Some reasons why today has sucked a wee bit.

[raven]

I am not feeling great. I slept for fourteen hours and am still sleeeeeepy. And I keep falling over. And I don't want to do anything except sit around and mope and watch Doctor Who. It is not a fun state of being. Well, maybe it is because I'm not doing any work, but still. I'm sure I will wake up with a start some time next week and realise I have to stay awake for three days to get through everything I'm not doing now, but, y'know. Never mind.

So I have been reading my flist most of the day, and it's making me a little bit angry but mostly very sad. Every single post is about, of course, the current LJ/Warriors of Innocence/chan kerfuffle. I don't really want to discuss the freedom-of-speech issue, nor the difference between fiction and reality and such like, because a) see above and b) it's all been said. I'm just sad because I have this horrible sense that I always get, after a while: I'm in a subculture. We're all a subculture. And for people like us, there's never the feeling that aha, my hobby, my friends, part of the shaping influences on my life, are guaranteed, are legitimate and publically endorsed. No group I've ever been a part of ever has been. Which is okay, most of the time, when we're just being loudly fannish in our corner - you can be safe in the knowledge that what you do and say and consume and create is, in its way, a tiny part of a paradigm being subverted, you know? By being part of fandom, you engage in a tiny bit of activism, a tiny bit of waving the flag and telling the world we're here, we matter.

But then most of the time I forget that. Warriors For Innocence are all very well - there are always extremists running about being crazy - and LJ, too, is covering its own arse from potential prosecution, so I can't blame it outright. But I wish LJ Abuse would make a concrete statement, define what is illegal and what isn't, and for god's sake explain why Lolita reading groups and abuse-survivor groups are being deleted. None of this arbitrary pandering to the wishes of an outside group over its own users. The problem, I guess, is that we're a subculture, and sometimes the bad guys win.

Sometimes the bad guys win. I really hope this blows over without damaging LJ-based fandom permanently. That may be misplaced optimism. But I hope so.

I am not deleting my journal, its posts, its interests, for the record. None of them are affected anyway, I think; I'm not one for the porn, underage or not. (Which isn't to say I've never read it.) But even if I were, I wouldn't be deleting. I'd be exporting and sitting tight.

And because I am a fangirl, and I engage in my own culture, a couple of links:

fandom_counts - a community which aims, plain and simple, to count every fannish person on LJ. All you have to do to be counted is join. It's at 6525 as I post this.

And, greatest fun ever: The Rodney McKay Backhanded Compliments Meme, provided by the lovely rue_du_hoquet. First there was the John Sheppard version (the Thing We Don't Talk or Hug About Meme), and now, there is a space to tell all your friends how you'd prefer spending time with them to, say, death by fire! It's awesome.

Also in news of the awesome, Claire and I spotted two of our tutors wandering down Broad Street holding hands. There was squee. It isn't wrong to fangirl your tutors, is it? Is it?

And now, because I am ILL and MISERABLE, I leave you to watch Gridlock for the twentieth second time. Woooooe. Thankfully, yesterday I realised I hadn't taken a shower, done my laundry, tidied my room or bought any food in a decidedly skanky length of time, and proceeded to do all those things, and now I can go to bed and be mopey in peace.

Ohhhh, and we didn't get onto University Challenge! Twenty-eight teams were picked, out of a hundred and something, and our captain got told that we came twenty-ninth.

WOE.

Comments

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

40 minutes later it's up to 8500+ members, wow...

The mouse in my bedroom is back. It's really cute but also a MOUSE in my BEDROOM. Sorry about earlier, btw - I didn't charge my phone last night and it ran out :(

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Whoa. 11,500!

Awww, mouse! (Okay, that is not helpful. But still, mouse!)

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

It is ADORABLE. It ran out from behind my books a few times and once put its front feet up on a book on the floor and sniffed around. I would, however, still rather not have it in my room, partly because I am paranoid it will eat my food (which is all in plastic/metal packaging) and also I am convinced (despite it running away whenever I make the slightest movement) that it will sleep on my face like my cats do. Aha.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

MOUSE. You need to name it and feed it distracting cheese. Do mice really eat cheese? I have no idea. *pets wee mousie*

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

It's already called Mao. The one seen in Ruth's room is called Tito, though she thinks they are one and the same. The next one we find is going to be called Castro. I HAVE SPOKEN.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

And Mouse No. 4 would be called Trotsky, and no. 5 Kim Jong-il...

...wait, you don't suppose we're geeks, or something?

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

Trotsky is a bit early. But yes. The Cold War has taken over my brain a bit, I suppose we need Stalin the Mouse as well. Though I HOPE there aren't five.

