Iona's adventures with neurology, vol. 1.

[raven]

I have now had a stabbing headache for eight days, eleven hours and counting. Alongside it, I have dizziness, insomnia and strange, transient dysphasia. Last night my parents were trying to convince me not to go to Edinburgh, but rather just go to London for a job interview on Monday and come straight back. Which is all very well - it's sensible, when you have stabbing pains in your head, not to do, you know, stuff - but I was pretty much just... no. No, I do not want to do that. So I woke up this morning, stumbled around looking for codeine, found it, went back to bed, got out of it again and rang up my GP, and my parents, who by dint of being themselves, got me referred to neurology. So I dragged myself out of bed for the third time and I went. It's a little disconcerting, going into a hospital you've lived in for years as an actual outpatient.

My mother said, last night, "It's a ninety-five percent chance you don't have a brain tumour..."

...which was very handy to know, yes indeed. The neurologist was very nice, though. Did not talk too loudly, which endeared him to me. He flashed lights in my eyes whilst asking about the fog in San Francisco - I've given up asking how people know the things they know - and then wanted to know what my degree is in. "I ought to check it's not in medicine or physiology," he said. "I wouldn't want to talk down to you."

I found this, also, endearing. After a while he sat back and said, "I'm pleased to tell you that you don't have a brain tumour."

Hurrah. Also, I do not have migraines, sinustis, hormone imbalances or space-occupying lesions of the brain. The only other serious thing it could be is, apparently, renal failure, so I had several quarts of blood removed for the purpose of discovering this. It's unlikely, I am told. So were all the other things. But apparently I have just the right symptoms for a lot of unpleasant conditions, so I didn't complain at the pricking.

In absence of further investigation, I have an unspecified neuralgia. I have, thus, been prescribed more codeine, beta-blockers and diclofenac. (Most of these are in my parents' medicine cupboard already.) And I can go away next week without any trouble as long as I keep taking the pills, so all is well, save the part where I still have a headache. And the mild dysphasia, which I'm not sure whether to actually give that name to - it is mentioned as a symptom of migraine-related conditions, so it came up - but it might just be a result of having been in a lot of pain for a week. It's weird, but I can't spell. I couldn't spell "appropriate" or "maintenance" yesterday; I had to look up "diclofenac" a moment ago; I keep falling over words. I don't know. I imagine it will pass. (But yes, that is a just brilliant symptom to have just before a job interview, well done that universe.)

In other news. I am very tired of living at home. My parents are still upset that I didn't get a first. I'm... unsure what to do, about that. I mean, it's not as if I can go back in time and do the degree again. I'm not really sure what to do at all about that, actually; I don't know what they want from me, other than Not Being A Fuck-Up With A Constant Headache, but that's sort of a problem. Also, when you have a headache, and a doctor asks you, are you on any hormonal contraception, it's sensible to answer truthfully - migraines are a known side-effect, and I knew this - so I did. But only after getting up to close the door in case my mother was pottering about. For heaven's sake, I am tired and in pain and I'm sick of this.

In short: I do not have a brain tumour, hurrah, I am still leaving soon, hurrah, 48mg of codeine per day, hurrah.

Comments

[troyswann.livejournal.com]

oy, honey. Just... ow.

But hey, any day you can wake up and know that you really don't have a brain tumour is a good day, in my book.

Congratulations on the absence of brain tumour.

I wish I could fix the sore head, though. With my magic wand *swish swish* See, this is why you should not buy your magic wand from a shady guy with a truck in the parking lot of the gas station.

Be gentle on yourself. And good luck on the job interview!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

thaaaaankyou. <3 I feel good about not having a brain tumour. :)

[sunlightdances.livejournal.com]

Oh god, neuralgia. You may not remember (in your current state) how well I know neuralgia, but it put me in a wheelchair, made me quit university and gave me a mental breakdown, so I remember it pretty damn well. *huggles* You have utmost empathy and sympathy and - yes. Anything I can do.

I hasten to add that it did all those things because it was undiagnosed and unmedicated; I don't mean to imply those things will happen to you. I just - yes. I love you lots and lots. *cuddles gently*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember. (It's 'cause of you that I don't still think "neuralgia" and "toothache" are synonymous!) Thank you, dear.

