"Happy, smiley multiculturalism."

[raven]

Lowri Turner on being the mother of a mixed-race baby

Someone recently linked this article to me, and I am actually so hopping mad to be beyond reasonable critique. Back from India so recently, with my mehndi just fading off my hands, the whole thing makes me furious. It's so easily, breezily grounded in the "uncontroversial all-white sphere" the author mentions, and so... racist.

Obviously I don't object to all of it - she says some very worthy things about the ideal world idea, the ideal fading of demarcation lines between societies, but it's one thing in particular that gets to me. Quoting in full:

Our daughter will have to cope with being the product of two very different cultures. She will have to negotiate her own cultural identity, and I know too little to really help her.

I am intending to leave the Indian side of my daughter's upbringing to my in-laws. This may seem a cop out, but, frankly, I'm too knackered to do otherwise. If I had adopted her, social services would probably whip her away. However, working and bringing up three children, I haven't the energy to learn Hindi or make my own lassi.

Yes. Yes, this little girl will have endless confusion over her cultural and ethnic identity. If she's human, she will. But her doting mother hasn't the energy, being too busy, to help her; and I wish I could slip into academic mode here, but I can't. I was in India and I was the dispassionate observer, as usual, because I couldn't fit in among the language and my parents' snappy reversion to their old cultural roles. I wanted to go out, and I couldn't. I wanted to be understood, and I wasn't.

But that's something else, that's the problem of a displaced adult. I was five, and I was terrified, I was terrified, and I have never forgotten it. How could you? How could you forget that feeling of being adrift, rudderless, in a plastic world where everything is alien, everything, food and skin and forks and language, how can you forget the sudden, displacing feeling that you are different? You never forget that. Instead you potter along, consciously and unconsciously looking for a culture that's not just half-your-parents', half-your-friends', but all your own. I'm fannish and Oxonian, without qualification, but what about when those things aren't enough? What do you do then?

And the glib remarks, the reduction of a billion people's cultural consciousness into Hindi and lassi. You don't learn another culture and then become part of it - it's not that easy, how could it be? You learn about another culture in the same way you learn when someone explains a joke - you get it, sort of, but your experience isn't equivalent to that of the person who just laughs. And being part of two cultures isn't a multicultural utopia, it's like being the only person in the room who didn't get the joke.

Often literally.

So Ms. Turner, screw you and screw your fucking white privilege. Let's hope you see reason before your little girl loses herself entirely.

Comments

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

[applauds] And the glib remarks, the reduction of a billion people's cultural consciousness into Hindi and lassi. I knew there was something that was making me eye-twitchingly angry about that sentence, and I'm glad you quantified it for me. Often my rage just boils out into "DASJIODJSIDLJSAODIJS!" and I can't pick at it enough to see how and where the other person has been - yes, bogglingly racist. I rather like the comments that have been left so far (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=467787&in_page_id=1879&in_page_id=1879&expand=true), yus. Though it makes me feel slightly sick to see 'Daily Mail' in my computer History.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like those comments too. I just can't believe something like this appeared in the national press. It's so... horrible. The poor baby girl.

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

I am bewildered that she can apparently assume her daughter will automatically inherit her culture, but need a giant crowbar influence to learn her father's culture. The culture that amounts to masala and Hindi. [rolls eyes] Obviously, all Indian culture is represented by what I see in the local Curry House. Not like a population of a billion will have any diversity or history or anything.

[cuddles you] You're lovely. Just thought I'd add.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grins* Exactly! Oh, exactly. That's it.

And so are you. *loves*

[vescoiya.livejournal.com]

Okay I don’t know if you’re accepting drive-by comments on what seems to be a sensitive issue, however I felt compelled to respond to the sentiment of neither belonging in India or the UK. As should be obvious delete at will.

Touch of context I know of you and we’ve met in person once very very briefly via [Bad username or site: ”narahttbbs” @ livejournal.com]. So I’m over here as a friend of a friend. I’m also as pale as people come in case it matters.

A couple of reasons for a response:

1) I deeply feel you when you say that multiculturalism is being the only person in the room who doesn’t get the joke. When I go back to Australia, I’m suddenly left trying to negotiate cultural norms that I left behind a decade ago and in particular a style of life. However, when asked about cultural identity I’d state Australian, partially as no Italian ever would accept from me a statement that I was Italian. However when it comes to cultural behavioural norms Italian norms are what I know and are most familiar. So I don’t really fit in either location. I also emphasis deeply with your statement about being a displaced person, it rings very true to me. Thank you for expressing the feelings that go along with the situation so eloquently.

2) The women in the article is speaking such a load of bull. I guess what really offends me personally about the Lower Turner article is that it implies that skin colour is somehow equated to culture. If she had children with anyone from a different cultural background then the child would have to negotiate multiculturalism. It is inexcusable to use it is so hard for a child to cope with two nationalities as a cover for racism. Any worry about your child’s skin tone getting darker is a racial concern not a multiculturalism concern. Also it is ridiculous to indicate you cannot see similarities across skin tones.

3) I agree so heartily with your statement that culture is so much more then just going through the motions and it is ridiculous and offensive to pretend that Indian culture is Lassi and Hindi. That sort of statement indicates a fundamental unawareness of the rules of engagement when it comes to any society but their own and how fundamentally different the rules can be.

Sorry for the length, I guess I just wanted to indicate support in a long and roundabout fashion.