Fifth-week blues, redux reloaded whatever

[raven]

I got up this morning at eight, walked once around my dim, messy, full-of-dirty-crockery, grey-lit room, and went back to bed. I woke up again around one in the afternoon and haunted the flat for a while, feeling a lot like some sort of solid, cake-eating ghost. The view out of the kitchen window was stunning in a washed-out sort of way - fog creeping over the edges of the Master's Field and smearing bare trees against the sky - and I said later that we should probably take a picture and caption it "Fifth-week Blues."

It's Monday - well, it's three am, it's Tuesday - of fifth week, and I am feeling it. Urrrgh. I seem to have spent the day stumbling around Oxford in the thick, surreal fog and got nothing done. Consequently I had the proverbial essay crisis - I seem to be having them twice a week nowadays - having spent most of the weekend not reading but staring at the wall, and now it is three in the morning and I am feeling sufficiently self-destructive to keep myself awake forever. Which is stupid and ridiculous, because I have about two dozen errands to run tomorrow and a lot of reading to get through before the quiz in the evening, writing it up for Cherwell, and the American midterm elections overnight. I told Pedar that I'd be watching it, and he said to take lots of wine, it would be depressing. That said, Sam has a sort of puppy-dog optimism about him regarding the Democrats' chances. I am steadfastly not getting my hopes up; I'm just going to go with Claire and Sam to the Union and sit there and drink until four, and it'll apparently be American-themed in that they'll be giving out unlimited hot dogs and Budweiser (urgh).

Actually, my whole week is very busy. Hopefully it'll be busy enough for me to forget it's fifth week. This place is pretty hectic because Carousel's first night is tomorrow, and Pat and Ben are frantic. Speaking of which, I'd appreciate some advice from you all. Claire solicited this advice from me, on the grounds that I'm the only one of us who has ever studied moral philosophy at Oxford, but this doesn't help me much. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

This is the problem. Ben is ill. He is really ridiculously ill; he tramped in out of the freezing cold after a full day of dress rehearsal tonight and fell with worrying finality into a chair. Seeing as he always complains mutedly about being fussed over by a bunch of girls - I said, "Make some friends who aren't girls and see how you like it!" - I trotted over to his side of the table and put a hand to his forehead. And realised that he's not just mildly out of it, he's burning up, and should be in bed for a couple of days. But he's in a musical this week! There are five evening performances and two matinées, complete with energetic dance routines and (solo) singing, and he's got to go to nine am lectures and tutes all week as well, which involve tramping about in the sub-zero cold.

And on principle, Ben doesn't take paracetamol, aspirin, ibuprofen, any type of painkiller. If I remember rightly, the rationale is that he doesn't want to mask pain; he'd rather feel it authentically. I don't recall it exactly, but it is there, and he hasn't taken any painkillers in years. I actually quite admire this, because he sticks to it even when very obviously in pain. And right now he looks absolutely miserable.

So here is the problem. He is, at the moment, so far on the other side of lucid that it would be very easy to do what Claire wants to do, which is to accidentally-on-purpose switch his tea for Lemsip and maybe crumble paracetamol tablets into it. I think this would be wrong, even if he does keel over in mid-performance, and Claire thinks it would be wrong not to, for reasons of him keeling over in mid-performance. It is a problem, and I bet fifth week has something to do with the general under-the-weather-ness of it all. I'd appreciate some opinions.

Er, okay. Things could be worse. Fifth week of Trinity, I threw a six-hundred page textbook down the attic stairs and collapsed into tears in Balliol hall. Things could definitely be worse. But still. I am, I think, in the mood for an impromptu love-in to combat the grey. I love you all, flist - you are awesome and clever and funny and all-round fabulous. And I do love my flatmates, because they have collectively decided that the only way to combat the grey is to continuously have something baking, so we have abundant amounts of fairy cakes and flapjacks and rosemary-raisin-bread falling around the kitchen, and I even love Oxford in fifth week, because it will insist on being so damn beautiful about it.

So there, fifth-week blues. Urrrrrrgh.

Comments

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, and I'm sorry the grey has come back. I have resolved--RESOLVED, I tell you--to deal with my towering stack of to-mail packages tomorrow, so you will hopefully be getting something from me relatively soon.

I would fall on the not-slipping-drugs-into-people's-drinks side of the debate, myself. It seems to me it should be his decision, even it if is a stupid one. (And as someone who doesn't take pain meds unless they're absolutely necessary, I do kind of see where he's coming from.)

