the time I couldn't force myself outside - and now I am boooored. That said, I am a good person as I have written 1,658 words about abstract ideas in Locke. Yay me.

So, darlings - amuse me please. Tell me something random, scribble the crackfic drabble that always seemed a bad idea until now, make up a fake memory of something we did together, ask me a question, inform me of something you think I should know, post a cool pic.

Pleeeeeease. I am ill and miserable and I'm having to trek to Sainsbury's to find something made of actual food. Be nice to me, I am making pathetic eyes at you. See? Like that. Woooooooe.

---

[1] Gender-neutral liek woah.

Comments

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

I'm not feeling terribly amusing but if you haven't gone already I'll do your shopping for you. Am coming into town shortly anyway.

*peruses bookmarks*

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

I apologise if I got any of these links from you.

Look! A kitten! (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8950674534921141944&q=kitten)

A Jesus!fishcake that, it has been correctly pointed out, looks suspiciously like Joss Whedon (http://pics.livejournal.com/gypsyjr/pic/00783e84).

Librariiiies. (http://thenonist.com/index.php/thenonist/permalink/hot_library_smut/)

What Noam Chomsky and Howard Zimm's DVD commentaries would sound like (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/04/22fellowship.html).

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you for offfering, dear, but is done, thankfully. Yay for Sainsbury's Local.

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

And if you haven't heard, Life on Mars is starting again on the 13th!! Though I will miss the first episode as am seeing Regina Spektor. Buggery.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Eeeeee! This, I did not know! Curses! I must find a television!

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Damn, should have checked my lj flist earlier, for lo, I am bored also and have been annoying people on MSN. Let us exchange lj comments if nothing else.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Indeed! Please tell me how to finish my XF epic... I am strongly considering "and then they all fell down dead" as my closing scene.

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

Humphrey Bogart and Princess Diana were seventh cousins.


Dude, seriously. Think about it for long enough and the walls will start talking to you.

P.S. Sky is going to be my marketing manager next term. He's as much of a hack as he says he is, right? Hope so.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

...whoa. That is awesome. *ponders on genealogy*

And, omg, SUCH A HACK. He hadn't been back in Ox five minutes before he was hacking with the best of them. I say this through the haze of my love for him, but such a drama queen. *pets him*

[tau_sigma]

*hugs* I, too, am ill (admittedly, not terribly ill), and it sucks. *dances to amuse you* Umm. Remember that time we were arrested for streaking outside 10 Downing Street? And bribed the police with pick'n'mix?

I think you should know that I'm continually upending a tin of red salmon, and it makes the most awful noises. Clearly that knowledge will enrich your life.

Ooh! Did you know that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be out on 21st July? Probably you know, but if not, there you go.

I may make it to MSN later if you're still bored (I'm at home, hence actual internet connection), but I feel a bit too incoherant for speech in real time at the moment. :s Sorry. I send ye flowers of icon-ness.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I remember! And we would have been arrested* anyway if you hadn't kicked the man in the goolies and made off with the foam bananas.

Harry Potter YAY! Except no yay, because it will be over, and Remus Lupin will most likely be DEAD. Seriously. You don't get over a ten-year crush that easily. Sigh.

*That was my third attempt at spelling it. Too many Rs.

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

I, too, am ill and today I was advised by Postdoc Matt to drink as much water and tea as humanly possible. "Of course," he added with an evil smirk, "it'd be best not to stray too far from the toilet..."

Needlessly to say, I have not taken his advice but I offer it to you anyway.

Why Indiana Jones didn't get tenure (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/10/10bryan.html)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, it is appreciated. Water and tea have been quite the fixture of my day, too.

Aha, that is awesome! I hadn't seen that one before. In return, I can offer Why God never got tenure (http://www.yorku.ca/hjackman/Mis/god.html).

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

I guess you've probably already been but if not, go to the sandwich-y section and look to see if they have the small pack of cocktail sausages with a tomato ketchup dip. I had it today and it was ace in a little kiddy type way.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I have indeed already been, but thank you for the tip. I'll try it next time I need milk.

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...I'm a little old to be amusing but I'd drop in with some homemade tea and cookies if I could. Or better yet, chocolate covered strawberries. It's strawberry season here in Florida and so even the smallest of groceries have the little buggers, dipped in dark chocolate and lightly dusted with powdered sugar.

Or I could invite you over to watch my two silly lab crosses bounce in and out of the huge puddles left by the serious storm we had. There are places in my yard deep enough to wade in and they like taking a flying leap before planting in them face first.

If that's not to your liking, you could just watch me trying to cook. I guarantee you, it's hilarious because I misplace things and leave them in stupid place. Last time, my glasses were in the freezer, the pot holders had been stuffed into the rice cooker, and the cats were making away with a very expensive piece of meat I'd been trying to soak in wine.

Hope you feel better!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hey, no way. No one's too old to be amusing! Molly Ivins, another great lady from Texas (http://www.dfw.com/mld/startelegram/news/columnists/molly_ivins/16595619.htm), was funny until the day she died! :) (I've been reading a lot of her columns today, and plenty of them are these sharply affectionate tributes to her beloved Texas. Made me think of you.)

Homemade tea and cookies sound so good right now. As do Labs jumping out of puddles. I hate to ask, but how did you find your glasses again? :)

[thecapitalc.livejournal.com]

I rambled on to a friend of mine the other day about how I stood and worshipped at the shrine of cleaning products in Tesco. When having lunch with her today she said 'Ah, Ching; I have a weird present for you...'