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

Oh and speaking of Communist dictators, did I mention how the two girls I had a tute with last week looked momentarily blank at the mention of the Khmer Rouge?

[tau_sigma]

Oh, woe. 29th. I'm not sure whether it's more sickening or good, to be so close and not make it.

Hooray for Doctor Who. Not hooray for sickness. *hughs*

Oh, and in reply to your other comment on my other comment; I was sniffing it. I was sniffing it because I asked mum how to tell when tea-in-a-pot is done, and she said 'smell it', and I didn't allow time for steam to dissipate. Hence: nose full of very hot steam. Painful. Caused my entire family to laugh, though, so I must be good for something. :)

[tau_sigma]

Oh, and, err, that should be *hugs*. I've not yet worked out how to hugh people. Hmm.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Oh no! Your poor nose! I have the remnants of a perfectly triangular burn on my hand, from similar causes...

[tmpe5t.livejournal.com]

"Understand we can never belong" Said Richey before he buggered off...

What's a warrior for innocence? I'd go and look but i'm at work... Sounds a bit of an oxymoron. Hey, how's this for feminist theory guff (bearing in mind i am a bloke with a comprehensive school education) 14 year old size 'zero' models being promoted as the 'ideal' of womanhood, no wonder there seems to be such a p@3d0 panic... It's embedded in our culture. I blame the Romans...

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

This is a good article to start with (http://liz-marcs.livejournal.com/266024.html).

[tmpe5t.livejournal.com]

Ah, god-botherers. Don't worry, Brian* has a new album out, they'll be bored here any minute and back to trying to exorcise kids wearing bacl t-shirts...

*Warner

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

WOE!

Aww. I was looking forward to squeeing madly at the telly. [hugs]

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

WOOOOOOOOE. *pouts*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

{{hugs}}

I, too, have simply joined fandom_counts and sat back to watch what happens. I suspect-- given what's been appearing when people start doing research on this Warriors for Innocence group-- that I'll be poking into the dark underside of American Christianity quite soon. But I have an exam on Locke at 4:30 today so I'm refusing to be worried about anything else.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

It's reached 30,000 now. I'm impressed.

Good luck on the exam!

[amchau.livejournal.com]

It's all over now. If I pass (and so far I haven't had lower than a 2:1 mark...), no more exams until Jaunary. I'll be home from 15th June; do you have plans for the summer?

[outintherain.livejournal.com]

I just made 23,229 over at fandom_counts Impressive!

Aware that I haven't commented in a while... had a run in with Bill Gates... he came off worse... somewhere in that black heart of his... and if not, there's always hope in karma and the fact that I at least didn't pay for a new operating system...

Gutted over University Challenge :( I'd love to see someone counter one of Paxman's snippy comments... just once...

The Rodney meme is brilliance... I'd do it if I thought any of my friends would half half a clue...

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

Wow, it just topped 25,000 - what is the membership limit for LJ communities, anyway?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Apparently, there isn't one, but numbers above 50,000 don't display on the userinfo.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

It really is - it's now at 30,000.

The Rodney meme is FAB. I keep wasting time by reading all the comments...

[marymac.livejournal.com]

It isn't wrong to fangirl your tutors, is it? Is it?
Nah.

Our house we not only fangirl our staff, we fangirl their kids. There is truly nothing cuter than your lecturer's baby trying to put both feet in her mouth and upstaging several eminent historians academics.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Awwww! That's adorable.

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

We're all a subculture. And for people like us, there's never the feeling that aha, my hobby, my friends, part of the shaping influences on my life, are guaranteed, are legitimate and publically endorsed.

*nods* Yes. YES. This. I hate having this brought home, even in the most mild and everyday ways, and this week has just been nightmarish in that sense. Not because I, personally, am affected by what happened, but because I know people who have been, and even more because it's been made pretty clear that my community, despite being a major (monetary, even!) presence on this site, doesn't seem to merit very much consideration at all.

It's just strange, is all, to live in my safe little bubble on LJ where almost everyone I know is shamelessly fannish in one way or another, and then to be reminded that everyone isn't. And everyone doesn't approve.

Anyway! So sorry to hear about University Challenge, and also about your feeling sick.

*loves*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yes, exactly. As for why our hobby isn't socially acceptable and, say, cooking or hang-gliding are - that's a question I'd like answering one of these days.

How're you doing, anyway?

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Heeee. Yes, exactly. Or obsessively following college/pro sports--I say this as someone who is borderline obsessive about college basketball, but who thinks it's no more valid a hobby than fandom.

I'm okay. Kind of in stasis right now, figuring out what to do.