Christmas

[raven]

So... got up at four thirty. We got back at about a quarter past seven, so I went back to bed and slept until half twelve.
And then got up, tried revising history, am cold, feel awful.
It seems I've felt consistently awful since about Monday. I'm so bored of everything.
Consider. I've been spending much less time online. All my journal entries are written offline at present (not this one, as it happens, so nearly all of them). Colleen thinks I've disappeared, and so I have. I'm bored. Not of her! No... I'm not bored of people. I'm bored of things.
I spend much less time online, I've left Stargate fandom, I haven't been reading, and avoiding revision gets more and more difficult as all I want to do is sleep. It happened again, yesterday - I gave up on the whole loneliness thing, and just went back to bed. Sleeping doesn't bore me.
Being bored and being tired are closely interconnected. And those defences... I don't know. I'm sick of being screwed over by people I call friends, I'm sick of constantly reminding myself to be understanding and calm and forgiving and all those other fucking civilised attributes I should supposedly possess, and I don't know what I want.
I don't know where this is going, either.
I guess part of the problem is the feeling everyone seems to be having a better time than me. It may sound so shallow, but it's how I really feel. I hate Christmas because of it - I know, I know, I don't celebrate Christmas because I'm not Christian, but then I see all the people who never do anything remotely religious during the year, but because they're nominally Christian and can say so on their birth certificate, or whatever, they get to make a song and dance about it in the last week of December. So everyone here gets to celebrate peace and goodwill to all men, while I sit and try to ignore the whole holiday. People tell me that I have my own religion, I must have something that resembles Christmas, but I don't. We have Diwali, which is nice when we do celebrate it, but we haven't, not for the last two years, and even when we do it's nothing like Christmas. No religion has a holiday remotely resembling the hype of this one festival...
And I hate how childish I sound. I'm actually feeling sorry for myself for such a ridiculous reason, so, so, stupid - it's a fucking little kids' candy-cane-golden-syrup-Jesus-loves-you(everyone-else-thinks-you're-a-cunt) holiday, and I don't need it, it won't enrich my life any. I don't need it.
And then they put up Christmas decorations in Liverpool's city centre, and erect a huge, beautiful, leaning-to-one-side Christmas tree, and Coca-Cola start playing their Christmas adverts, and people are constantly bombarded by the voice of Noddy Holder singing "So here it is, Merry Christmas..." and I want it. To be a part of it.
I don't need it.

Comments

[over.livejournal.com]

oh good. somebody else feels the same that i do about christmas. the whole holiday is just so insane!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*nods* That's just the word for it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_vertigo/]

Christmas is so many more things than a religious festival. It was created out of thin air as like. the ultimate vacation away from the world.
Dont hold yourself back from it because rule says so. You are a part of my christmas, you would be if you were a jehovas witness or buddhist, or a nun. If you want it, you can take it.
free for all
xox

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*smiles*
Thank you. I'm happy to be a part of your Christmas.

[whyihateyou.livejournal.com]

i think that EVERYONE should be a part of some Christmas-like holiday. i do believe in God. i'm Christian. but i don't think that Christmas necessarily has to do with the Christian mythology surrounding the event. along with that, for me, it's when my entire huge family gets to get together and talk about everything that's going on since we rarely get to see each other, it's a time when everyone gets to stay home from school and sit around and have fun and sleep in and watch tv.. it's a time to eat good food. hell. i don't even really care so much about the presents although, when someone gets me something that i KNOW took a lot of thought.. or when the person says 'you didn't tell me what you wanted but i knew you would love this'.. it just makes the season even better. i think everyone should be able to participate in something like that. even if families do need an excuse like a holiday to get together, that's a good one. i like spending time with everyone and i like the feeling that i get during this time of year... and so.. yes. no matter what religion anyone is, they are a part of MY personal Christmas. i take advantage of this time to remind people how much they really mean to me no matter how different or similar they are.

i ship internationally. ;D if it wouldn't freak you out you should get me your address so i can send you a card.

-Rebecca.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

That's such a sweet thought. I think I'd like that... you're gonna get an email from me in a moment...
But please do reciprocate. If you're sending me a card, I'd like to send you one.

In fact, everything you've written here is sweet. I appreciate your taking the time to make me feel better about Christmas.

Thank you,
~Raven

~Raven

[flickgc.livejournal.com]

aol.

I'm not at all religious, and wasn't brought up so (it certainly doesn't say "Christian" on my birth certificate, I was never baptised, now I'm just a Discordian!), but Christmas is fun - I like buying things for people, and I like sparkly paper and pretty lights and stuff!

So, if you want a card from me, too, let me know!
They're all sparkly and everything!

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

They're sparkly? Oooh!
Seriously, I'd love a card, and I'd love to send you one too.
After all the comments I've recieved on this post, I'm starting to change my mind about Christmas. A little bit.

And they're sparkly! Who could resist?

[flickgc.livejournal.com]

yay!

Now I just need to decide which typ of sparkly card you get... *g*