Miscellany

[raven]

Conversations With My Father, Take #894758:

"D'you know, in the last three days we've watched fourteen episodes of The West Wing."

"...what?"

"And one of Slings And Arrows."

"What?"

"Really."

"It's midnight."

"Mmm?"

"In eight hours I have to do a Caesarean."

"Right. 'Noel'?"

"Tomorrow."

Other than this very productive use of my time - it is productive, it's my degree subject, and that's my story and I'm sticking to it - I have spent today thinking up creative levels of my very own hell. How it happened I don't know, but because I am great and marvellous, I somehow arranged it so my passport, driving theory certificate and Young Person's Railcard all expired in the same week. I have spent my afternoon on the phone to three separate government organisations and my evening primal screaming.

Which intensified somewhat upon the discovery that someone, in the last two days, had left the freezer door open. We now have four drawers full of an appealing, aromatic frozen-pea-vanilla-soup. Ick. And to put the crowning touch on a wonderful day, I am finding it impossible to apply to American universities for post-grad without accidentally labelling myself as a high-school dropout. (Also, as I realised this afternoon, the reason I can never write about my "activities and achievements" on application forms is that I've had one consistent hobby since I was thirteen and it is profoundly socially unacceptable. If I'd spent all that time learning a musical instrument or volunteering at the RSPCA or doing t'ai chi, I'd have something to write about.) I win at life.

Hence all the watching of television. I finally finished Slings & Arrows yesterday after a few days of trying my best to stretch it out, but alas, there are only eighteen episodes and now I am bereft. I wanted to sit down and write lots about it, but I can't. I'm trying to put my finger down on what it is I love about this show - it's the writing, it's the passion for the subject matter, it's Geoffrey Tennant - but I can't do that either.

I guess, first of all it's a black comedy that actually works as a black comedy. You get to a point where you're watching a former mental patient slip back into madness whilst failing to help his his drug-addled, dying lead actor, and you sit back and ask yourself, why the hell am I laughing? And you are, and you continue to laugh at ghosts and drama queens and Bolivian counter-revolutionaries and lesbian pot-smoking stage managers. And you laugh at madness, because it is, in a dark way, very funny. Geoffrey's mental illness is played for laughs, usually, and that works, because he is a drama queen, and because the very few times it isn't done that way, it becomes automatically much scarier. I still think that one of the most powerful moments of the series is watching Geoffrey slowly, bit-by-bit, come undone at a school production of Macbeth - courtesy of Oliver, but also because of the tragedy. The fact it's being done by eight-year-olds makes it all the more affecting.

What is it about me, narrative, and mental states, I wonder? I certainly have a thing about the topic in general: the only piece of non-fiction I've read this vacation is, bizarrely, about Freud, and I loved philosophy of mind. I love philosophy in general, of course, but mind particularly, because it's that old philosophical trope of questioning our fundamental principles taken to the next level, questioning how we can question, what we question with, reducing us to first principles to how we think about how we think. And it's all about dry science of cognition, except it isn't: it's the quiet question of why is there a whole universe of outside and a space inside that's just mine, why do I have my own dark behind my eyes?

How can you not love that? Quoting directly from the exam papers here, what would it be for a Martian to be a person, or an angel? What is a mind? Are you reading this question? How do you know it's you?

And it's probably something about this fascination of mine that makes me like Asimov's Robot stories (and not the Foundation - I much prefer Susan Calvin, Baley and Daneel) and Ian M. Banks' Culture (which I really need to read the whole of one of these days, rather than just re-reading and re-re-reading Look To Windward). But it doesn't extend so far as explaining why altered mental states are just my bulletproof narrative kink. With Geoffrey, the appeal is that he, too, seems to enjoy the philosophy of it - you can't quite discern, sometimes, which is real mental illness and which is his refusal to let his mental processes be any way influenced by society's expectations.

I remember some time ago absinthe_shadow and I discussed doing an altered-mental-states ficathon, having made a list of examples in fandom: Remus and the wolf in his head, Josh Lyman and his PTSD in "Noel" (and, arguably, the Ninth Doctor in "Dalek", and Ten's god complex ever after, and John Smith), Daniel Jackson forever being committed, Buffy in "Normal Again", Hawkeye in M*A*S*H, and, of course, Geoffrey should be added. I still want to do a multifandom ficathon of this sort, with the subversion of sanity as the main theme, if a) there was sufficient interest and b) I figured out the logistics.

I have some recs to post, as I turn the internet upside down and hope the Slings & Arrows fic falls out, but not now. Sleeeep.

Comments

[thiswaltz.livejournal.com]

A subverted sanity ficathon is a brilliant idea. but I'm terrible at finishing fics and meeting deadlines so I don't know if i would sign up.

