just nineteen and dream obscene

[raven]

Siiigh. I atent dead. I'm still here, still a bit of a mess, but less of one, now. Thank you, all of you, who commented with love and good advice and gentle reminders that I was being ridiculous. It was much appreciated and made me feel much better about life. Which is good, right? I have since given up on Economics entirely, with the logic that even if I do fail that particular exam, I refuse to fail the rest. And I've spent the day today in the garden with Mill's Utilitarianism, tomorrow shall be spent in the garden with General Philosophy, and I will not fail this exam. Sunday is going to be devoted to Political Theory, and maybe I won't fail that one either. We shall see. Anyway. Collections, which is Oxford-speak for start-of-term college exams, are next Friday and Saturday. Prelims, the real things, are from June 19th. Two months away. I can, and will, live through this. My summer, which runs from the end of June to the start of October, and will feature bookshop work, internships, lazy long days and a road trip with Pedar through New England, should be idyllic. Again, we shall see.

Anyway. On Tuesday morning, which seems like a very long time ago now, I went down to London with Claire, there to meet Sky, Ben and James. Between the five of us, we had a lovely, lovely time. The day, which was very rainy, was spent running around the South Bank, getting very wet. I can't actually remember what we did beyond eat, get wet and tease Claire about the Underground. I hadn't been to London for a couple of months - I went to meet Pedar back in February - and it was nice to go back. Anyway, at length Claire and I said goodbye to the boys and went trekking out to Alexandra Palace, which is a large and somewhat peculiar venue on top of a hill in zone 4. It was still very wet and it was a very steep hill, which led to some grousing, but at length, we made it, and I was impressed. I've never been to a gig at a really big venue before, for some reason. We hung about for a bit, but thankfully we'd not got there too early, and for once, the band came out exactly on time.

And, yes, I think I died of squee on the spot. The last time I used the subject line "just nineteen and dream obscene", I wasn't nineteen, I was fifteen and having my emo phase. But Placebo do not get old. They were amazing. They were just... amazing. I was way back in the crush of people, with Claire occasionally elbowing people for my benefit, but I didn't care because I was swaying a bit and having an experience all of my very own. It was just fantastic.

Infa-red
Drag
Because I Want You
Space Monkey
Come Home
Follow the Cops Back Home
Every You, Every Me
Post Blue
Special Needs
Song To Say Goodbye
Blind
One of a Kind
36 Degrees
The Bitter End
Twenty Years
Meds
Running Up That Hill
Teenage Angst
Nancy Boy

(more of these would be uploaded, but I can't think what I've done with half of my music; it seems to have disappeared)

They played Nancy Boy. I actually thought they'd given up playing that one live, but they did, and it made up for the fact they didn't play Sleeping With Ghosts, which is still my favourite. Actually, that's my only quibble - too much stuff off Meds, which I do like, but not as much as Sleeping With Ghosts.

Afterwards, Claire and I stumbled out into the darkness to find taxis impossible to get and buses non-existent. Being the intelligent people that we are, we decided to walk to Wood Green tube station. I have since decided that Wood Green no longer exists; it disappeared off the face of the planet sometime on the night of April 11th and hasn't been seen since. We hunted and hunted for it, all to no avail. It was cold and dark and we were getting rather fed up until we stumbled onto that comforting red and blue Underground glow; we had, somehow I don't know how, managed to reach Turnpike Lane, which is the next station along the line. What happened to Wood Green remains a mystery.

Safely back in Leicester Square, I ended up in a small Italian place with Claire (and Ben and James!) until two in the morning, slowly eating chips and getting very sleepy and talking about rubbish. It was wonderful. A sleepy small-hours wander by the Thames later, we repaired to bed. The morning was marked by obscene amounts of coffee, getting up at the crack of dawn and Claire's solemn decision that she wanted to go to the aquarium. Why, I wanted to know. Because, she said. I had never been to an aquarium. We went back to the South Bank and put this right.

