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Various and sundry
Jun. 29th, 2006 03:04 pmOkay. Um. I am crazy... but. I went to my old school a couple of days ago and had a quiet word and sit-down with some of my old teachers, most of whom were pleased to see me, and Made Some Arrangements.
And it seems that I am taking my AS Mathematics in January, yes. I have dropped economics from PPE and now have no need of maths ever again, but, well, I always did have a streak of academic masochism. There are reasons, though. And here they are, numbered, for ease of reference when I later wonder loudly what on earth I was thinking.
1. I could pass it off the top of my head. This is actually true. Not only have I done a lot of maths this year, the AS is designed to carry on from the GCSE Intermediate paper, not Higher. I did my Higher in 2003, but tutored students (including![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hathy_col's sister) in Intermediate for the next two years and did lots and lots of maths this year. If I sat a paper under exam conditions right now, I'd probably get a D or an E. Which is, hey, a pass. If I did some work, I'd like to make that an A, which is more like it.
2. I did, as mentioned above, lots and lots of maths this year. Lots. And I messed up the maths question on my Economics prelim and had many a temper tantrum over it. But I did all that work, and I wouldn't like to see it go to waste. If I get some sort of academic recognition that I did all that maths and I did okay in it, then it won't have gone to waste.
3. This is the most important reason. I hate being rubbish at maths. I hate it. And here's the thing: before my GCSEs, right until sixth form, I wasn't that bad at it. I got top grades for my GCSE, I picked up bits 'n' bobs about natural logs for my science A-levels. And although I did so badly this year, I did go from not knowing the meaning of the word to partial differentiation within ten days. I'm not stupid. I'm not a very good mathematician, due to lack of natural talent, but I've never had any decent systematic, here-are-the-basics training. This will be a chance to see how well I can do if I only teach myself, at my own pace. I'm entertaining hopes that I'll exhibit average competency and get an A grade without panicking that I'm rubbish.
4. I'd be doing it for me. Just for me. So if I screw it up, it doesn't matter, I haven't lost anything, and if I do well, then I'll have done well and can feel rather better about myself. Besides, Bob always tells me that I have no intellectual credibility as long as I have no ability to think mathematically. He may be right - maybe - and I'd be going some way to putting that right.
I have a pet theory that maths at Balliol is phenomenonally badly-taught. If I can get this AS in six months, and do well in it, then I can prove that point. We shall see. As it stands, I am planning to take the first two core modules and the first stats one midway through January, at Merchants' - it will mean coming up north for a couple of days from Oxford, but worth it, if I've got my old teachers' help - having done a fortnight's proper work during the Christmas holiday.
So, yes. We shall see if I am crazy or not. I hope not.
In other news, it was good to see them all again. Now that I am not one of their students, they seem to be quite happy bickering incessantly in front of me - I happened to mention that Sarah, an old school friend doing Chemistry, got a distinction (I spotted her name up outside Exam Schools), and was treated to Mrs Custard and Mrs Colvin in full flow ("She should have done Physics!" "No, Chemistry is a far nobler science!" "Only if that means exploding custard powder!" "What?" "Deaf as a post!" "What did you say?" "I said, 'YOU'RE AS DEAF AS A POST!") and was reminded of how much I miss them. School seems smaller. It's a cliché, but it's true. I still miss them all.
Um. What else? My exciting life continues. Yesterday I spent the afternoon withhathy_col, ostensibly to watch Hartnell-era Who but we sort of forgot about it and instead chatted continuously for four and a half hours. ( Also... )
Other things what are of the good - I've got my old job back. I'll be in and out of the bookshop over the next few weeks, around writing my quote-unquote extended essay on twentieth-century feminism and ocasionally going to the gym. And, um, getting ready for my driving test omg panic.