Also, oh god, please do not shatter my own fragile illusions about the Democrats' chances tomorrow! :D I cannot handle another fraudulent traumatic election. Ohio 2004 was bad enough. All that aside, it makes me weirdly happy you'll be watching.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you. I think I need the cheering-up. Also, please do email me your mailing address! I have a few things I want to send to you, and if sent now they should still make it this semester.

*nods head* I thought that too. It is just not funwatching him stumble painfully into things, stupid boy. At least we got him to go to bed and stay there all the time he isn't performing.

And, lastly: WE WON THE HOUSE OMG OMG! EEEEE!

[wishfulaces.livejournal.com]

It's probably horrible of me, but GET HIM DRUGS. The show must go on and all that, and it's a bit hard to do when one of the actors is passed out stage right. At least make him sleep every single bloody chance he gets. Which is of course impossible, I realize, but...

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* We have tried with the drugs, but making him sleep was much more successful. He's curled up in bed all day now, and thank god for that.

[wishfulaces.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank goodness. Sleep will definitely help. Will he object even to vitamins? Echinecea, something like that? I suppose he would...

[that_mireille]

I think I'm with you. I mean, if he's awake enough to argue with, argue with him about "the show must go on," and try to get him to agree to it, but I'm very very troubled by the idea of slipping someone drugs they don't want, even something as tame as paracetamol. (I think I am going to stop being American when it comes to that particular drug, because I can spell "paracetamol.")

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I prevailed, and there was no drugging. There was, however, much emotional blackmail. :) He's been forced into bed and not allowed to get up unless he's performing. Poor boy.

[that_mireille]

Emotional blackmail troubles me far less. *g* At least he's in bed where he belongs, and therefore might actually make it through his performances.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

{{{hugs}}} Love you too.

I am currently studying moral philosophy (including Mill, your old friend-- can you please explain to me why you fangirl him? he's long-winded and boring and okay, he has some neat ideas but how on earth can you fangirl a man with a prose style like that?), and it's not exactly helping me decide what you should do about Ben.

I'm wondering if there's medical help you can get him which doesn't involve drugs-- e.g. ring the NHS helpline and ask what you should do. It's possible his temperature is high enough (if he's not lucid, this sounds likely) that he should be prescribed something to bring it down; they might be able to recommend something which isn't also a painkiller, though most of them are. The choice would then be out of your hands and in the care of a professional-- your position in that case is very defensible (you were worried and took action without contravening his express wishes).

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*loves* Email should be forthcoming.

Mill is GREAT. Compared to Locke and Hobbes, he's clear and lucid, and On Liberty is his best piece, and I just love it. It doesn't tell us what to do about Ben, but gives us an objective criterion and whatnot.

Thanks for this advice; I did keep it in mind as long as he was loopy, but thankfully the fever came down somewhat on its own so now he's wan and a bit grumpy but better.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

No e-mail has arrived yet, but you only said this half-an-hour ago. I do, however, have things to say to you in e-mail, so I shall await same impatiently.

Perhaps it's just Utiliarianism which is the problem. I can't judge Locke or Hobbs yet, having never read them (though there's a joke about Hobbes in Sandman, which has to count for something; for or against, I don't know).

I'm glad to hear he's better now. You're welcome to the advice; I enjoying holding opinions so much that I give them out for free (much to the exasperation of certain seminar leaders).

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

Think you should stick to your intuition; it's a choice to be respected, and even if he's under a lot of strain there are better ways to lessen it (do his directors/tutors know how ill he is? emailing them if he's the sort of person who won't might be a start). Also, you should NOT have to fix him and trying to might make things worse; he should have people he knows through the play who will make that part of his life as doable as possible, and the best thing you can do is probably keep on patting him at home and making hot drinks.

See you tonight. *hug*

Also, rosemary and raisin? Interesting.

(also also ahahahaha I just discovered the word/neologism sociodicy and am using it MORE THAN IS SANE ahem)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Thank you, dear. I did prevail, in the end, and gave him lots and lots of tea with honey, and apparently first night went well.

Rosemary and raisin, yeah! Sounds bad, but actually was very good. And I hope you are less tired this morning. (OU3FS came a resounding last, by the way!)