Do you watch Raines? that's another show with another not-quite-sane but marevlous main character.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I'm seriously gauging opinion right now! You'd read even if you didn't write, wouldn't you?

No, I don't! In fact, I don't think I've heard of it...

[thiswaltz.livejournal.com]

I'd certainly read! I prefer my characters with a bit of crazy. This is the first ficathon in a long time I've seriously considered entering. is it going to be prompt style or exchange style? I'd be more likely to write for it if it were prompt style, but either way it's a great idea.

Raines is a detective show, where the depressed, brilliant and sarcastic Micheal Raines (played by an understated Jeff Goldblume) sees and talks to the victims as he solves their murders. He's not psychic, he just sees them. it's well acted, well written and beautifully filmed IMO. There's only been one season so far, and all the eps are up on the NBC site if you don't mind watching it tiny and fuzzy. I don't know if it's available elsewhere.

[foreverdirt.livejournal.com]

Also, as I realised this afternoon, the reason I can never write about my "activities and achievements" on application forms is that I've had one consistent hobby since I was thirteen and it is profoundly socially unacceptable.

You mean that way you're a keen member of an online writers' group, and you edit and discuss each other's work with particular emphasis on the ways your different cultural biases lead you to interpret the same text?

(I did once get asked if I'd ever had anything published. "Um," I said.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* That's beautiful.

The reason I'm particularly pissed off just now is that I'm filling in one of those dreadful forms that ask you to "write about a time when you demonstrated initiative and commitment", or whatever. Well, today I'm planning a ficathon - to gauge opinion, publicise, formulate, organise (and write for!) it. That's a great example, but I can't write about it!

It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

assdadskdskjkds DO THE FICATHON.

I would have other characters to add, because as we all know, this is my bulletproof narrative kink, too. No, SERIOUSLY. Just today I was thinking about how I'm not doing any ficathons until the winter-holiday ones at least, and probably not even those, and so it is a sign that you posted this today. A sign that this ficathon is meant to happen, pleeeeeaaaaaase??? *puppy-dog eyes*

Also, I owe you an email re: S&A, where I will be able to discuss this in more depth, but I just wanted to say that I agree 100% with you that this show takes black comedy to a whole new level, where dead men walk and crazy men are our main narrative focalizers.

Also, this:

it's the passion for the subject matter

Yes. This is what sold me on the show from episode one. I am so overwhelmed with joy by Geoffrey's passion--and Kate's passion, and Ellen's, and even Richard's for that brief stretch in S2--but mostly Geoffrey, who lives these plays and loves them unashamedly, and who could make a DOG love them too.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

PS, I just wanted to note, so that you understand how much I am in deadly (crazy) earnest, that if this ficathon were maybe possibly to happen, I would be happy to help out with logistics. And I can think of several lovely people I could pimp into it. Just so you know

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Seriously, I would really appreciate it. The difficult part, I think, is figuring out how this would work. The usual model - people nominate two or three things they want in their story, subject to certain restrictions - probably won't work. Last night I was wondering if we could perhaps make a list of altered mental states and phenomena - off the top of my head, say depression, madness, grief, possession, hallucinations, nightmares - and have people nominate only a fandom and a mental state as their request. Or would that be too broad?

You see, I need your help. :)

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

That makes sense to me. Given the multitude of fandoms that are possible, it doesn't make sense to give very restrictive prompts. Just prompting with a fandom and a mental state--or even, in some cases, a character, given that a lot of characters have very specific associated mental states, e.g., Josh and the PTSD.

I think listing some fandom suggestions in the main challenge post or web site would be helpful. Actually, I was thinking--are you familiar with sitcomathon? That had a similar premise, at least in the sense that it was multifandom and by its nature included a lot of small fandoms. Of course, the problem with allowing people to request small-fandom stories is that there might not be anyone else in the challenge who can write that fandom. The admins at sitcomathon addressed that problem like this (http://community.livejournal.com/sitcomathon/2006/07/15/). Basically, participants made five requests; two of them had to be for "major" fandoms on the masterlist, while the other three could be any fandom, on the list or not, including crossovers. I think that makes the matching process somewhat easier, as it guarantees that everyone makes at least one request for a fandom that others can write.

Just a thought.

Adding to the list of popular fandoms: Sports Night and Dan Rydell. And I suppose... oh, I don't remember many Studio 60 plotlines, but probably either Danny or Matt there? Sorkin reliably brings the crazy. I hear there's some Starbuck craziness on the new BSG, although I'm not caught up. And possibly Dr. Cox on Scrubs, at least during the Ben "hallucinations." Speaking of irascible doctors, there's also House and drug use, which I think caused some pretty weird plotlines. I don't know how broadly you want "altered mental states" to be interpreted, though.

