raven: [hello my name is] and a silhouette image of a raven (doctor who - in bed together)
[personal profile] raven
My reasons for EPIC FAIL, let me show you them:

1. I'm having fifth-week blues early, god knows why. (Speaking of which, there are always people, freshers usually, who mock this concept. "Fifth-week blues?" they say. "How amusing, how ironic." How much they have to learn!) In other words, it's only Thursday of fourth and I spent all of yesterday weeping and woeful and finally I went back to bed and refused to go anywhere or do anything. Maria and Claire, because they are win, got me to revise never-going-out-of-my-room-again to at least never-going-out-out-of-the-flat-again, which at least got me into the kitchen and functional enough to ring the other Triarchs and say I wasn't making it to Cerberus. I feel terrible for flaking out, but I couldn't face anything. Judging from the flist, it's going around. I just hope that this doesn't mean I will spend all of fifth week in a quivering wreck on the floor, because, huh, that would be suck. This time I shall not, however a) burst into tears on tutor or indeed b) throw International Economics down four flights of stairs. That would be bad.

2. In the morning, though, I felt much better, realised I had written 1000 words on the Cold War that were truly terrible and had a tendency to use the same noun twice in a sentence, and I would have made a success of things had I not realised, three hours too late, that I arranged to meet someone today to talk about, of all things, my experience of multiculturalism, and I forgot and stood her up because I am made of LOSE. Oh, so much lose. And I totally failed to go to my International Relations lecture for the third week running, made of fail, oh yes.

3. Ben is in labs all week, so he's working on setting up a new physics experiment.

...I ate it.

Oh god. Maria said, "Aren't those the radioactive brazil nuts-"

"WHAT RADIOACTIVE BRAZIL NUTS?"

Turns out they aren't radioactive yet. And he shouldn't leave food items out on the kitchen table if he doesn't want people to eat them. But still. It's the principle of the thing. Oh god, I fail.

But. There are things of win, too.

1. Four weeks, forty-one years, far too many books and articles, and 10,000 words, but I have finished with the history of the Cold War! The truly pathetic part was me this week, getting to the plenum of the CPSU Central Committee, held by Gorbachev on January 28th, 1987, and getting very excited about it. The reason I was so pleased? I was alive. Yes, I was one week old, but the point stands.

Okay, my essays are kind of crappy, and my tutor's American and insists on actually marking them - and he calls them "papers"! - but they're DONE. I now have four more essays on things like decolonisation and suchlike, but no more actual history. I am not a historian. I have said this far too many times, but it never stops being true. I also did essays on Plato, Aristotle, Nietzsche and Hume, so I'm feeling somewhat pleased with self. It will pass. Tomorrow I have to start my first non-thinker aesthetics, and, well. The essay title is "What is art?" Not at all vague, then? I plan to sit in Starbucks all day and read about art as expression and truth and beauty, and emerge uplifted. That's the plan.

(Also, [livejournal.com profile] jacinthsong and I are going to start a hippie commune for failed PPEists. All failed PPEists are welcome.)

2. [livejournal.com profile] shimgray is a sterling example of a good human being and turned up this morning wth a laptop for me to borrow. The university won't let you connect more than one machine to the network, so no internet, but it means I can convert my thoughts into digital data without actually leaving the flat, so that's very much fine by me. And I can actually write for [livejournal.com profile] yuletide, too.)

3. I just finished one of the [livejournal.com profile] ds_match stories. Yeah, I've read one of them, because, see above, I have no laptop, I have the Cold War, I have what is art? and I am MADE OF FAIL. But. Find Me A Find, is lovely, lovely, made-of-win lovely. It's long, and meandering, and fluffy, and Ray and Frannie Vecchio run a matchmaking service, and it's lovely. Go, read, be made of less fail than me.

Okaaaaay. Bedtime, before I quite keel over. Angels in America tomorrow night! This pleases me.

on 2007-11-02 01:51 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ressie-noldo.livejournal.com
The world is made of fail! *hugs*

(Is there any room for failed mathmos in this hippie commune? Because aaah.)

on 2007-11-02 08:04 am (UTC)
chiasmata: (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] chiasmata
Oh, you really are made of fail! Apart from the bit where you're totally not, obviously. Am not quite awake yet, you understand...

on 2007-11-02 08:16 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] footnotetoplato.livejournal.com
If you think you're going to be using the borrowed laptop for more than a few days, I'm sure that you can get it registered if you email the Balliol IT people (the one machine per person restriction is definitely a Balliol one rather than a university one) and explain the problem. The worst they have to is change a MAC address in a field somewhere and then back again when your machine is fixed

on 2007-11-02 09:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tmpe5t.livejournal.com
Well, obviously the answer to 'What is art' is 'yes it is'. Sorted. We don't need know edgacation.

