love will always be larger and different from our plans

[raven]

This is a little early, but what the hell, I'm buzzed and mellow and I want to talk. Today is January 9th, 2011 - another day, nothing special, perhaps. Ten years ago, I was thirteen, nearly fourteen, bright and lost and looking for something; ten years ago, less six weeks, I discovered a fanfiction archive, a television show and a friend.

Ten years ago I met hathycol; today I am twenty-three, nearly twenty-four, and next year I'll be bridesmaid at her wedding. Here's to you, fandom: here's to everything I found, everyone I met, everyone I've loved; everything I've watched and read and seen; every alien city I've slept in among friends. Here's to you, and thanks for everything.

A quiet day, today. Colleen and I went to Manchester with tau_sigma; we went to Afflecks, and sighed for our rapidly-receding days as teenage goths; we went to Forbidden Planet, and bought doughnuts and drank coffee and talked about everything and nothing. I bought a coat. Tali and I made fun of Colleen's passion for Cardassians; we made hen party plans and cackled with laughter. Colleen and I got through a bottle of mellow wine over dinner, and I am happy, so very happy. Perhaps I don't say this as much as I should, but here it is, anyway: fandom is no longer as important to me as it once was. It's no longer my only passion, the only thing I really care about. But that's because when it was, when it shaped my ideas about community and storytelling and what gives people value, it drew out my talents, and it gave me the strength of that community. I care about other things now - like social justice, law, my career and relationships - because I am what fandom made me, because it made me grow up feeling like I could contribute to what I care about. That I can shine as bright as I see everyone else shine.

And I still care about stories. I always will.

fandom_stocking went live today. I had lots of very sweet greetings, but some people have been especially kind: thistlerose wrote me a sweet ficlet, Unpathed Waters, Undreamed Shores, about McCoy and Spock, whom I adore, and if that weren't enough, she also made some very pretty icons. And icepixie made me a vidlet, Sea-Changed, which is Slings & Arrows, Geoffrey and performance and evolution and applause, and it made me cry while simultaneously being very happy. Oh, it's lovely.

It has been a beautiful ten years; the next ten will be different in their own way, but I am so happy to have grown up here.

Comments

[rhivolution]

Happy birthday and a happy fandom anniversary to you, as well.

[raven]

Thank you, my dear! I am jumping the gun somewhat; my birthday isn't for ten days, but tonight felt right for the fandom anniversary. :)

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

It was a lovely, lovely day, one that was well-deserved I feel. Even though GROWN-UP ARGH.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

So much GROWN-UP ARGH. Hello, you. I am very sorry the last week has been treating you crappily.

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

I'm happy you grew up here, too. And it's been lovely watching you just become more and more awesome.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, you. *flutters* As though you didn't do just the same.

[tau_sigma]

Such a wonderful, lovely day indeed. *g*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I am so rubbish with comments lately, but yes! So lovely. :)

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

This is lovely. Hurrah for fandom! It's almost exactly twelve years (as of four days ago) since I first watched Buffy, and while I don't think my involvement in fandom has been anywhere near the level of yours, it has still made such an impression on my life.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Twelve years! You started even younger than I did! :) And, hey, it was so nice to see you yesterday. We must meet up again sometime. <3

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

For some reason it was really popular with my class in years 4 and 5; we even used to play Buffy-themed games at playtime. I don't think most people continued watching it, but my nine-year-old self fell hopelessly in love with it.

It was very nice, yes! I'm glad we were able to.

[sriti.livejournal.com]

Hey, I know this is early, and I don't know you very well, but I really enjoy reading your posts, and I wanted to wish you a very very happy birthday! You share the same birthday as my mom! Well, hope you don't have too many classes and get to enjoy your birthday!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! (happy birthday to your mom, too!)