[sunlightdances.livejournal.com]

May I just say how very impressed and pleased I am that you're holding down a job and having interviews and whatnot? It's thoroughly admirable, with all the stress and the pain and the everything.

Plus, I too spend lots of days not knowing how words fit together, or how conversations should work, or whether I've stopped talking and just wandered off in the middle of something. Silly brain. So, y'know, I'll forgive and understand - um. How I wish this were irony or an attempt at humour; I have gone utterly blank. The thing - that thing we were just talking about. (I lose all nouns, in my brain confusion.) Well, anyway.

Also, while not a doctor or an expert: amitriptyline 20mg. *nods* It made my neuralgia go away, and might be wonderful and do it for yours too. Prescribing drugs on the internet is possibly unwise... Well, use your judgement.

[soupytwist.livejournal.com]

Dude, if they really feel that your perfectly decent OXBRIDGE DEGREE is being a fuckup, then the problem is not you being a fuckup, it's them having unreasonable expectations.

I'm sorry. On all counts. And I hope all those things get better soon.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

They really seem to think this. It's getting wearing. Thank you, love.

[marymac.livejournal.com]

Oh ow. Hope the neuralgia-or-whatever-it-is settles down soon.

Your parents have realized that you did well enough that Oxford want to take you back for MA, haven't they? Having a first is not all its cracked up to be. Its actually pretty useless for everything except parental smugness rights.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, me toooo.

(It's not an MA, you know. It's law conversion, Brookes this year and Oxford next. It's sort of not really a degree, and so it's very very unimpressive to my parents.)

[marymac.livejournal.com]

I think your parents are possibly mad.
Pointing out that they clearly gave you a defective brain, and it is thus entirely their own fault if you didn't get a first might work, at the minute. Or not.

[tau_sigma]

Oh, Iona. *huggles* Can you at least mention, somehow, in passing, that you've recently been to see a neurologist because of ridiculous amounts of PAIN, omg, and hence you're really not feeling at your best? At the job interview, I mean. I do hope it goes well, anyway.

And living at home is hard, I know. Argh. We all need to get away, yes we do. I don't know what to suggest about your parents and the degree thing, but just remember it isn't a problem with you. You did wonderfully, they are being stupid as parents are wont to do, now and again.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, love. I'm really hoping that it will have calmed down on the enormous-amounts-of-pain front, but we'll see. And I move out very soon, but... yeah. It's not easy.

[clubhopper15.livejournal.com]

Glad you are (kinda) okay! Try ignore your parents - a 2:1 from Oxford is like a first from anywhere else, if not more. X

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Heh. I"m kind of okay, that's definitely the best way to look at it.

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Oh, ugh. That is truly awful. (And not to downplay how bad constant pain can be, but the dysphasia sounds especially awful. That would drive anyone--especially someone as verbal as you--pretty nutty.)

Also, omg, every time people come to visit me in major metropolises, they go away with freakish illnesses! After my mother spent a week with me in Chicago, she went home and promptly contracted a rotavirus. WHICH ADULT HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET. I am actually egocentric enough to believe that I am potentially responsible for this pattern, so: OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY IF I GAVE YOU A FAKE BRAIN TUMOR.

(I, too, have had the simultaneously cheering and unsettling experience of being told, "Congratulations, you present like a brain tumor patient but you aren't one!" Good times.)

Feel better. Go to Edinburgh. Tell your parents I said STOP THAT.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Leigh, it's driving me insane. (Almost) more than the pain. I can't spell. I can't add up. I just noticed something I wrote where the verb tenses go sentences without agreeing. I even fell into a proper spoonerism earlier. It is very much a freakish illness, but, like in the case of Detroit, it is psychologically unhealthy to take responsibility for fake brain tumours.

I am feeling better, though! And I am going to Edinburgh! And I hope you have a decent time this week; I have just read your to-do list for tonight, and, wow, you are amazing. G'luck!

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

Ack, parents. You know, nothing you do is ever going to meet parental expectations. If you got a first, it would be something else.

The headache sounds awful - I hope the new round of parental storecupboard essentials help.

