ficlet: the lord regent's travelling circus [Vorkosigan saga]

[raven]

ficlet: the lord regent's travelling circus (four things that never happened to Aral Vorkosigan)
by Raven
PG-13, gen...ish. Vorkosigan-verse, for vampire_kitten.

---

On a quiet desert day, between cartographies, Cordelia is roused out of a sound sleep by a knock on her apartment door.

It's him. Swaying very gently, he merely stares at her for a while. She stares back.

"Are you," and she stops. Staying? Crazy? A figment of my imagination? "Drunk?"

"It's a possibility I haven't quite ruled out, yes," he agrees. "Brandy and wormhole travel don't go together particularly well, it must be said."

"I think you'd better come in," she says, and shuts the door behind him. And then, "Are you planning to be here long?"

"I can make myself useful," he says, a little desperately. "I mean, I can't exactly join your military, and I'm not, a, er, scientist. I'm good at throwing people, though. Sometimes through walls."

"Are you really," she says, and kisses him, deeply, tasting the brandy in his mouth; brandy, and distance, and home.

*

Lord Vorkosigan is not interested in politics. He has retired with his offworlder wife and their young son, and they live a quiet life of seclusion at Vorkosigan Surleau.

It's the party line, and on the whole, it is toed by all members of the household. Young Piotr Miles, usually called Miles to distinguish him from the more senior bearer of the name, runs happily around the estate, taking great leaping dives into the lake and great diving leaps off his grandfather's horses. Lady Vorkosigan divides her time between keeping an eye on him and writing long research papers for a wide variety of Betan scientific journals, having become a prominent expert on Barrayaran avifauna.

Aral administers the district, in his own quiet way; he sorts out petty crime and boundary disputes and he does not learn to ride, much to his father's displeasure. It's possible, he thinks, they may have, all of them, found their peace. And the day that Gregor's body is found, floating small and broken, he gets quietly into a lightflyer and leaves it all behind.

*

The major flaw in Barrayaran military history is the way it tries to ascribe meaning to everything, when history is sometimes only a sequence of events, bloody, meaningless, that happened. All the talk of honour, and sacrifice, when even military sacrifice can be self-indulgent; harder by far to sacrifice a life rather than a death, the breath and the breadth of it, to what is greater than one man.

Love stories are the same, Aral thinks, only a little bitterly. In the cold white light of a winter morning, he is pulling clothes and boots swiftly off the floor, throwing off the clean white sheets. With only dawn as backlight, the man he leaves behind looks softly human – neither tortured madman nor mad torturer – and he could take credit for that, tell himself that he leaves that quietness behind him, an old lover with a shadow of old love. He's sure he keeps the edge off, at any rate. Burns off the nastier excesses.

But it chews them all up in the end, he thinks, suddenly, Barrayar, spitting present and future backwards into history, and maybe you look for comfort where you can find it, in bloodier intimacy than peace.

*

The noise alerts her, suddenly, to a presence other than her own. A quiet keening, an inhuman sound, and Ensign Dubauer rolls into view, eyes wide, staring, rolling back into his head. Commander Naismith has seen that look before – the look that says all reason and sanity have fled, leaving youthful ruin, soft-fluid mush.

A momentary rustle, a breaking of camouflage – and she sees the enemy captain, just for a moment, against the background of the canopy. Dubauer moans in pain. Cordelia smiles slightly and fires.

end

Comments

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

Oh my, but this is wonderful! I adore all of them, and can't possibly pick a favourite -- every time I try, another leaps out at me, pointing out that it, too, is far too lovely for words.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*vbg* thaaankyou!

[emily-shore.livejournal.com]

Oh man. Brilliant. So glad I re-read the first two books today. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

yaaay, thank you!

[icepixie]

These are fantastic.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :)

[amchau.livejournal.com]

That's truly lovely.

("Brandy and wormhole travel don't go together particularly well, it must be said."
Heh.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my dear!

[vampire-kitten.livejournal.com]

Oh my. That is.. nope, I don't have the words to describe how wonderful this is.

Thank you.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, hurrah! You're welcome, and I'm really glad you liked it.

[cealdis.livejournal.com]

Excellent. Really, really excellent. Thank you for writing them.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're welcome! Thank you for reading.

[flourish.livejournal.com]

Excellent.

I actually would love to read a longer fic along the lines of the first vignette - I think it could be incredibly interesting. But all the others were wonderful too - just not quite as open to continuing stories. ;)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :) And you know, I thought that too. It would be interesting, Aral-Vorkosigan-the-born-aristocrat trying to be an ordinary person. And Miles, again not an aristocrat golden boy, but with no disabilities. It would be very very interesting.

[thistlerose.livejournal.com]

You wrote Vorkosigan fic! You just made my day inexpressibly better.

This is lovely. Sad, to think of what might have happened.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad! Thank you for reading!

Here via Thistlerose

[lyras.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely (although the final one made me go eek!). I love the second one especially; the idea that they can never quite escape their roles is saddening, but very likely. And the first one is really sweet. :)

Re: Here via Thistlerose

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you very much for reading! The first one is my favourite. :)

Those are brilliant.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

What amazing visions. The last one really did make me gasp.

Re: Those are brilliant.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Thank you for reading.

[katealaurel.livejournal.com]

This is really absolutely lovely. Thank you so much.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hey, thank you for reading! :)

[the_antichris.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is beautiful and wrenching. I'd love to know more about a universe where the first one happens, especially.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you very much, and so would I...

[azurelunatic]

This ... yes. This ... I cannot find the words, but you have identified all these turning points, and taken them, and yes.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank you for reading!

[icanhascurves.livejournal.com]

Yay! These were awesome. My only complaint is that there isn't enough but there is never enough. The first and third will definitely be fueling my bus entertainment for quite some time. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. :)

[bookaddict88.livejournal.com]

Wow.


I love, love, love what you did here!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :P

here from bujold_fic

[philomytha.livejournal.com]

These are outstanding! Especially the first .. and the second ... er, all of them. Though the last one - ow. You've perfectly nailed Aral and Cordelia and found the tiny twists in their characters that would make these scenarios possible.

Re: here from bujold_fic

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad you liked it.

[lilyoftheval5.livejournal.com]

Thank you, very interesting reading.

A question though..
'And the day that Gregor's body is found, floating small and broken, he gets quietly into a lightflyer and leaves it all behind.'
Who leaves what behind?

[kestrelct.livejournal.com]

My reading is that Aral leaves his district, his family, politics...everything.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Lovely, and thank you. (Unlike everyone else, I got drawn in by #3 -- but Ges/Aral's my kink.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

You're welcome!

(I read Cordelia's Honour literally three days ago, and have been scouring the internet for fic ever since, and honestly, I'm really surprised at the lack of this particular kink. I mean, it's fic gold - canonically bisexual character has youthful torrid affair with lover who turns out to be crazy! Where is the fic?

...sorry, apparently I feel very strongly about this.)

[tieleen.livejournal.com]

These are absolutely wonderful, and mostly chilling (in the good way... well, is there really a bad way?) I really hope you do end up expanding the first one.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I hope so, too! Thank you for reading.

[petronelle.livejournal.com]

These all make my heart soar and/or wince in varying degrees.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am glad. Thanks for reading, dear.