Five things, take one
Sep. 17th, 2006 03:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenThe results of my uber-scientific and terribly important poll are in. Apparently you all like chocolate digestives the best, and you think rich tea and bourbons are teh suck. I sort of agree... I like chocolate digestives with coffee, and I've never liked bourbons since I was about three and ate a packet at a sitting. TMI, probably. More and more, I think I was a horrendous child. I've still not got over the whole thing where, y'know, I was so horrendous my mother put antihistamines in my milk.
I have nothing of interest to talk about. The most significant thing on my to-do list right now is Making My Bed. Obviously I cannot do this right now, as I am currently sitting in it, but there is a pillow stuck between it and my bedside table, and another one on the floor on the other side of the room, and I have a Rajasthani bedcover tied up with a sheet in a pile on the floor. Also, I think I've been sleeping with a packet of digestives and my laptop power cable for the last couple ofnights days. I think it's official: I am a slob. A hopeless, irredeemable slob. I think there may be a gene that codes for it.
Anyway, moving on, the reason everything is such a state is because my sleep cycle is now exactly misaligned with day and night. I'm going to bed at seven am and getting up round about three. It's ridiculous. Anyway, just so this isn't completely content-less, I give you:
Five Times Sirius Black Escaped Detention
1. A week after he'd been Sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius finally got sick of his cousin's jibes about "a family disgrace" and "bad blood will out." Advancing on her, wand held out, he whispered, "Bella, if you don't shut up, I'm going to..."
"You're going to do what, ickle firstie Gryffindor?" Bellatrix taunted, laughing. "Shoot sparks at me? Transfigure my hairpins into matchsticks?"
"I think you're forgetting," Sirius said calmly, "that I hail from the Noble and Ancient House of Black."
A second passed whilst they stared at each other, wands held out, and then somehow or other there was a bang, a spreading cloud of smoke, and a shriek from Bella's direction.
"Bella," said Sirius after a minute, "you have bunny ears under your hair."
She didn't answer. With another disgusted shriek, she ran down the corridor and nearly cannoned into Slughorn, who was holding a steaming cauldron and looked immensely displeased.
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "Come on, own up, who did it?"
Sighing, Sirius stepped forward, only to have someone close by tread very heavily on his toe. "Sorry, Professor, it was me."
"You, Potter? Is that how a young man of your breeding solves a dispute?"
"No, sir." James hung his head and winked at Sirius, whose mouth had dropped open.
"Detention," Slughorn decided. "In my office at eight, please, Mr. Potter."
"What the hell did you do that for?" Sirius demanded, when Slughorn had gone. "Bella's my cousin, I'm the one who hexed her!"
James only grinned. "Forget your bloody family, mate. You've got me now."
Sirius grinned back.
2. Remus was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall next to an outsize suit of armour currently making ominous clanking sounds. "Sirius," he hissed, "this is a bad idea. A very bad idea. No, don't do that!"
"Moony," Sirius said worriedly through the visor and layers of creaky metal, "I think I'm gonna fall-"
Remus shut his eyes. When the crashing sounds had died away, he opened them again to the entirely unwelcome sight of Professor McGonagall peering down at him. "Lupin," she said sternly, "does this animal belong to you?"
Remus scrambled to his feet and across to the large, bemused-looking black dog and wrapped his arms around its neck. "Yes, Professor. Er, I'm so sorry about this. He got away from me..."
"It's easily fixed." A sweep of her wand lifted the suit of armour back to standing. "But you know you're not allowed to keep dogs as pets inside the castle."
"I don't, Professor. Hagrid takes care of him for me. In fact, I'll just take him outside with me now. Come, Snuffles."
The dog trotted obediently after him, and McGonagall softened slightly. "Well, as it seems you've got him well trained, I think we'll let this pass. But he shouldn't be brought inside again, do you understand?"
"Yes, Professor," said Remus meekly, and started off down the corridor. The dog looked at him, head inclined, and whined piteously. "Bad dog," Remus said sharply, and took inhuman pleasure in watching his ears fall flat.
3. "As you will be aware, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall went on, "when a student has acquired as many detentions as I'm afraid to say, you have, it becomes necessary to inform that student's family. An owl shall be sent to London tonight with a message for your parents."
"Er, Professor," Sirius began, and stopped.
"What is it?" she demanded.
"I, er, don't live with my parents any more."
McGonagall leaned forwards in her chair and looked at him properly. "Why not?" she asked, and she sounded curious rather than angry.
"I ran away. Just before we came back at Christmas," he said, too quickly, "because I couldn't... I couldn't stay there any more."
"I see," she said, and added nothing more.
Sirius sat back a little and dared breathe. But the silence stretched out and stretched out, and when it became clear she wasn't going to say anything further, he felt moved to ask, "Professor, about that detention..."
"I think," she said quietly, "that given the circumstances, we might forego it this time. You may go, Mr. Black."
Two days later, at breakfast, Sirius got Howlers from both the Potter and the Tonks families, and he'd never in his whole life been so happy to be shouted at.
4. "Every one of those crystal balls is to be polished until I can see my face in it, Mr. Black."