Potentially radioactive brazil nuts are probably art as well...

on 2007-11-02 09:09 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ktroo85.livejournal.com
*hugs* can failed E&Mists join your commune too?

on 2007-11-02 09:22 am (UTC)
ext_20950: (punchline)
Posted by [identity profile] jacinthsong.livejournal.com
But what is art? It's a difficult question because art is impossible to describe. One might ask the same about birds. What are birds? We just don't know.

on 2007-11-02 12:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rosariotijeras.livejournal.com
But they are papers! Essays are things your write at age seven to summarize story books! Papers are complicated and adult and have complicated formatting!

You're fabulous, by the way. :P

on 2007-11-02 02:18 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Absolutely. How's California treating you?

on 2007-11-02 02:19 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Oh, wonderful! Thank you! I'll talk to someone about that.

on 2007-11-02 02:19 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Yep, MADE OF FAIL. *sighs*

on 2007-11-02 02:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Oh, absolutely. All types of failure welcome here.

on 2007-11-02 02:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
*groooooooooaaaaan*

on 2007-11-02 02:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Essays are an integral and ancient part of the tutorial system. (See Mill's Essay On Liberty, etc.) And you have essay crises! A paper crisis just sounds like your printer's run out or something.

Thank you, my dear, so are you. *g* :P

on 2007-11-02 02:23 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Well, in a sense. DO NOT ASK ME WHAT SENSE, I haven't done my reading yet.

on 2007-11-02 02:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] shimgray.livejournal.com
Yeah, MAC config should do it (though it will also mean a few days lag when you get your own back) - we did this with my laptop when Amy was at Magd. and didn't have one of her own.

on 2007-11-02 03:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rosariotijeras.livejournal.com
A paper crisis just sounds like your printer's run out or something.

You're telling me that that's not crisis worthy?!

on 2007-11-02 03:37 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] nerves-patterns.livejournal.com
Any chance loserly American English grad students can join your hippie commune? I promise not to talk about any critical theory whatsoever. I've been having your fifth-week blues off and on since the first week of this quarter.

Boo grad school. Boo school at all. Let's just go be hippies.

(Good luck to you, and I hope you cheer up.)

on 2007-11-02 06:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] forthwritten.livejournal.com
Can failed corpus linguists join said commune? After all, I am a subset of 'English graduate' and therefore made of fail and poverty by definition.

Good luck, it doesn't sound like you're failing at much apart from radioactivity. Everyone has bad weeks/months/terms.

on 2007-11-02 06:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] insaneizzi.livejournal.com
And he shouldn't leave food items out on the kitchen table if he doesn't want people to eat them.

True dat. But if they had been radioactive, do you think you would've got superpowers? The Ability To Eat Nuts Without Allergic Reaction or perhaps The Ability To Live In Brazil? I'm sure both would come in handy... :P

on 2007-11-04 01:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Heh. Ah, fifth-week blues, so much HATE. Join our commune! You'd be welcome!

(Thank you, dear. *g*)

on 2007-11-04 01:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Thank you. :) You're very welcome to join our entirely non-radioactive commune. *g*

on 2007-11-04 01:13 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Heee! One of the other people who ate them spent her formative years in Brazil. Maybe they're retroactive superpowers.

on 2007-11-04 08:41 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] insaneizzi.livejournal.com
That would be cool. There should be comics.

on 2007-11-04 09:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] insaneizzi.livejournal.com
And lo! there is.

Image (http://img108.imageshack.us/my.php?image=comicsuperpowersug4.jpg)

(As always click for larger image)

on 2007-11-05 03:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Ahahaha, that is wonderful. I love me-as-stick-figure. Heee!

on 2007-11-06 11:27 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] insaneizzi.livejournal.com
It is times like these that I wish I had actual drawing ability, but unfortunately it was gifted to EVERYONE ELSE IN MY FAMILY. Ahem.

Glad you liked it. :D

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