I'm sure I'll think of half a dozen others throughout the day. I'll keep a running list if I do.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I actually just watched "Noel" again tonight, because my dad's still looking through my DVDs as though all his Christmases have come at once. (We also got through "In The Shadow of Two Gunmen", and why have I never noticed before that when Josh is coming out of the anaesthesia, Bartlett is stroking his hair? It's adorable.)

Yes, coming back from the totally unnecessary digression, I'm now thinking that we get people to request like this. They specify a fandom, a character, and a mental state or "spark" word, so, for example, Slings & Arrows, Geoffrey Tennant, breakdown.

But to keep off the obscurity, they make as many requests as possible - although it can be as few as two - and make sure that at least one of their requests is in a non-obscure fandom, i.e., HP, Supernatural, Firefly, etc. I guess we can only ask people to use their judgement on that, so as well as S&A, I'd say, I'd also put, say, Supernatural, Sam, dreams, for the next bit, and if I were feeling generous, also Firefly, Mal, grief.

Am I making any sort of sense here? I kind of want to avoid a masterlist of "big" fandoms, because to be honest, I don't feel qualified to make one, as I totally forgot about House! And Scrubs too, despite just having seen the Ben episodes a couple of weeks ago. (I think maybe I've repressed the sheer level of waaaaaaaah.)

Okay. Deep breaths. I can do this, right? I can do this.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

Oh, "Noel." You know, that was one of the first episodes I saw on the air, and certainly one of the ones that sold me on the show. I remember sitting in the living room with my room watching it in utter silence, and then turning to each other at the end and just exhaling in tandem. What a great piece of storytelling.

Sounds good to me! Have you decided if you're going to go for more of an exchange-style ficathon or more of a free-for-all prompt one?

I kind of want to avoid a masterlist of "big" fandoms, because to be honest, I don't feel qualified to make one,

That makes sense. Better to avoid alienating people by leaving their fandoms off the list.

You can do this. I am here to help in any way at any point. (I mean, any point I'm not working. Which is... not many points, but I have evenings! And daytime email half the week.)

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

abyssinia4077 just reminded me that an exchange might not be the way forward, because of course there will be some mental states that people won't want to write about for personal reasons. Which brings me round to prompts rather than exchange, and now I'm confused again. (Sigh.) I've never even participated in a prompt ficathon! How would that work, I wonder - we get everyone who signs up to post a vague prompt, then get people to claim off a list, crossing off as I go?

But perhaps I could avoid the above problem by making everyone submit as many requests as possible? That way we'd hopefully escape the scenario where someone's trapped into writing something they really don't want to write.

Argh, it's two am and I'm thinking out loud at you! I'm a bit stuck on this point now.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, my personal experience with prompt-based ficathons is mostly from oz_magi. Here (http://oz-magi.livejournal.com/14394.html)'s the explanatory post from the year that I did it. Now, I don't know how much anonymity you want to maintain, so this could get more or less complex, but the basic procedure was:

1. People emailed the moderator(s) with a set of requests in a given format. For oz_magi you were allowed two requests that included pairing/character, a keyword, and a few other specifications. Depending on how the challenge is laid out, though, this could be different--for example, instead of going through email, there could just be a post with screened comments for all the requests, which only you would see.

In oz_magi, you didn't have to offer to write in order to request, which had its pros and cons. Pro: there was little chance of there being no prompts you could write, as there were usually a lot of them. Con: you have to have reliable pinch-hitters or people willing to double up on prompts if you don't have enough individual writers.

2. A complete numbered list of prompts was posted after a set submission deadline. Participating writers emailed (again, you could do screened comments) the moderator with a prioritized list of three sets of prompts they'd be willing to do--because each requester's set of prompts were taken as a whole. Sort of like yuletide, if you follow me. (See this entry (http://oz-magi.livejournal.com/15201.html) for the instructions given.)

3. The moderator then assigned sets of prompts based on people's lists. If someone's #1 choice had already been taken, his/her #2 choice was assigned, and so on. Then you were notified of your assignment via email.

4. Writers chose one (or more, if desired!) of the prompts in their set.

5. When stories were finished, they were emailed to the moderator, and the moderator posted them to the oz_magi journal. Since it was a personal journal rather than a community, the stories could remain anonymous until the reveal, when the moderator posted a list of who had written what. Simpler strategy: if you don't care about writers' anonymity at posting time, you could just do a masterlist post where people comment with links, or even a community.

