Collectormania 7 - the con report

Collectormania 7, kids. I am no con virgin, me – this is my fourth, and Clare’s fifth and Colleen’s sixth – however, we took Enid and Hannah along this time in order to pop their con-cherries, as Colleen so delightfully put it. So I give you the ordinary cast list – Colleen and Clare are hathy_col and osiris13, the Lesbian Odd Couple and along with me, the original Convention Three (as Clare said, Enid Blyton just never got around to writing about us), Enid and Hannah are balthaser and purplerainbow and the convention n00bs.

There are others, of course – day-guests and Americans and other aliens – but that’s where we begin.

Friday - “A friend with breasts and all the rest / A friend who’s dressed in leather...”

I tell most people who ask that I live in Liverpool, but that isn’t actually the case; I live in a small coastal village about fifteen miles north. Because we all do live fairly far apart, we met at Conway Park at four o’clock precisely, except for Colleen who got stuck at Hamilton Square, and were on the road by half past, complete with loud music and achingly beautiful sunshine.

As usual, the con was in Milton Keynes. I know I do this every time, but I’m now going to quote Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman yet again:

“Note for Americans and other aliens: Milton Keynes is a new city approximately halfway between London and Birmingham. It was built to be a modern, efficient, healthy and, all in all, pleasant place to live. Many Britons find this amusing.”

( As did we )

Saturday - The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Radio Telescopes

In a twist of weirdness quite unmatched before or since, we got up before the alarm. Colleen was first to launch herself at the shower while someone else made a cup of coffee and wafted it under my nose before disappearing. I sat up to look at a curiously dreamlike, early-morning grey room, muttering, “Coffee. Coffee.”

( Coffee. )

( Doctor Who – Dalek )

( Afterwards )

Sunday - Gallifrey go BOOM!

Getting up the next morning was a struggle. It was grey and dark again, with even more people fighting to use the bathroom (this time I had a toothbrush; Hannah bought me one because I am hopeless) and we had to clean up the debris from the night before and all the crap we’d acquired had to be stashed and tidied away. As well as that, we didn’t all fit into Ron, so Enid and Simon went to grab a taxi while the rest of us got vaguely lost on the way to the place.

( They didn’t open up until nine )

“Boom,” I said. “It was fab.”

And it was.

Edited to add: "Gallifrey go BOOM and Gallifrey should stay gone BOOM but if a Dalek slipped through when Gallifrey went BOOM then maybe there are some survivors even though Gallifrey go BOOM because then the Doctor will have fellow Gallifreyans and Gallifrey still stays BOOM!" - hathy_col, quoting taraljc.

Edited again: I may as well reproduce Colleen's footnotes here, as they are very useful regarding the con, the fandom and the Colleen Show in general:

the TARDIS: The TARDIS is a spaceship. It travels through space and time and its acronym is for Time And Relative Distance In Space. It is disguised as a blue box - to be precise, a 1950s style police call box. They don't exist in Britain anymore, but remember that this fandom has been going since 196something. Oh, the lead actor 'regenerates' every time the Doctor dies - we're on the ninth Doctor now (if you take it strictly from the Beeb shows) if you were wondering how it's lasted that long.

By the way, the TARDIS looks like the size of a garden shed on the outside. On the inside, it's massive.

Daleks: A Dalek is arguably the most memorable bad guy from Doctor Who, more recogniseable than the Doctor himself and a big British tradition. They even had two seperate films from the Beeb - Doctor Who And The Daleks and Genesis Of The Daleks. They look like pepper pots with plungers attached and were never scary until you see an episode with them in. They are robots, basically, and speak in weird robotic voices.

Jellybabies: The fourth Doctor - mine and Iona's second favourite Doctor - was obsessed with jelly babies. See the icon.

Dalek Virginity: the state of being when one has never seen an episode with a Dalek in it.

Jaffa: Jaffas are the minions of the Goa'uld in my First Ever Fandom - Stargate SG-1. Jaffa Cakes are an amazingly British thing - basically, these things with a cake base, orange topping and plain chocolate over them all. They are TOO NICE.

the Dance of Backstory: "Numfar! Do the Dance of Joy!" It's an Angel reference - it's basically a dance from a dimension with no music. It's an appalling dance.

End footnotes. I am a geek.