This entire entry is an excuse to use this icon.

[raven]

Last weekend, I was in New York doing OMG Redux. This weekend I am curled up in the kitchen, revising for collections. There is some profound significance in this juxtaposition of statements, but I can't be bothered to figure out what it is. And oh, I know nothing about political theory, nothing at all, and even less about IR, and yes I am aware that my entire flist is awash with collections-related woe, but still. Collections are horrible. They are pointless and horrible and I am so very doomed.

And the last half an hour or so, I have spent finishing and posting my remix, and it's awful. It's terrible fiction. It has no point, and no real ending, and I hate it. There aren't even any good lines in it. The problem is the original story was great on its own, it didn't need to be remixed. And thus my remix has no real point to it, other than being a different receptacle for the same dialogue. Quite possibly I'll like it better when the stories go public, but quite possibly not.

And speaking of loathing one's own writing, oh I do hate revising for collections. Most of all I hate reading my own essays, which are always long and really, really boring. I nearly put myself to sleep with the Michaelmas sexuality-and-gender essay, which does not bode well for all my other essays. I'm just not working very productively right now, which is bad, which is very bad, because I have two collections and two essays to do in the next week or so, but I can't help it.

(Actually, I came to a realisation last night. It goes like this. It does not matter, in the greater or lesser schemes of things, if I don't do anything during the summer that will go on my CV, and I don't have to stay in Oxford. I've had a good year, CV-wise, and I can spend July and August at home, working at Pritchard's on the lovely still summer afternoons, selling books - which is what I do best, really; I'm not cut out for anything more exacting - and that's all I have to do. I don't have to do anything else. I can write fic and catch up with my philosophy reading. I can go for walks by the sea.

Which is a lovely realisation to have had; it means I can get through this term knowing there's peace on the horizon, and that's always good.)

Er, what else? I have seen some of Doctor Who, but not all; I went out for a meal with my parents last night and had to take a shower in the middle. So I missed the plotty bits, but saw all the character bits (I think). And in the absence of a proper review for Gridlock, I will just say "Oh, Doctor," and leave it at that. That was sad. There's no other word for it. It's all wistful and self-loathing and angsty and oh.... oh, oh. And I really love Martha. She's marvellous. She's all self-contained and witty and cool. I have much love, and possibly a girlcrush.

Okay. I am unproductive. I'm going to bed.

Comments

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

I will just say "Oh, Doctor," and leave it at that.

I wish to hug him tightly. Not that there's anything self-serving about this, oh no.

And then I want to give him a kitten.

(They're being a tad inconsistent on the Doctor and cats, I must say -- he liked the cat well enough in The Empty Child, didn't in Fear Her, and now this, with the kitten-cuddling... I think I'm coming down on the side of kitten-cuddling. 'cause, um... kittens. Yes, I am hopelessly incoherent in the face of cute, and that's all there is to it.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I want to hug him too. A lot. He needs to be grabbed and squished. And ooh, kittens! I got all melty when he picked them up. Kitten-cuddling!Doctor for the win.

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

Well, I, for one, am very excited to read your Remix, having heard such tantalizing hints about it. :) I'm sure it's lovely--how could it be otherwise?

(Totally unrelated PS: is that Thea Gilmore covering Van Morrison in your Current Music field?! Or just an original song titled "Crazy Love"?)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Oh, you wait. It is awwwwwful. (I'm intrigued about yours! I've never seen you do a remix before, and I'm very keen to see what you do with it.)

(Thea Gilmore covering Van Morrison, yes it is! You want me to send it to you?)

[likethesun2.livejournal.com]

If yours is awful, I don't want to think about mine. You know how late I was starting it. :) (I've never done a remix before! And the story is very far from what I usually do... but I think if anyone on LJ will be able to recognize it, it'll probably be you.)

(OMG YES PLEASE.)

[amchau.livejournal.com]

With regards to Remix, plese consider the advice which ellen_kushner has just posted (http://ellen-kushner.livejournal.com/101674.html?nc=9&style=mine): Done Is Good.

It does not matter, in the greater or lesser schemes of things, if I don't do anything during the summer that will go on my CV, and I don't have to stay in Oxford. I've had a good year, CV-wise, and I can spend July and August at home, working at Pritchard's on the lovely still summer afternoons, selling books - which is what I do best, really; I'm not cut out for anything more exacting - and that's all I have to do.

Well done for finally realising this. I tried to tell you when we met in London, but it's best if you've worked it out yourself. :)

Good luck with your essays and collections, whatever they are, though I'm sure you don't need it. I expect to be in every evening in the next week if you have time to talk.

Re. DW: did you see the elderly lesbian carspotter? I may have been slightly excited about the elderly lesbians.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Am back in Ox now, so time is a bit of a problem! Maybe next week I'll be less rushed off feet - right now I have collections woooooe.

The elderly lesbian carspotters were LOVE, yes they were.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping your collections don't turn out too woefully. :) Let me know when you have time to talk.

Ah, dear elderly lesbian carspotters. There should be fic.

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

In my entire Oxford career, I only managed to successfully complete and pass something like two sets of collections. I slept through one set. I failed one so badly my tutors refused to mark it because they said it would upset me....

And kittens! On Dr Who! There were kittens! A basket full of gratutitous kittens!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*g* In my entire Oxford career, I only have two sets of collections. I'm just getting paranoid because I'm not used to them.

KITTENS. I melted into a pile of goo.