"Yes, Professor," Sirius muttered as she disappeared. Stupid old bat. Stupid detention. Stupid James Potter whose stupid idea it had been to put soap in the Slytherins' breakfast porridge, anyway. Stupid rainy day. Stupid everything.
Listlessly, he reached for a cloth and had a go at the nearest crystal ball. The clouds of mist stirred as he looked into the depths, and then stubbornly refused to turn into anything more interesting than crystal-ball-polishing.
Tap, tap.
Sirius turned. Probably a love letter for Professor Merrythought, he thought gloomily as he went to the window. Surprisingly, there were no owl talons on the other side of the glass, but rather the misty outline of a human hand. With a spreading smile, he opened the window.
"Hurry up, you berk!" James yelled. "I'm having trouble maintaining altitude!"
Sirius looked out at James on the broom, and peered down at the massive drop to the ground beneath the tower. Something rose out of the mists, and Sirius recognised another red-and-gold figure on a broom. "Coast's clear!" Remus called. "Come on!"
Holding his breath, Sirius jumped. Instantly he was soaked to the skin, eyes blurring with rainwater, and then James had caught him, Remus was at his side and they were together, in free-flying formation, soaring into the sky.
5. Sirius was on the rug by the common room fire when James came in. To Sirius, he looked very tired, with dirt and blood streaking his face and hair, but beyond that, he looked older than he had in the morning. Something about the way he held his head, something about how there was no ghost of a smile on his lips. "Snape is with Dumbledore," he said without preamble. "Raising hell, I think. You're going next. Peter's gone up to bed, he couldn't tell Dumbledore anything."
Sirius didn't let his gaze linger. Eyes burning from the flames, he asked, "Remus?"
"He's alive," James said shortly. "Still sleeping. Madam Pomfrey says he won't come round for a day or two."
Sirius nodded and still didn't move. "Did Dumbledore say... I mean, about me?"
"You're not getting a detention for this." Behind him, Sirius heard the flop of James falling into a chair. "It'll be explusion or nothing."
Sirius nodded.
"And if Remus never speaks to you again, it'll be more than you deserve."
Sirius didn't say anything. He stared at the fire until his vision blurred, because it was all true.
I don't know how that got so long. Looking back, it's almost fic-length. For some reason, lately I've been reading Sirius/Remus like it's going out of fashion. Because all I need is another stint in HP fandom, oh yes.
Edited to add: It's a thousand words, it is a fic. Groan.
I have nothing of interest to talk about. The most significant thing on my to-do list right now is Making My Bed. Obviously I cannot do this right now, as I am currently sitting in it, but there is a pillow stuck between it and my bedside table, and another one on the floor on the other side of the room, and I have a Rajasthani bedcover tied up with a sheet in a pile on the floor. Also, I think I've been sleeping with a packet of digestives and my laptop power cable for the last couple of
Anyway, moving on, the reason everything is such a state is because my sleep cycle is now exactly misaligned with day and night. I'm going to bed at seven am and getting up round about three. It's ridiculous. Anyway, just so this isn't completely content-less, I give you:
Five Times Sirius Black Escaped Detention
1. A week after he'd been Sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius finally got sick of his cousin's jibes about "a family disgrace" and "bad blood will out." Advancing on her, wand held out, he whispered, "Bella, if you don't shut up, I'm going to..."
"You're going to do what, ickle firstie Gryffindor?" Bellatrix taunted, laughing. "Shoot sparks at me? Transfigure my hairpins into matchsticks?"
"I think you're forgetting," Sirius said calmly, "that I hail from the Noble and Ancient House of Black."
A second passed whilst they stared at each other, wands held out, and then somehow or other there was a bang, a spreading cloud of smoke, and a shriek from Bella's direction.
"Bella," said Sirius after a minute, "you have bunny ears under your hair."
She didn't answer. With another disgusted shriek, she ran down the corridor and nearly cannoned into Slughorn, who was holding a steaming cauldron and looked immensely displeased.
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. "Come on, own up, who did it?"
Sighing, Sirius stepped forward, only to have someone close by tread very heavily on his toe. "Sorry, Professor, it was me."
"You, Potter? Is that how a young man of your breeding solves a dispute?"
"No, sir." James hung his head and winked at Sirius, whose mouth had dropped open.
"Detention," Slughorn decided. "In my office at eight, please, Mr. Potter."
"What the hell did you do that for?" Sirius demanded, when Slughorn had gone. "Bella's my cousin, I'm the one who hexed her!"
James only grinned. "Forget your bloody family, mate. You've got me now."
Sirius grinned back.
2. Remus was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall next to an outsize suit of armour currently making ominous clanking sounds. "Sirius," he hissed, "this is a bad idea. A very bad idea. No, don't do that!"
"Moony," Sirius said worriedly through the visor and layers of creaky metal, "I think I'm gonna fall-"
Remus shut his eyes. When the crashing sounds had died away, he opened them again to the entirely unwelcome sight of Professor McGonagall peering down at him. "Lupin," she said sternly, "does this animal belong to you?"
Remus scrambled to his feet and across to the large, bemused-looking black dog and wrapped his arms around its neck. "Yes, Professor. Er, I'm so sorry about this. He got away from me..."
