Various and sundry

[raven]

Okay. Um. I am crazy... but. I went to my old school a couple of days ago and had a quiet word and sit-down with some of my old teachers, most of whom were pleased to see me, and Made Some Arrangements.

And it seems that I am taking my AS Mathematics in January, yes. I have dropped economics from PPE and now have no need of maths ever again, but, well, I always did have a streak of academic masochism. There are reasons, though. And here they are, numbered, for ease of reference when I later wonder loudly what on earth I was thinking.

1. I could pass it off the top of my head. This is actually true. Not only have I done a lot of maths this year, the AS is designed to carry on from the GCSE Intermediate paper, not Higher. I did my Higher in 2003, but tutored students (including hathy_col's sister) in Intermediate for the next two years and did lots and lots of maths this year. If I sat a paper under exam conditions right now, I'd probably get a D or an E. Which is, hey, a pass. If I did some work, I'd like to make that an A, which is more like it.

2. I did, as mentioned above, lots and lots of maths this year. Lots. And I messed up the maths question on my Economics prelim and had many a temper tantrum over it. But I did all that work, and I wouldn't like to see it go to waste. If I get some sort of academic recognition that I did all that maths and I did okay in it, then it won't have gone to waste.

3. This is the most important reason. I hate being rubbish at maths. I hate it. And here's the thing: before my GCSEs, right until sixth form, I wasn't that bad at it. I got top grades for my GCSE, I picked up bits 'n' bobs about natural logs for my science A-levels. And although I did so badly this year, I did go from not knowing the meaning of the word to partial differentiation within ten days. I'm not stupid. I'm not a very good mathematician, due to lack of natural talent, but I've never had any decent systematic, here-are-the-basics training. This will be a chance to see how well I can do if I only teach myself, at my own pace. I'm entertaining hopes that I'll exhibit average competency and get an A grade without panicking that I'm rubbish.

4. I'd be doing it for me. Just for me. So if I screw it up, it doesn't matter, I haven't lost anything, and if I do well, then I'll have done well and can feel rather better about myself. Besides, Bob always tells me that I have no intellectual credibility as long as I have no ability to think mathematically. He may be right - maybe - and I'd be going some way to putting that right.

I have a pet theory that maths at Balliol is phenomenonally badly-taught. If I can get this AS in six months, and do well in it, then I can prove that point. We shall see. As it stands, I am planning to take the first two core modules and the first stats one midway through January, at Merchants' - it will mean coming up north for a couple of days from Oxford, but worth it, if I've got my old teachers' help - having done a fortnight's proper work during the Christmas holiday.

So, yes. We shall see if I am crazy or not. I hope not.

In other news, it was good to see them all again. Now that I am not one of their students, they seem to be quite happy bickering incessantly in front of me - I happened to mention that Sarah, an old school friend doing Chemistry, got a distinction (I spotted her name up outside Exam Schools), and was treated to Mrs Custard and Mrs Colvin in full flow ("She should have done Physics!" "No, Chemistry is a far nobler science!" "Only if that means exploding custard powder!" "What?" "Deaf as a post!" "What did you say?" "I said, 'YOU'RE AS DEAF AS A POST!") and was reminded of how much I miss them. School seems smaller. It's a cliché, but it's true. I still miss them all.

Um. What else? My exciting life continues. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with hathy_col, ostensibly to watch Hartnell-era Who but we sort of forgot about it and instead chatted continuously for four and a half hours. (And she asked me to be her bridesmaid omg! This requires my not leaving the country in the early part of 2010 and also potentially being dressed in lime green, but still, yay!)

Other things what are of the good - I've got my old job back. I'll be in and out of the bookshop over the next few weeks, around writing my quote-unquote extended essay on twentieth-century feminism and ocasionally going to the gym. And, um, getting ready for my driving test omg panic.

Also in news of omg panic, I have a ficathon fic to write in the next two days. Um, oops? I think I should go and do that now. But also, before I go, I haven't yet closed sign-ups, and won't for a little while yet, so you still have seven hours to sign for the Tenth Doctor ficathon. Go forth and sign up!

Comments

[julianelupin.livejournal.com]

Good luck on all of this, but especially on the driving test. Driving is WONDERFUL!

But, of course, I have to say that, because I'm a Queen of the Highway and I rule my court with Roadtrips. So. XD

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Heee! I love driving. Love it. I just want that bit of plastic that lets me drive on my own!

[tau_sigma]

You are crazy, yes. *g* But if you can do partial differentiation, you ought to have no problem with AS Maths, so good luck with it, and with your driving test, oh goodness. And with the potentially being dressed in lime green in the future. *g*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I hope I can get to grips with it all in time. (And ohgod lime green. Or orange. Or some variety of magenta.)

[parrot-knight.livejournal.com]

Way back in the distant past when a generation of new-blooded sixth formers were recovering from 'O' Levels, I was urged by my head of sixth form and head of house to do 'A' Level maths. I didn't, although might have done if I could have done four or five subjects. Good for you in taking up the AS Level.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Heee. :)

[le-parapluie.livejournal.com]

I hate being rubbish at maths. I hate it.

Well, it doesn't sound like you're total rubbish, but yes, I can relate to the feeling.

Best of luck with your driving test. I'm sure you'll do just fine.

[le-parapluie.livejournal.com]

p.s.

Your former teachers crack me up.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much.

(And yes, they crack me up too!)

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

Good luck with all that. I sometimes wonder about doing more maths exams (I got as far as AO, after taking the O Level a year before everything became GCSEs), then dropped it in favour of physics (mostly due to teacher preference).

So you're just doing Politics and Philosophy now? Or am I missing something?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *g* Yes, just Politics and Philosophy, unless I have a change of heart in the next six months or so. I'm still a PPEist in name, though. :)

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

Allow me to be the only person to go Eeeeee bridesmaid! [honestly does not have mind only on one thing, oh no]

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hee! Myself, I'm not really excited about the actual being-a-bridesmaid part but more about, eee, she asked me. And, hey, we're talking 2010.