every day is like Sunday

[raven]

I occasionally think that Morrissey's "Every Day Is Like Sunday" was written for the town I grew up in. It wasn't, it was written for Mablethorpe in Lincolnshire, but, still. This is the seaside town / they forgot to close down rings especially true. I may be being somewhat uncharitable. I am being somewhat uncharitable. I grew up in a seaside village, and was spared the candy-floss and rock of a few miles down the coast, and it is very, very beautiful.

It's just... yes. I left Oxford today. I will not pass comment on this fact right now. I will say that my being here is certainly not the end of the world. It's just that, sitting here at 12.46am, in this kitchen, with this specific mess on the table, this familiar home-smell of incense and chilli, I feel almost as if I had gone away for a time - a long trip away, three years, in fact - and am home again unchanged. And yes, of course that's not true. It's just. Yes.

Anyway! I am back. Home is nice, it is very nice to see my parents again - they, too, are unchanged; they brought me home and fed me coffee and told me terrible jokes - and tomorrow I am not allowed to sit at home and feel sorry for myself, I have to work, by which I mean, I have to roll out of bed before lunchtime and go and (not) sell books to people and not mope. In fact, life is perfectly fine and there are joyful things and I am having a re-awaking of my insomnia (ahahaha, see what I did there?) which is making me a bit droopy. I will return and talk about pleasant things later. First, Ye Olde Meme about me, which might come in handy for telling me about myself:

1. First Name: I'd rather not say. I dislike my first name rather a lot, and so everyone I know calls me Iona.

2. Age: Twenty-one. And a half.

3. Location: Well, Oxford. Ish. I've spent the last two years living in a college-owned flat near the city centre. Right now I'm spending a couple of months living with my parents, who live near Liverpool on the sea coast, and in August I hope to move in with chiasmata in East Oxford.

4. Occupation: Student, but I've pretty much decided I'm going to be a lawyer of some type - probably not a corporate lawyer, and I'm thinking vaguely about family law and criminal law, but law in general. Recently, I've been considering making my qualifications academic as well as professional, so I can pack it in in later life and be a legal philosopher instead. I'm still thinking. Bear with me.

5. Partner?: shimgray. Geek, likes books and birds and bad puns.

6. Kids: Heh. No. I am less militantly childfree than I once was, but I still really, really don't like children.

7. Brothers/Sisters: I don't have any, and am very happy about that.

8. Pets: Not at the moment. Technically I'm a dog person - I love dogs, used to have a giant German Shepherd - but at the moment, chiasmata and I are thinking of getting a cat. (And are not being crazy cat ladies together, not at all.)

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:

i. I just finished my degree. Well, I think I did; until results come out in early July, I don't know whether I'm entitled to "BA Hons. (Oxon)", and if so what class. Finding out is, naturally, pretty important to me.

ii. See above momentarily: I'm going to be a lawyer. I'm not sure of the hows and whys of it yet, and figuring those out is also pretty important right now.

iii. It's summer. I'm travelling and working and hopefully writing, in a way I haven't been able to in months and months. I'm looking forward to it.

10. Education: Primary, secondary, and my degree is a BA in Philosophy, Politics and Economics from Oxford, providing I actually passed. In practice, I am a philosopher more than anything else; my interests specifically are philosophy of mind and language.

11. Parents: My dad is a consultant gynaecologist who's slowly turning into an academic; my mum is a GP. Mum and I bicker about stupid things, but have a basically solid relationship; my dad and I are very similar and very close.

12. Who are some of your closest friends?: My Official Best Friend^TM is hathy_col - we've been friends for years, for all she now lives 500 miles from me. For the last almost-two years, jacinthsong and I have been glued together; apotropaios and I lived in each other's heads for a year; luminometrice and chiasmata quietly keep me sane; from across the Atlantic, likethesun2 does the same. Oh, and slasheuse and magic_doors and absinthe_shadow. There are others. There are lots. I am absurdly and undeservedly blessed when it comes to friends.

And now, bedtime. My kingdom for a wink of sleep.

Comments

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

I feel almost as if I had gone away for a time - a long trip away, three years, in fact - and am home again unchanged. And yes, of course that's not true. It's just. Yes.

Oh, dear. The fact that this sentence rings true after one year of college and not even a degree is...well, catastrophic. But mwah, and enjoy the sea. And books. Can't forget the books!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Nononono, when you have the degree it will be different! It will! Because you can start planning stuff! I am coming round to it now, a bit.

BOOKS. Spent the whole afternoon bookselling and it was bliss.

[icepixie]

I feel almost as if I had gone away for a time - a long trip away, three years, in fact - and am home again unchanged.

If it helps, I felt exactly the same way for the first year after college. It was a really disturbing feeling, to be knocking around the house, feeling like i was back in high school, after all the work of the past four years. Even finally finding a job didn't help, because I was still living at home (and, well, keeping much the same schedule as in high school). It was really only when I began working on my grad school applications that I realized, yes, I have changed a whole lot.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I'm telling myself this. I mean, I do move out again pretty soon, and I'm telling myself I'll feel better once I've got out and about am not just, well, sitting in my parents' house and sleeping in the same room I had when I was eleven. Thanks for the reassurance. :)

[icepixie]

You're welcome. :) I think by the end of my nine months of unemployment, I was edging towards actual depression, because whoa, all I did was sit around my old house and watch TV and eat, basically. And sleep. Lots and lots of sleeping. Working at least gets me out of the house. And soon I will move! And be back in an educational setting!

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the difficulty of going home after university. You have changed, but your family hasn't seen most of it, so they don't treat you differently. It's comforting in some ways, but also very frustrating.

Also, re: #12-- awww. The feeling is very, very mutual. When I did the meme I was neurotic about naming names, but of course you would've been on there if I had.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I think I've changed. I think I have. It's just, as you say, there seems so little external evidence of it. And at the moment I don't even have a degree to show for it, so it's very frustrating.

Re: 12, I am coming a loooooong way to see you. :P

[clubhopper15.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I've always found philosophy of language really interesting, it's something I'd like to read more about. Any suggestions?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Start with Simon Blackburn, Spreading the Word. I can't recommend it enough.

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, I am currently only 180 miles away. (Staying in St Andrews for the summer would be more fun IF ANYONE ELSE AT ALL was also doing so.)