Fic-writing blues

[raven]

My Slings & Arrows ficathon story is exactly 2400 words of mess. It contains the line: "it all seemed like a clear progression of events that had begun with Anna running into his office mid-sentence and, like the best nightmares, wasn’t over yet", and it has struck me that this does, in fact, describe the story as a whole. It's a big ol' mess. It currently has six sections, one of which is only two paragraphs long and none of which begin and end where they're supposed to, and it needs two more, both of which I don't know how to write because I don't know what's happening in them. And it also needs a dream-sequence which I haven't written yet because I poached the dialogue from it to put into another section, and just, aaaargh.

And does anyone else have that issue where you set out to write a story in the past tense and it falls into the present tense if you're not conscious of it all the way through? I wish there was some handy internet tool which would just put the whole thing into present for me, and back into past, so I could actually see how it reads, but right now I'm trying to cure myself of my addiction to the present tense because I think it's my easy way out, you know? I don't like the and then he did this and then she did that style of telling a story straight, usually; I like texture to language, something beyond utilitarian prose. But it's so easy to do that in the present tense - you have to work at it when it isn't happening right now, when it's done and dusted and you're trying to breathe life in the ashes.

And this may or may not be irrational, but - aargh. Maybe because past tense is good for plotty, comic stories, and present good for plotless meanderings, and this story is rapidly changing from the former to the latter and becoming flatter and more generic with each passing word?

ARGH.

My hawkfromhandsaw story is 1437 words of slightly less mess - it makes sense, though I don't like it, and it is the first section of a coherent story. And I know what's going to happen! I know it's in present tense and is going to stay that way, because, hello, time-distorting effect of madness. I know a handful of metaphors I like and will probably use, and I know what I'm aiming at - the punchline, so to speak. But I have no idea how to get from beginning to end. And, apparently, no impetus to do so - the story just sits there, taunting me in ahahaha-I-am-1437-words-long-and-I-have-BEATEN-you fashion.

I'm having my arse kicked by a Word doc, guys. Two of them, in fact. Please to be giving me a pep talk. With lots of pep. And maybe an injunction to stop watching television and do some work would be good too.

Where "work" refers not to fic-writing but to one or more of a) LSAT practise tests, b) actual paid employment or c) actually getting my arse out of the house and passing my fucking driving test.

I fail at life. Lots of pep. Please.

Comments

[skipthedemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I uh, almost never finish fic, but everything I do finish seems to be in present tense. Even if I didn't mean for it to be when I started.

I'm being nosy....LSAT as in law school admissions test? Aren't you in England? Are you planning on going to school in over here? Anyways, the logic games kicked my ass at first - but you can easily learn how to do them. I gained about 5 points on the test just by learning the patterns of how they work and practicing.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Yep, that LSAT. *g* I'm in England, 'tis true, but I've been thinking about American law school for a while, although I'm still not quite sure about it. At any rate, I'm taking the test.

It's the logic games that are killing me right now! I'm terrible at this sort of thing - it amuses me that the last time I took a test like this was for the eleven-plus, and in the intervening ten years I haven't improved at all.

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

And does anyone else have that issue where you set out to write a story in the past tense and it falls into the present tense if you're not conscious of it all the way through?

I have that in reverse. There's a perpetually-in-progress story I've been carrying around in my purse (it's being written longhand in a notebook I picked up at an airport the FIRST time I went to England, as I recall... erk) which began in the present tense, slipped into past, was forced back to present tense, and then slipped again. There's all sorts of notes to myself in the margins reminding me to fix the tense later. I don't know which one I'm going to pick. ;)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Argh, I feel you. The bit I hate is changing every verb in an entire fic, specially when it's already ~5000 words.

And thank you for the zip 'n' pizzazz, it's appreciated. :)

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

Also: I wish you pep, zip, and pizzazz in equal measure, mostly because that many Zs and Ps in one sentence is a thing of beauty.

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

You are a brilliant writer, a brilliant person, and sometimes that can be a little messy, a little bit mad. But just remember - madness in great ones!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Oh, thank you. And I love that icon beyond measure. Geoffrey's despair shouldn't be quite so appealing - but ahahah, it so is.