"It's easily fixed." A sweep of her wand lifted the suit of armour back to standing. "But you know you're not allowed to keep dogs as pets inside the castle."
"I don't, Professor. Hagrid takes care of him for me. In fact, I'll just take him outside with me now. Come, Snuffles."
The dog trotted obediently after him, and McGonagall softened slightly. "Well, as it seems you've got him well trained, I think we'll let this pass. But he shouldn't be brought inside again, do you understand?"
"Yes, Professor," said Remus meekly, and started off down the corridor. The dog looked at him, head inclined, and whined piteously. "Bad dog," Remus said sharply, and took inhuman pleasure in watching his ears fall flat.
3. "As you will be aware, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall went on, "when a student has acquired as many detentions as I'm afraid to say, you have, it becomes necessary to inform that student's family. An owl shall be sent to London tonight with a message for your parents."
"Er, Professor," Sirius began, and stopped.
"What is it?" she demanded.
"I, er, don't live with my parents any more."
McGonagall leaned forwards in her chair and looked at him properly. "Why not?" she asked, and she sounded curious rather than angry.
"I ran away. Just before we came back at Christmas," he said, too quickly, "because I couldn't... I couldn't stay there any more."
"I see," she said, and added nothing more.
Sirius sat back a little and dared breathe. But the silence stretched out and stretched out, and when it became clear she wasn't going to say anything further, he felt moved to ask, "Professor, about that detention..."
"I think," she said quietly, "that given the circumstances, we might forego it this time. You may go, Mr. Black."
Two days later, at breakfast, Sirius got Howlers from both the Potter and the Tonks families, and he'd never in his whole life been so happy to be shouted at.
4. "Every one of those crystal balls is to be polished until I can see my face in it, Mr. Black."
"Yes, Professor," Sirius muttered as she disappeared. Stupid old bat. Stupid detention. Stupid James Potter whose stupid idea it had been to put soap in the Slytherins' breakfast porridge, anyway. Stupid rainy day. Stupid everything.
Listlessly, he reached for a cloth and had a go at the nearest crystal ball. The clouds of mist stirred as he looked into the depths, and then stubbornly refused to turn into anything more interesting than crystal-ball-polishing.
Tap, tap.
Sirius turned. Probably a love letter for Professor Merrythought, he thought gloomily as he went to the window. Surprisingly, there were no owl talons on the other side of the glass, but rather the misty outline of a human hand. With a spreading smile, he opened the window.
"Hurry up, you berk!" James yelled. "I'm having trouble maintaining altitude!"
Sirius looked out at James on the broom, and peered down at the massive drop to the ground beneath the tower. Something rose out of the mists, and Sirius recognised another red-and-gold figure on a broom. "Coast's clear!" Remus called. "Come on!"
Holding his breath, Sirius jumped. Instantly he was soaked to the skin, eyes blurring with rainwater, and then James had caught him, Remus was at his side and they were together, in free-flying formation, soaring into the sky.
5. Sirius was on the rug by the common room fire when James came in. To Sirius, he looked very tired, with dirt and blood streaking his face and hair, but beyond that, he looked older than he had in the morning. Something about the way he held his head, something about how there was no ghost of a smile on his lips. "Snape is with Dumbledore," he said without preamble. "Raising hell, I think. You're going next. Peter's gone up to bed, he couldn't tell Dumbledore anything."
Sirius didn't let his gaze linger. Eyes burning from the flames, he asked, "Remus?"
"He's alive," James said shortly. "Still sleeping. Madam Pomfrey says he won't come round for a day or two."
Sirius nodded and still didn't move. "Did Dumbledore say... I mean, about me?"
"You're not getting a detention for this." Behind him, Sirius heard the flop of James falling into a chair. "It'll be explusion or nothing."
Sirius nodded.
"And if Remus never speaks to you again, it'll be more than you deserve."
Sirius didn't say anything. He stared at the fire until his vision blurred, because it was all true.
I don't know how that got so long. Looking back, it's almost fic-length. For some reason, lately I've been reading Sirius/Remus like it's going out of fashion. Because all I need is another stint in HP fandom, oh yes.
Edited to add: It's a thousand words, it is a fic. Groan.
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no subject
on 2006-09-17 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-18 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-17 03:41 am (UTC)As for the fic, I adore it. You've got the boys down beautifully.
no subject
on 2006-09-18 12:32 am (UTC)Thank you very much! *g*
no subject
on 2006-09-18 12:36 am (UTC)Bah! A year ago I was in India! Doing...not exactly sure since I've misplaced my journal, but no doubt fabulous things.
no subject
on 2006-09-18 01:34 am (UTC)*pets* Are you making plans to go again?
no subject
on 2006-09-18 01:53 am (UTC)Someday I will go again. Possibly. I would love to, anyway.
no subject
on 2006-09-19 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-19 03:09 am (UTC)(Also thank you.)
no subject
on 2006-09-17 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
on 2006-09-18 12:22 am (UTC)And OMG NO. Seriously? Seriously going out of fashion? Because I will start crying right here.
no subject
on 2006-09-20 06:36 am (UTC)