*exit said friend to her room*

*enter said friend with a bottle of Flash*

*Cue much excited squealing and general glee from me as I can now clean my kitchen floor thankyouverymuch :D*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ching. You are an extraordinary human being. Does that mean your idea of perfect happiness is a Toilet Duck?

[deepbluemermaid.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see.

Here (http://s24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/deepbluemermaid/NZ/) are some photos of where I grew up in New Zealand. I vaguely recall that you live near the sea; I hope that seeing my beach doesn't make you too homesick for yours!

Here (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurelian_walls) is a Wikipedia article about Rome's ancient city walls, large sections of which are still standing. I just love the walls, the gates, the turrets, and the remaining sections of aqueduct. They send shivers up my spine! No idea whether you're interested in classics or ancient history or architecture, but there are some pretty pictures there.

Here (http://www.hosteltraveler.com/services/reservation/view_destination.php?dest=Hotel%20Diablo&searchregion=Milan&subcontinent=Italy&PHPSESSID=0d0d5d16c5985fc487856518389c449e) is one of my favourite examples of mangled Italglish. It's painfully & hilariously obvious that it was translated by someone with little or no English!

Finally, http://www.techcomedy.com/. The stories can be hilarious in isolation, and the comment conversations can be pure geeky gold. In my 10-or-so years of working in bookshops, music shops & libraries, I rarely had such bad customers as these tech support people apparently do.

I hope you feel better soon!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, my god. Those are beautiful. I live on the Irish Sea coast, which is bleak and occasionally beautiful, but it doesn't have that gorgeous blue-sky appeal of yours. Wow. I must visit NZ some day.

I had no idea Rome still had standing city walls! I've learned something. (As well as "easy to come to by superficial means or underground." Who knew? Heeeee.)

And, aha, I'd never seen that site before. Yay, procrastination!

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

I have a Crackfic Drabble in my head, except it massively spoilers for Doctor Who. Woe. Ah well.

In terms of FACTS THAT ARE INTERESTING I can tell you that to empty a molehill of moles, you have to play singing birthday cards at the them. THIS IS TRUE, YO.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

For DW? But I have seen it all! Haven't I? They didn't restart it without telling me, did they?

SRSLY? Birthday cards? That is awesome.

[emerald-embers.livejournal.com]

1) Is the Viet Cong real, and is it in Vietnam? It's one of those questions I feel may amuse someone with it's stupidity and I figure I'd rather amuse you than amuse myself by looking it up on google maps or something. Still can't believe Timbucktoo is real.

I knew Kazackhstan (sod spelling) though, so PRIDE.

2) Hm... crackfic drabble... how many fandoms of yours do I know? Approximately 2.

...

*thinks some more*

Ah-ha!

~~~

Remus had to say - Mr. Fell did make an excellent cup of tea, even if he couldn't recall the moment Mr. Fell had brought out the cups. Or left the room, in fact. Part of him wanted to look around for a kettle, but something comforting in the air told him he was better off leaving things be and amusing himself with the sight before him.

Snake versus dog was an intriguing battle in and of itself, although he was perplexed as to what species the snake actually was; he just... just didn't recognise that form, not from any of his books, and he'd always been rather fond of reptiles so it was a bit of a pity. More intriguing was the fact the snake was speaking english; either that or he'd woken up knowing parseltongue after several years of being creeped out by the other sods who did, and he was doubting that. Why a snake speaking english was more comforting than waking up knowing parseltongue was a little beyond him, but Remus was a man content to let himself be mildly puzzled.

Mr. Fell was taking everything quite well, all things considered that he had an oversized snake in his shop that Padfoot had immediately gone for until finding him... it... dogself being savaged back by a very well spoken if rather foul mouthed snake that was as likely a biological snake as Sirius was a biological dog.

"So. What do you call the snake?"

"Mmmolllyy" hissed the snake around a mouthful of canine neck.

"A pain in the backside," Mr. Fell siged, before offering Remus a plate of biscuits from...

Remus let that slide too.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, marvellous. Poor Remus, getting his head messed with. Although I'm sure he'll cotton eventually, and he and Aziraphale will get on very well indeed. Thank you!

[ressie-noldo.livejournal.com]

I am fabulously unfunny today, and I don't think you're particularly in the mood for Terrible Science Puns, but were you aware that there were Cybermen in a recent Supernatural episode? (Well, they were on a magazine cover, really. But the camera focused on it and everything.)

Also, scientists create world's largest novelty atom (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_create_largest_novelty_atom). (I have been linking everyone that I know to this, in the hope that someone who isn't me will find it funny.)

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

This (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44683) is my current favourite Onion article...particularly in light of all the Naked Dan Radcliffe pictures flooding the internet :P

[sir-rosealot.livejournal.com]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38699

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Heee. I liked that one.

[outintherain.livejournal.com]

Erm hello! *waves awkwardly*

Noticed your Scully icon in one of mettanna's posts... curiosity led me here!

So I'm friending you... even though I promise myself anew each day that I will spend *less* time on LJ... but you sound interesting... and I was supposed to go to Oxford so I'm curious as to what it's like...

You don't have to friend me back... I ramble like woah, but I do try to be interesting... try being the operative word... although I suppose I must be intersting sometimes...

I even ramble in comments, oh dear...

Anyway, I hope you're feeling better!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hello! Nice to meet you, and I hope you do find me interesting. I ramble mostly about Oxford these days, but a bit about fandom as well. I think the combination works, as they are equally crazy environments. :)