[insaneizzi.livejournal.com]

And does anyone else have that issue where you set out to write a story in the past tense and it falls into the present tense if you're not conscious of it all the way through?

In about everything I write actually. And I can't tell when I look back over it because I'm horrible at being subjective about stuff I write.

Pep, right. I haven't even STARTED on my ficathon fic. I only just started thinking about what it was going to involve YESTERDAY. Is this making you feel better?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Pep pep pep. This is indeed making me feel better, but not by much because for all I know you've had a burst of fic-writing brilliance and are currently sitting back bathed in your own glory. Bet you are. :P

[insaneizzi.livejournal.com]

I have figured out what I'm going to write, in a sort of outline-ish way but you know, these things need thought. As of yet pen has not gone to paper. Maybe tomorrow?

Fic-writing brilliance? Me? Are you sure you didn't mix me up with someone else? :P

[minttown1.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, not only have I been neglecting LSAT prep, but I've been doing so in order to write a Supernatural fic that has not even made it from the scraps-of-paper stage to the Word document stage, never mind into any sort of coherent anything.

If neither of us manages to pull off this law school thing (which I imagine we both will, if it's what we decide we want to do), we can start an impoverished artists commune full of people with impractical college majors and shared fannish interests. It sounds like as good a future plan as anything. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, please let us do this! Law school is tooo haaaaard. And also I have no intention of giving my citizenship, so. Fannish commune here we come!

Seriously, how is the prep going? I am this far from hitting things, because a) I've never done anything like it before and b) it's so arbitrary.

[minttown1.livejournal.com]

It's going... well. I ended up marathoning the entirety of Firefly and the first season of Supernatural with my stepbrother since last time you and I talked about the LSAT, so I didn't do anything at all in that time.

I took an exam this morning, though. Scored what I believe is likely sufficient to get me into a law school in my state, but still not up to what I hope to pull off a month from now.

The thing is, like you said, that so much of it is arbitrary. One reading section that doesn't quite click or a single difficult logic game can make a ten-point difference in your score, and that feels a bit demoralizing.

In summary: bah. But it'll be over in five weeks regardless.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant, no worries. You've already written two brilliant S&A fics, and they say third time's the charm. This one's going to CHANGE THE FACE OF FANDOM.

Peppy enough for you? :D

Two other things:

(1) Are you thinking of going to law school right after you graduate, or are you taking a break first? And... are you thinking of coming HERE for law school? (Needless to say, I think you should.)

(2) Okay, this?

It currently has six sections, one of which is only two paragraphs long and none of which begin and end where they're supposed to, and it needs two more, both of which I don't know how to write because I don't know what's happening in them.... And does anyone else have that issue where you set out to write a story in the past tense and it falls into the present tense if you're not conscious of it all the way through? ...right now I'm trying to cure myself of my addiction to the present tense because I think it's my easy way out, you know?

This is just creepy. Now I believe you: you are the one writing my AMSF fic. Because there is no other explanation for the fact that it's being written in the exact same way, right down to the sudden resolve (often broken when I stop paying attention) to switch over to past tense because I've been using present as a crutch for too long.

So thank you! I'm enjoying the way you're writing this story for me.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*fizzes with pep* Thank you kindly. :P

1. I'm not really sure! Right now, I would like to go to an American law school. The year-conversion in England/Wales doesn't appeal to me straight away, although I haven't written it off. I'm reluctant to put my parents under the financial strain, because there's no way I can do it on my own - but they think it can be done, and they're as keen as I am that I do this. So, I guess, I take the test and apply and then see. And the various joys of being in the States for three years hadn't escaped me, believe me. *g*

2. *laughs* If we end up submitting the same story, word-for-word, that would be cool. And hey, that'd be pretty daming evidence right there of an altered mental state.

[the-acrobat.livejournal.com]

You can do it! You are full of brilliant fic. Maybe you just needed a bit of a break in which to watch television. Then, it will flow.

The whole bit about your hawkfromhandsaw fic is how I feel about all the stories I'm writing. This is where I Fail. I've been working at my ficathon one steadily for a bit, and it's a handwritten mess with bits scribbled in the margins that say, "Wait. Make it the opposite of this because..." (I'm being vague on purpose).

