invaders from the fifth dimension

[raven]

I've had a nice weekend. The Siren is back from Forn Parts, and I'd missed her; we managed to go grocery shopping this morning without anybody crying; yesterday was eruthros' birthday and part of how she chose to celebrate was watching "Bride of Chaotica!" (note, the exclamation point goes inside the quotation marks.)

(My favourite part: Satan's Robot. "Invaders from the fifth dimension! Invaders from the fifth dimension! Invaders!" - Harry dings it - "invaders.")

Also:

Me, yawning: Okay, it's late, I should go home.
eruthros: Once again, you get away with seeing The Sentinel.
Me: I promise you before I go, you can show me The Sentinel. You can tie me to a chair and show me The Sentinel.
livrelibre: We can prop your eyes open with toothpicks.
Me: We're gonna need a safeword.

It was a lovely evening.

In other news, I have made no progress on Remix whatsoever, gavagai and I have spent a lot of time recently discussing the many many LOTS of times Rupert Giles is awesome [note: spoilers for the Buffy season 8 comics, if you're into those] and I was pleased to note that although lgbtfest has retired for the time being, queer_fest has appeared to take up the slack.

(Partly because of this, I've put all my Buffy fic onto the AO3, after a good long while of dithering about it; the problem is it's right on the edge of writing I am embarrassed to have on the internet - 2002 and 2003 are pretty much a no, so most of my Harry Potter fic and all of my SG-1 fic is not archived, and the M*A*S*H stories have already been read by everyone in the world I am comfortable having read them! - but the Buffy stories were written in 2004. And so they've gone up, with the caveat of I-was-sixteen-when-I-wrote-this appended to the bottom. And they've got kudos! After an initial dislike, I think I can say I'm definitely come around to the AO3 kudos idea. It's nice to know people like stories I wrote seven years ago.)

In matters non-fannish, though, I am not doing so well: I am back from spring break feeling like I have a) a tonne of work to do and b) too unmotivated to get up off the couch for a glass of water and c) also too scatterbrained to do anything at the right time in the right order. I want to blame the weather - rumours of the death of winter have been greatly exaggerated - but I live in upstate New York. The weather is a given, like oxygen. I need to do some work sometime. And everyone from my therapist to my mother to the nice lady who remembers my coffee order at the vegan cafe has been telling me that it's not long till I leave, now - which is true, of course, but I do not know what I feel about it, okay. It's a mixture of oh god I will never do that much work in that short a time and oh yay I get to go home and a horrible new interloper of a feeling, which is: I'm sorry to go.

Well, I am. I am happy here. I am happier here than I was most of last year and waaaaay more than 2009. I'm happy. I could get a Wegmans shoppers' card and a New York driver's license and I'd be happy about that. This semester has been going like a breeze compared to the previous one, and even if I weren't happy to be here, I now know exactly what it's like to leave behind friends and a community and little cafes where they know you and cross the ocean to another country, and to pack up everything you own while feeling like you're leaving something of yourself behind, and I don't want to do it again. I don't. It hurt a lot, the first time.

Comments

[raven]

Ohhh, I am going to miss you guys. Such a lot. <33

Re: Sentinel, chair, bondage, eyelid-props, and then we'll talk. :P