Also in news of omg panic, I have a ficathon fic to write in the next two days. Um, oops? I think I should go and do that now. But also, before I go, I haven't yet closed sign-ups, and won't for a little while yet, so you still have seven hours to sign for the Tenth Doctor ficathon. Go forth and sign up!
And it seems that I am taking my AS Mathematics in January, yes. I have dropped economics from PPE and now have no need of maths ever again, but, well, I always did have a streak of academic masochism. There are reasons, though. And here they are, numbered, for ease of reference when I later wonder loudly what on earth I was thinking.
1. I could pass it off the top of my head. This is actually true. Not only have I done a lot of maths this year, the AS is designed to carry on from the GCSE Intermediate paper, not Higher. I did my Higher in 2003, but tutored students (including
hathy_col's sister) in Intermediate for the next two years and did lots and lots of maths this year. If I sat a paper under exam conditions right now, I'd probably get a D or an E. Which is, hey, a pass. If I did some work, I'd like to make that an A, which is more like it.2. I did, as mentioned above, lots and lots of maths this year. Lots. And I messed up the maths question on my Economics prelim and had many a temper tantrum over it. But I did all that work, and I wouldn't like to see it go to waste. If I get some sort of academic recognition that I did all that maths and I did okay in it, then it won't have gone to waste.
3. This is the most important reason. I hate being rubbish at maths. I hate it. And here's the thing: before my GCSEs, right until sixth form, I wasn't that bad at it. I got top grades for my GCSE, I picked up bits 'n' bobs about natural logs for my science A-levels. And although I did so badly this year, I did go from not knowing the meaning of the word to partial differentiation within ten days. I'm not stupid. I'm not a very good mathematician, due to lack of natural talent, but I've never had any decent systematic, here-are-the-basics training. This will be a chance to see how well I can do if I only teach myself, at my own pace. I'm entertaining hopes that I'll exhibit average competency and get an A grade without panicking that I'm rubbish.
4. I'd be doing it for me. Just for me. So if I screw it up, it doesn't matter, I haven't lost anything, and if I do well, then I'll have done well and can feel rather better about myself. Besides, Bob always tells me that I have no intellectual credibility as long as I have no ability to think mathematically. He may be right - maybe - and I'd be going some way to putting that right.
I have a pet theory that maths at Balliol is phenomenonally badly-taught. If I can get this AS in six months, and do well in it, then I can prove that point. We shall see. As it stands, I am planning to take the first two core modules and the first stats one midway through January, at Merchants' - it will mean coming up north for a couple of days from Oxford, but worth it, if I've got my old teachers' help - having done a fortnight's proper work during the Christmas holiday.
So, yes. We shall see if I am crazy or not. I hope not.
In other news, it was good to see them all again. Now that I am not one of their students, they seem to be quite happy bickering incessantly in front of me - I happened to mention that Sarah, an old school friend doing Chemistry, got a distinction (I spotted her name up outside Exam Schools), and was treated to Mrs Custard and Mrs Colvin in full flow ("She should have done Physics!" "No, Chemistry is a far nobler science!" "Only if that means exploding custard powder!" "What?" "Deaf as a post!" "What did you say?" "I said, 'YOU'RE AS DEAF AS A POST!") and was reminded of how much I miss them. School seems smaller. It's a cliché, but it's true. I still miss them all.
Um. What else? My exciting life continues. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with
hathy_col, ostensibly to watch Hartnell-era Who but we sort of forgot about it and instead chatted continuously for four and a half hours. ( Also... ) Other things what are of the good - I've got my old job back. I'll be in and out of the bookshop over the next few weeks, around writing my quote-unquote extended essay on twentieth-century feminism and ocasionally going to the gym. And, um, getting ready for my driving test omg panic.
Also in news of omg panic, I have a ficathon fic to write in the next two days. Um, oops? I think I should go and do that now. But also, before I go, I haven't yet closed sign-ups, and won't for a little while yet, so you still have seven hours to sign for the Tenth Doctor ficathon. Go forth and sign up!
