state of the raven

[raven]

So from conversations I had over the weekend with various people, it seems as though I have been sufficiently internet-quiet for people not to know where I am, and what I'm up to, and whatnot. So, er, hi. I aten't dead. I've been back in the UK for nearly three months, and am still in the place where I am very glad to be back and miss the States with an unromantic ache like a toothache, in that it waxes and wanes and sometimes I almost forget I spent the last year in another country and other times I wish I could turn around and be back in Ithaca, back in New York, back in last September and that crisp and perfect fall.

I have spent the last three months doing nothing at all. This is not true. I have been trying and failing to be a good daughter - my mother and I are not getting on very well at the moment, but better when I'm not actually living in my parents' house - and doing somewhat better at being a good granddaughter. Due to a genealogical quirk, my grandfather on my mother's side has three grandchildren somewhat spread in age. I received my Masters degree the same summer his youngest granddaughter was getting the hang of consonants. But I'm hoping that he appreciated my company. He's not doing so well, healthwise, and I spent a lot of days in July, just reading, keeping an eye on him, and talking to him about whatever he wanted to talk about: the last Stieg Larsson novel, Congress's foreign policy, my career plans. His Hindi is as bad as mine, so we talk in English. My mother and grandmother underestimate him, all the time, which perturbs me.

(Case in point: they were arguing some time ago about why a particular cousin hasn't got married yet.

"Maybe he's shy," my mother said, in Bangla.

"Maybe he doesn't know what to say to girls," my grandmother said.

"Maybe no one's asked him if he's gay," my grandfather said, in English for my benefit.)

They return to India today, and I'm glad they came. But still, after several weeks of family time, I was glad to come home. It's probably hormonal or a response to never living anywhere more than nine months in six years or something like that, but I feel like I'm finally living somewhere and being at home at the same time. I've never lived with a partner before, but it makes sense and it's right and Shim and I fight more about the washing up than we used to, but we used to go six months without seeing each other and change is good. We live in this quiet, sweet suburban flat; our next door neighbours have small children and dogs, and everything is quiet as the grave after dark and I love it, I do. We have bookcases, uplighters, candles, lamps. Everything is full of light. We're rewatching The West Wing and I'm happy.

So, I came home, and I spent August writing the first 25,000 words of a novel. I'm really, really hoping I can manage to finish it, and I'm feeling good that I got this far. The month's winding down and I had a lovely Bank Holiday weekend; today gavagai and I went to Notting Hill Carnival and came back cheerful and trailing a miasma of cannabis smoke. Last night she showed me the first X-Men film, and cheerfully tweeted everything I bemusedly said about it. (It all made sense about twenty minutes in! It's about a tragic love affair between the two old guys!) I kind of want to watch the next one, now. Oh, and we had dinner with friends tonight, and I saw apotropaios and anotherusedpage for the first time since I came back from the States, and it was just a perfect evening.

In exactly one week, I start my training contract. This is my first job at above minimum wage; it's my first nine-to-five job, it's my first time doing something that really matters. I'm excited and terrified and I don't know what to wear and I guess, it's all things at the brink of things.

Comments

[silverhare]

:) I'm so pleased. Best of luck for your training contract.

[raven]

Thank you very much, my dear.

[brightlywoven]

You paint a glorious picture of domesticity, though I'm shocked to hear there could be fights about the washing up in a house that has Shim in it. Or perhaps you fight about who gets to do the washing up?
I'm so glad you're happy, and I'm sure the job will be brilliant *squish*

[raven]

*smiles* We are both so messy! So messy people. It leads to washing-up-tastrophes. But on the whole we are working out well. I miss you! Lots and lots.

[brightlywoven]

I miss you too! Any chance you are visiting this way soon?
xxx

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

Good luck with starting the job. Hope it all goes smoothly. :-)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! :)

[marymac.livejournal.com]

Your grandfather sounds fantastic.

Wait, wait, so nobody indoctrinated you in X-Men before this? Oooo. You're very right about the love affair. I can never decide if they meant to do it at the start or it turned up by accident and stuck around. In the comics, even. It was pretty deliberate on the part of McKellan and Stewart.

As for the training contract, if you're covered from neck to knee and everything is clean and vaguely matches you'll be fine. Says the woman wearing jeans with bike grease on them in work.

[tau_sigma]

"Maybe no one's asked him if he's gay," my grandfather said, in English for my benefit.

Oh em gee, your grandfather sounds AMAZING.

(So much of your family is amazing, and witty, and it shouldn't be suprising given how YOU turned out, you amazing thing, you, but still. Oh, your family. *hearts them*)

Also, you hadn't seen X-Men? Even I have seen X-Men, Iona, and I have a reputation for having lived under a rock and never seen any films ever. (It's slightly undeserved, but still.) I have the trilogy, so if you want to visit one day and watch the second and third, do. *g*

I have had my 9-5 job for a year, minus approximately 3 weeks, and I still pick up clothes in shops and wonder 'is this appropriate for work?' You will be fine. Good luck!

[eglantine-br.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you have a lot going on. You are busy balancing on the cusp of something that could be really great. And a novel!! Go, you.

Fall has started here in Brooklyn. The storm brought it. Sweatshirts now.

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

Good luck with your new job!

[fyrdrakken]

Congrats on the novel-in-progress and the new home and being back in the UK and spending time with your grandparents!

And I absolutely fell in love with X-Men when I saw it in the theaters. The second one is awesome, the third one had a different director who seemed determined to break everything the fans had loved about the first two, and now there's the prequel movie focusing mainly on the love affair between those two old guys (recast as James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender) which is also awesome in its own unique way.

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

I approve of this summary, particularly the part where you skipped over the entire existence of Origins: Wolverine.

[fyrdrakken]

I completely forgot about the existence of the Wolverine Origins movie -- which, when you consider A) that Wolvie is the character I fell in love with on my first viewing of X-Men and B) that I really loved the Origins comic miniseries, probably says all anyone needs to know about the movie. I enjoyed many parts of it, but it's probably not going to interest someone who came away from the first X-Men movie being all about the Charles/Erik love story.

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

Good luck with starting the training contract! I hope the initial scary period passes quickly and you enjoy it.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much, dear. :)