*hugs*

LSATs? I think LJ is curious. :) I know I am!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thank yoooooou. I'm going to have another crack this afternoon, having indeed watched more of due South this morning. I now fully believe that every fic mentioned in these comments will rise, phoenix-like, and be the best things ever to happen to fandom. I believe, I do. *nodnod*

LSATs, yes! I'm taking the test at the end of September and basically, hoping for the best. I'm not sure if this is something I really want to do, but I can apply to American law schools if I do take the test, and er. We'll see. It's part of my Thinking About The Future Plan. *g*

[troyswann.livejournal.com]

PEP!!!!!! *waves pom-poms* TALK!!! *does splits*

Darlin, darlin', darlin' (can I call you darlin?), your brain is one of the most fabulous, delicious, remarkable things in this here universe, and if it becomes unruly sometimes, it is only because it's working up to something lovely and beautiful. On your worst day your writing is worth reading and cooing at and perhaps snuggling (multiple times), and on your best days your writing makes me hand-flappy with happiness. You can't help it, because at its core, your writing comes from a way of seeing that is... *makes hand-grabby gesture of wordfinding* ... artistic, by which I mean nothing so trite as it sounds, because there is a particular way of seeing the world that is unique to artists and that is the foundation upon which everything else is built. You must have faith that it will all come together. And even if it doesn't, it's okay because you'll still make me hand-flappy with happiness on general principle.

Because it's all about me, after all.;)

And I also have trouble with the past/present-tense issue. Geoffrey almost always wants to be present-tense. My ficathon story manages to be past tense and present tense only by a trick of the light. Past tense is a tricky thing, much trickier than it gets credit for, I think. And yeah, my stories often switch from one to the other. I find that it's often best to go with the one that seems to come "instinctually" because often it's because something in my brain has picked up on something in the story that I'm not yet conscious of. But that's usually because my brain is way smarter than I am.

*pom poms*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*is utterly well and truly pepped* Thank you, honey. You're so nice to me, and you cheered me right up this morning.

Geoffrey almost always wants to be present-tense.

Yes! Yes, he does, you got it! The bits of this story that are about Anna and Oliver and Ellen are perfectly happy to stay in past tense - but Geoffrey's POV starts to sound stilted. Actually, writing Geoffrey's POV is haaaard. I really love him as a character, which makes me very nervous of not getting him right.

[tau_sigma]

Err ... I can do pepper instead?! Pep is kind of lacking in my life too, just now.

I am in awe of the thought you put into your writing. I mean, clearly it couldn't be that good without thought, I guess, but still. I'm in awe. And I hope your fics work out, and stop being so pernickety - I'm looking forward to reading them when they're done.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Pepper will do. Sneezing is fun.

And thank you, sweetie! I wish they'd hurry up and behave, as I'm getting impatient. Believe it or not, I write because I like it. *g*

[runriggers.livejournal.com]

Okay - my lj is going wonky - when I see this up on my friends page - everything that is italicized in in something like Russian - seriously - it is not in English - it looks like a Slavic language!!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

How bizarre! I just checked out the post on your friends page rather than my own, and it reads as it ought to. Perhaps clearing your cache will help?

[runriggers.livejournal.com]

how do I clear my cache? Step by step instructions including where to go to do this!

[runriggers.livejournal.com]

Figured it out, but that didn't solve the problem. It might be the computer I'm using .... thanks for the comment however.

[cat-latin.livejournal.com]

Hi there! I'm joining the crowd to offer encouragement, and beta services too, if you wish. Also to mention that I posted my story to hawkfromhandsaw last night.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie.

And yes, congratulations! You are the very first person in the moderation queue! I haven't decided when exactly to start letting posts through - I think waiting for September to start is a good idea - so it's hanging on in there, but thank you for being so punctual.

[cat-latin.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay. In that case, is it breaking any rules to post it elsewhere?

[cat-latin.livejournal.com]

p.s. disregard the email I just sent.
::blush::

[foulds.livejournal.com]

*hugs*