[apotropaios.livejournal.com]

"space-occupying lesions of the brain"

I completely read this as space-occupying lesbians of the brain. Then started imagining the sci-fi film "Lesbian Brains, From Space!"

No I have nothing of any point or value to add beyond this.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

LESBIANS OF THE BRAIN. PLZ.

[apotropaios.livejournal.com]

ATTACK OF THE THOUSAND MILLION THREE FOUR LESBIAN BRAINS FROM SPACE!

[deathbyshinies.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Stupid brain lesbians. I hope you feel better soon. <3

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my dear. :)

[slasheuse.livejournal.com]

Dude, having lesbians in your brain ought to be more fun. I am sorry that your parents are being, just, twats, because it's OOC and horrid of them, they have probably GIVEN you the headache.


Can you do a different sort of pill? To prevent the FORTY-NINE children (although they are of course GOD'S PLAN IONA)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*woeful clinging* I want the happy kind of lesbians. And parents who are less OOC, god, yes, why.

Cannot do any kind of hormonal pills, they will make me madder. Thankfully a distance of two hundred miles is a very effective contraceptive.

(OHGOD DYSPHASIA. how do you spell "contraceptive"? Contraceptive. Contraceptive. Oh woe. What do you mean, God's plan. If God had a plan, it would be omniscient and godly and thus would not contain little versions of me.)

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I am VERY HAPPY to hear you don't have a brain tumor! troyswann is right - any day you don't have a brain tumor? That's a good day.

I really hope they can do something about your headaches soon. Gawd. *hugs again*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*hugs you right back* Thank you, love. And yes, yes, no brain tumour! it's awesome.

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

First, love.

Second, congrats on not having a brain tumor.

Third, I can always tell the severity of an oncoming migraine by how confused my speech, and comprehension of others', gets.

Fourth, love.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

No brain tumour, so good. Pain, less so. *cliiiiiings*

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

Here, have a cuddle. *cuddle*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie. *very gentle hugs*

Here's hoping the drugs are working as pain relief. I know how frustrating it is to have something that's a struggle to diagonose, so I hope progress is made on that front soon.

Also, I agree with soupytwist that your parents seem to have unreasonable expectations, and with you that two hundred miles is a highly effectively contraceptive--however, my experience suggests that it's also one of the very most irritating kinds of contraceptives. (Bah! boyfriend far away!)

*more very gentle hugs*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

eee, thankee. The drugs are working, but I'm still quite nutty. Hugs v. v. appreciated.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

*even more hugs*

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

Be careful with codeine.

I fucked myself up quite badly taking codeine to control migraine pain as a teenager. (I got the 'that's interesting you don't seem to have a brain tumor' conversation too!) Just... look out for alternative (by which I mean 'other' not 'hippy') methods of pain control, if this looks like being a long time issue. My doctors were shit about this, they just kept re-prescribing when I asked.

I also get very slurry-speached when I get migraine - although part of other people's lack of comprehension is my tendency to describe things that aren't there....

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

PS - *joins you in 2.1 solidarity*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Might I ask, if you don't mind, what I ought to be careful of particularly? Because I doubt this is long-term, but my usage is very heavy - I get through the maximum allowed amount every day, and have been for a while. (And today, I was suffering from dysphasia and I'm not sure it was from the neuralgia or the drug.)

[the-acrobat.livejournal.com]

Even without stabbing head pain, I can't spell diclo... diclo... diclophenac. No. Diclofenac. What is it, anyway? *googles*. Ah.

I hope you feel better soon, m'dear. Maybe going to Edinburgh and having a fabulous, upset-parent-free time will help.

Rock the job interview. You are terrific; that's a fact.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

You are terrific, too. Thank you, love, and I do hope you're right. I'm really looking forward to going away.

[sophiahagia.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Ugh. I do hope they figure out what's wrong soon.

As for your parents, hopefully, they'll get over it soon (because hey, any degree from Oxford is nothing to turn your nose up at, as far as I'm concerned). And I totally get the frustration about being home. (And ha, I just saw that you said basically the same thing in my LJ.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Ahaha, yes. That frustration has a really unique flavour to it. I hope it improves for you, too.

[pinkdormouse.livejournal.com]

But a 2.1 from Oxford is a very good degree. Parents can be aggravating at times.