Bored. Ugh. Silverchair.
Mar. 4th, 2003 05:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenBored, bored, bored...
{bored bored bored}
...bored.
No, really. Cannot be bothered doing anything. Have no enthusiasm. Or motivation. Or pronouns.
Something Corporate gig in... how many days? Four?
I'm not even remotely bouncy about it, because it hasn't sunk in. Nothing ever seems to sink in until the day before any more.
Which is, of course, why I will do no revision for my actual GCSEs, I can feel it. I will go on study leave, and it will be hot by then. Well, not hot... this is England... but warm. And the warmer it is, the more depressed I am - it's a perfect example of proportion in nature. So yes, I will be on study leave, at home with the contents of my desk, and I will do no work whatsoever. I will just sit and be depressed.
Last summer was not fun at the time, I seem to remember...![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snowdrop24 went to Wales and happened to text me on an exremely bad day. I informed her I was going to kill myself. I didn't, of course. I went to bed and stayed there for eighteen hours.
Shortly after that, I was hit by a car.
And will you look at that... I've just dug out the playlist I was using at the time. As Jem Finch so aptly says, "Shoot no wonder..."
"I dream about how it's going to end, approaching me quickly,
Suicidal dreams..."
That was my favourite song for so long. According to the playlist I listened to it 168 times. The only song I've listened to more than that is Konstantine...
And I'm going to hear it live in four days, and I'm still not excited about it.
Huh. Guess I'll go and do some work. Maybe.
{bored bored bored}
...bored.
No, really. Cannot be bothered doing anything. Have no enthusiasm. Or motivation. Or pronouns.
Something Corporate gig in... how many days? Four?
I'm not even remotely bouncy about it, because it hasn't sunk in. Nothing ever seems to sink in until the day before any more.
Which is, of course, why I will do no revision for my actual GCSEs, I can feel it. I will go on study leave, and it will be hot by then. Well, not hot... this is England... but warm. And the warmer it is, the more depressed I am - it's a perfect example of proportion in nature. So yes, I will be on study leave, at home with the contents of my desk, and I will do no work whatsoever. I will just sit and be depressed.
Last summer was not fun at the time, I seem to remember...
snowdrop24 went to Wales and happened to text me on an exremely bad day. I informed her I was going to kill myself. I didn't, of course. I went to bed and stayed there for eighteen hours. Shortly after that, I was hit by a car.
And will you look at that... I've just dug out the playlist I was using at the time. As Jem Finch so aptly says, "Shoot no wonder..."
"I dream about how it's going to end, approaching me quickly,
Suicidal dreams..."
That was my favourite song for so long. According to the playlist I listened to it 168 times. The only song I've listened to more than that is Konstantine...
And I'm going to hear it live in four days, and I'm still not excited about it.
Huh. Guess I'll go and do some work. Maybe.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2003-03-04 10:22 am (UTC)You deserve to be happy. And you will be again, I just know it. Being a teenage person sucks sometimes (OK, a lot of the time), but it's not forever....
Please, please, please -- go to bed for eighteen hours or more if you have to...but please don't do anything more drastsic than that....
Re:
on 2003-03-04 10:33 am (UTC)And... thank you for taking the time to cheer me up. I probably don't say it enough, but your comments and feedback and general being-there-ness... guess I can't put it in words, but I love you, I really do.
no subject
on 2003-03-04 02:56 pm (UTC)