...Sorry, that was really long. Anyway, that's been my experience with a prompt-based ficathon, and it worked out quite well.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! I'm really tempted. Really, really tempted. I initially thought about doing an S&A ficathon, but no, I need a whole new level of crazy. (I could do both, but you'd have to save me from myself.) And I do need a project right now. Watch me talk myself into it... :)

Dead men and crazy men! What I find amazing is how normal is all seems after a while spent in Geoffrey's head. And the passion, oh, yes. The bit where he starts talking about his father, and about Charles, and how the experience prompted him to pursue "this life" - I love that. He doesn't say he was inspired to be an actor, or a director, or even to be in the theatre. It's his whole life, which he lives out of prop storage for, which he went crazy for - I love that.

Re: It's much lighter without the ego.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

(I could do both, but you'd have to save me from myself.) And I do need a project right now. Watch me talk myself into it... :)

I see that, while I was asleep/commuting, you already have. :) I APPROVE.

The bit where he starts talking about his father, and about Charles, and how the experience prompted him to pursue "this life" - I love that.

Ohgod. That is, actually, the single moment that moved me most in the entire show. It was kind of embarrassing. Geoffrey said that bit about seeing his father crying, and then he started crying... and then I started crying. Chain reactions, man, they're dangerous that way.

(I am breaking my hitherto stringent rule about No LJ at Work to read your journal and your journal only. That's how excited I am about this.)

[wishfulaces.livejournal.com]

I still want to do a multifandom ficathon of this sort, with the subversion of sanity as the main theme, if a) there was sufficient interest and b) I figured out the logistics.

Ooooh, I would totally go for that. You haven't seen Invisible Man, have you? Darien Fawkes is another one with madness hovering constantly over him and on occasion taking him over (and so, for that matter, is his partner Bobby Hobbes). Fitz Kreiner in the Doctor Who books would probably also fall into that PTSD category, with all the crap he went through, and then there's River Tam in Firefly...

One of my fascinations is with extreme emotion and how it turns a person inside out/makes the normal rules of society no longer apply. (Grief is one of the big emotions that, to me, says "screw it," and, well, it seems to me that some of Geoffrey Tennant's madness stems from grief...)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

No, I haven't! I really need to make a proper list. And ooh, River! I'd completely forgotten about her.

(Grief is one of the big emotions that, to me, says "screw it," and, well, it seems to me that some of Geoffrey Tennant's madness stems from grief...)

Ah, now, that's interesting and a dimension I hadn't thought of. Geoffrey feels everything so deeply, and he had all that euphoria mixed up with all of what Oliver and Ellen did to him... interesting. How would you analyse it?

[skipthedemon.livejournal.com]

Just watched all 18 episodes of S&A a week or so ago. Truly amazing.

God yes, that scene with the 8-year-old stabbing each other is just about the creepiest thing ever. Way creepier than "Blink" I thought.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, it really is. *g* It seems to be a tiny fandom, though, which is a real shame.

The thing about the school production that gets to me is that it's probably quite normal and mundane - it gets this new dimension of horror because we're seeing it through the distorting lens of Geoffrey. Which opens up the idea that perhaps other quite normal and mundane things unleash horror in Geoffrey's head, and that's why he occasionally can't hold together.

[avendya.livejournal.com]

I'd do an altered mental states ficathon, certainly. It sounds brilliant.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Heee, yay! I'm really tempted now.

[emily-shore.livejournal.com]

...an altered-mental-states ficathon, having made a list of examples in fandom...

How could you forget Mulder? Mulder, you know, in "Demons" and "Folie a Deux" and... well, most of the show, really...

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh! *smacks head* YES. I knew I'd forgotten someone important. And Mulder is particularly important, I think, because he's an example of someone who isn't mad to begin with: he's driven to it by his environment and by his obsession. "Demons" is still probably one of my favourite episodes.

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

See, I managed to put, "Part of various online support groups, where people get help coming to terms with their sexuality," for my university application. I missed out the, "Well, actually it's just LJ. And mostly we rec smutty fanfic for each other."

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*snigger* Oh, that's marvellous.

[absinthe-shadow.livejournal.com]

We must do it. Yes. Obviously would be most squeesome ficathon ever.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Yes, we really should! It's a good time of year, interest seems to be high - what do you say? If you're still away, I could at least start doing a few polls, gauging opinion, and likethesun2 has volunteered to help, too...

[absinthe-shadow.livejournal.com]

I'm in England now till 28th July, so yes, let's get it going. I should have semi-regular internet access even when away, too. We need to think of a few other fandoms, but I see suggestions above!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

There's a comment I've posted to likethesun2 above detailing one possible idea for logistics - what do you think? And I'll go ahead and post a poll, shall I?

[absinthe-shadow.livejournal.com]

I think that plan could work really well - broad might be good, leaves lots of room for experimentation. And do go ahead with the poll, yes!