[jacinthsong.livejournal.com]

Good to hear. Is the silly boy going to the doctors? Hopefully they will point out that reducing fever =/= masking pain. Also, is he getting enough liquids throughout the day? Sports drinks are best for fevers, IIRC.

Put the pictures up, biatch! *hearts*

[anotherusedpage.livejournal.com]

*shrug* I swapped someone's innocuous drink for heavy duty painkillers once. Seemed like the thing to do at the time.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Happily, I wasn't driven to such measures this time.

[chiasmata]

Blues are bad. I'll see you later on. Also, I'd go with the no-drugging.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I already said, but yes, there was no drugging, and he's actually feeling a little better.

[marymac.livejournal.com]

I can see his point, but if he has flu he's being an eejit. At least keep forcing hot lemon down him, even if you can't get him to take anything else. Although, paracetemol is pretty good for fevers, and that's what he needs it for. Can you convince him to take kiddie Calpol or something even? It'll do bugger all as pain relief but it might help with the temperature?

(Have you got any tame medics who can come and shout at him? Not taking painkillers when in actual pain generally makes things go on longer.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hot lemon is a good plan, and there's been lots of that forced down him. No luck on any actual drugs, and launching our tame medics on him would be perhaps an act of cruelty. *g*

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Make him real honey and lemon, maybe even with ginger or a bit of whisky* in? I wouldn't do the sekkrit painkillers thing, purely on the off-chance that someone else thinks it would be a good idea or he decides he really is so ill he does need to take some after all, and doesn't know that there are already drugs in his system and SOME HOW, magically overdoses. Yes, it's very unlikely, but do you want to proceed from first principles or not?

You could point out that even if analgesics are masking pain that it's morally better to FEEEEEL (goddamn emo kid), having a moral objection to a febrifuge is just plain silly. Presumably, he makes some distinction between therapeutic medicine and palliative medicine and objects to the latter: could you convince him that lowering your temperature is the former?**


* Gah! LJ's spellchecker thinks whisky should be spelled with an "e" - is that because I'm in Ireland, or because America thinks all whisky is Irish? I suspect the latter.)
**I have no idea whether I'm using these words correctly, but hopefully you know what I mean. Palliative and therapeutic, that is, not former and latter.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I was afraid that if he'd never taken anything he wouldn't know if he was allergic to anything, so I prevailed and there were no drugs. He does indeed make a distinction between therapeutic and palliative medicine, and I was all ready to have a good old argument about it, but it proved to be easier to use emotional blackmail. ("If you don't drink this hot lemon and go to bed you don't love us...", etc.)

[kuteki.livejournal.com]

It is so fairytale like outside, it makes things better, it makes me want to take an insane amount of photos and learn how to paint and perhaps dance in a flowy dress.

As my current Moral Philosophy essay is all about the lack of any moral facts, I wouldn't take my advice...but I think that I would be majorly pissed off if someone did that to me (utility? Hmm...) and while you should reason with him about taking something you shouldn't trick him. Incidentally, my friend is in Carousel, which night are you going to see it?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I did prevail, and we didn't give him anything. I'm going on Friday! Who's your friend in it?

[kuteki.livejournal.com]

Is he getting better? She is Carrie! I will hopefully see it on Thursday, just need to find people to come with me..

[lilka.livejournal.com]

In case you didn't get my text, I'm in Oxford and planning a group outing on Wednesday evening. Sounds like you'll be exhausted by that point, but do let me know if you want to come along. We'll do our best to cheer you up!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I think I will come along for a while; I've got an essay but I can leave it for an hour. Still on for tonight at the Gloc?

[lilka.livejournal.com]

Definitely still on, but location's as yet undecided - I'll drop you a text when I know where we are(!) Feel free to bring friends if you like.

[snowballjane.livejournal.com]

I'd be very, very wary of slipping someone Lemsip - I'm allergic to the decongestant in it, so I'd imagine other people can be. He should take something for the fever though - if he absolutely won't take a painkiller/anti-inflammatory, will he go for something herbal? IIRC peppermint or fenugreek tea are helpful with fever.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

We didn't give him anything in the end, mostly because of that allergy reason, and happily the fever did come down on its own. He looks a bit better today, which is always good.

[ex-artbox613.livejournal.com]

I'd say not slip him drugs - it's his choice and one that he's made when he's 100% well. But get someone knowledgeable to check him over (do you have a Nurse, for instance?) to make sure he's not seriously ill - if he's not, it's his choice that you have to respect, I think. Even if it does mean he falls over halfway through.

