(no subject)

[raven]

Sometimes I feel weird about letting this kind of thing take up space! But you've gotta give people a chance to know you. I've used they/them pronouns since 2018. That's still right, but it's she/her as well as they/them now. Both are fine, both in the same sentence especially fine.

(Wouldn't people misgender an afab nonbinary person enough for they/she to happen organically? Not my friends, family and work colleagues!)

Anyway I'm such a huge believer in your pronouns being what make you happy more than a means to reflect your innermost truths! But, well, I've been calling myself a bisexual nonbinary person and have been using they/them pronouns all this time and that was right; I've felt truthful and expansive, living that. But for the last year or two I've been saying, bi lesbian, or lesbian-leaning bisexual; and I suppose this is a new space of inhabitation. And I'm not overly concerned about people getting it "right", but if I'm laying out a preferred inhabitation, I guess this is my eternal refusenik status biting back. Genderqueer. Nonbinary, but not like that. And woman, wife, lesbian, but not female, because who is.

Comments

[troyswann]

Noted!

[runpunkrun]

Hello, Raven (they/she)!

[watersword]

Thank you for telling us!

[asakiyume]

I'm glad to have the update; I like hearing about your unfolding, developing sense of yourself.

[genarti]

Noted, and thank you for the update!

[wychwood]

Thanks for clarifying! Honestly, it's really helpful - I saw you were using she/her pronouns in your recent book bios, and I wasn't sure whether that was just a "for public consumption" sort of thing, or a change, or (as you have said!) that both are good.

[raven]

That's what prompted it really - I confused the hell out of one reviewer who was doing their best to be respectful courteous!

[cmcmck]

Always happy to know.

not female, because who is.

Me! Hence she/her. :op

[chasing_silver]

I'm also a lesbian-leaning bisexual!

[pauraque]

Noted, and well done taking up space! I have continued to come up with reasons that it's "too much" to talk about being a nonbinary lesbian however many months ago I told you I was thinking about it, so I know how difficult it can be. (I am not changing pronouns [again] so part of it is there's no urgency there.)

[sewn]

Noted!

As someone whose first language doesn't even have gendered personal pronouns, your pronouns being what make you happy more than a means to reflect your innermost truths makes a ton of sense.

[cmcmck]

What language is that?

I know Hungarian doesn't through a friend who speaks it. She's functionally biligual English/Hungarian.

[sewn]

Finnish, which is in the same family as Hungarian.

[cmcmck]

Of course! Finno Ugric family which also contains Estonian. :o)

[skygiants]

Thank you for the update! \o/

[silverhare]

Good to know! :)

[tau_sigma]

Sometimes I feel weird about letting this kind of thing take up space! But you've gotta give people a chance to know you.

My very dear friend, we love knowing you. Thank you for letting us. Please take up all the space you like or need. <3

[longwhitecoats]

<3

[lovelythings]

Thanks for letting us know you <3

[chestnut_pod]

So noted! Thank you for the update.