Just keep an eye on him to make sure he's not ILL ill, if you see what I mean! Oh, and make sure he's getting fluids and sleeping, if possible, otherwise he'll be even more out of it!

[ex-artbox613.livejournal.com]

Oh, also? If he doesn't take drugs, period, you don't know what his reaction to them might be - he might not tolerate them well, or be hyper-sensitive to even a small dose.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Lots and lots of lemon tea have done the job, and he actually looks better today. Thanks for the advice; I do agree with you, but it wasn't as easy to stick to it when he was looking so awful.

[the-acrobat.livejournal.com]

Fifth week of Trinity, I threw a six-hundred page textbook down the attic stairs and collapsed into tears in Balliol hall.
That's just beautiful. The drama! I know it was awful at the time, but it makes me want to combat my own stress by collecting together a few folders of work and sending them fluttering down the central stairwell of University College, raining on the heads of the poor, hapless undergraduate students who may or may not realise that they actually attend classes in a building inhabited by the clinically insane.
My advice is to talk Ben into taking something. For the sake of the show. But don't force it on him. Lemsip is a fabulous name and I would take it based on that alone. I suspect it's something like what I would call Neo-Citran. It really is kind of your pharmaceutical industry not to call it something beginning with N because when I'm sick, I find myself lurching around looking for "Deo-Zidrad," completely incapable of saying its name and people get confused.
Since this is about e-mail length anyway, I might as well update you on Mr. Lupin. Did I mention that I'm pretty sure his office is directly across the hall from mine?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*giggles* It was awful, true, but it is funny in retrospect. I nearly destroyed the book and almost had to pay ridiculous amounts of money to the Social Science Library. Hopefully they didn't notice. :)

Ben has been force-fed lemon tea for two days and first night went well. This afternoon I'm planning to argue and argue and argue the point, and if he doesn't take paracetamol, then hell, more lemon tea.

"Neo-Citran" is an awful name! Is it something that comes out of sachets that you mix with boiling water and honey?

And, lastly: EEEE! There must be more stalking! I want to see a picture of this guy so. damn. much.

[the-acrobat.livejournal.com]

They probably didn't. Or, they weren't going to do anything about it. I have committed some terrible crimes against library books in my time - mostly accidental - and have lived to tell the tale. ;)

Neo-Citran does come in sachets that you mix with boiling water, but I've never tried it with honey. This is intriguing and I think I might experiment the next time I get a cold.

I'm ever so tempted to stop him in the hallway and say, "I have no idea who you are but I see you all the time. I live, I mean, I work here. *points to office door* Who are you?" And then maybe, "Can I take your picture?"

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

My goodness, I think your threat to slip someone drugs has been taken rather seriously. Cold flannels on the head - that's the way to go. [nods] Speaking as someone who had flu, warm drinks and cold flannels were the perfect things.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

With Ben, lemon tea has been the way to go. Lots of it. Poor boy.

[anariel-di-gaia.livejournal.com]

Though you're probably joking, paracetamol into lemsip= very bad idea, lemsip already has paracetamol in it, so in general it would be a bad idea liver-wise.

I also try not to take painkillers, because if you take them too often it lowers the efficacy and they don't work as well when you really need them, the important statement here is 'when you really need them', tell him to have some common sense, if he's temperature is too high it could give him brain damage, or kill him.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I was joking, yes! But thankfully lemon tea has done the trick, and his fever has come down on its own.

[forthwritten.livejournal.com]

Appeal to his altruism and point out that if he collapses, he'll be affecting the rest of the cast.

However, slipping him medicines is a bad idea - as mentioned, you probably don't know if he's allergic to anything and it's ridiculously easy to overdose on paracetamol if you drink a couple of sachets, take a couple of tablets then take some cough syrup over a few hours.

Hot water, lemon and honey (and ginger if you have some to hand) is useful, as is black tea, honey and of whisk(e)y. They also taste pleasant and soothing, unlike my friend's recipe of hot water and cider vinegar.
My housemate swears by drinking whisk(e)y, 'going to sleep', sleeping as long as necessary and apparently you'll wake up without a hangover and feeling much better.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I think appealing to his altruism might result in another round of philosophical argument, and I've been arguing with him for days! *g* But the hot water and lemon idea is a very good one, and he's been force-fed lots of that.