And bizarre as this was, I actually really rather enjoyed it. Clownfish! Sharks! Seahorses! All wonderful things. And by far the highlight of it was my getting to stroke a ray. I like rays. They are underrated. Also, they are furry. I did not know this. And having spent the morning at the aquarium, we had sushi for lunch. I can't help but think this was probably a bad thing to do. James came with us and eventually dragged us to Camden Lock, which I was all for. While we were there we got stuck behind the barriers at the station, had to wander down to Mornington Crescent - which does, in fact, exist - and made it for the train with twenty minutes to spare.

All in all, it was a wonderful trip, and it was figured into revision time so I refuse to feel guilty about it. I am, however, beginning to feel abjectly terrified about going back. I don't want to go back! I want to stay here in the north forever and ever!

Which isn't true; I just don't think I can stand noughth week, which is all collections, and write an essay and do an economics assignment, all in time for first week. I won't have time to eat or sleep. It will not be good.

Um. In news of the fannish, I am still writing Remus/Tonks and still feeling vaguely horrified at the idea. The silly epic has stalled a bit - despite amchau being her usual helpful self - although I have come to the realisation that the part of the fic that would not cooperate is not cooperating because it is, in fact, part of another fic entirely. This is being dealt with. I have posted fic into rt_challenge, which I can't crosspost until the ficathon is over, but that is also vaguely horrifying. And that is it.

Except no, no it isn't. From tomorrow night, Doctor Who is back! Given that you all know my enthusiasm for writing episode reviews borders on fanaticism, I should probably make clear from the get-go that all my reviews will, naturally, be cut and spoiler-tagged. You may read your flists in peace, so to speak. And talking of flist-reading-in-peace, I have a polite request to make. There's been a lot of chat lately about Snakes On A Plane, which is understandable as it represents the Hollywood version of crackfic. I mean, come on. Snakes. On. A. Plane. It is genius.

However. (And there's always one of those.) I have a problem. I have a severe, irrational, primal-scream problem. With snakes, that is. I have the sort of phobia that manifests as frenzied screaming, usually in public. It is horrendous and awful. So, yes, I will not be seeing that movie. But here's the thing - other people will be, and I just recently started seeing people using icons on a snake-ish sort of theme. I am very, very scared of these icons. It is an irrational phobia. Just how irrational should be illustrated by the fact I have never seen Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, because I read the book and couldn't sleep for a week. I am scared of still mages and plastic models and cuddly snakes from Ikea. So this is the polite request, really, really polite: please, if you're gonna be using icons with snakes in 'em, let me know. I will filter you out of my default view and read you with images turned off. For the sake of my sanity, you understand. What there is left of it.

Yes. That is all. I am fully aware that I do not sound remotely rational at any point during this entry. But I'm better than I was.

Comments

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

I am just...dying a jealousy over here.

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

Dying of jealousy, yes.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I thought of you! *g* How are you liking Meds?

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's too nice! I'm loving Meds madly. It's just...awe-inspiring. Infra-Red is probably my favorite song. What have you been thinking of it?

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I'm not sure yet. I'm not head-over-heels the way I was with SWG, but I love, love, love Meds and Infra-Red. Also quite fond of Song To Say Goodbye and Pierrot. To me, they're sounding more like their old-school selves - more like Black Market Music.

I've also been listening to a lot of the old stuff, like Passive-Aggressive and Commercial For Levi, and falling for it again. I do so heart Placebo. *hearts*

[rosariotijeras.livejournal.com]

I haven't owned SWG is a long time, so I can't compare the two. :( More old-school, yes! That was something the band said before the album came out. STSG...meh. I heard the version that leaked earlier this year, and it has a little synth riff in between the verses and the chorus. I think it really adds a lot to the song; the album version suffers without it. Still a pretty fab song regardless.

*joins in the hearting*

[tau_sigma]

*sigh* University is such an odd mixture; there's the terror of going back into extreme amounts of work, and then there's the loveliness of seeing everyone again, and living in a different place again, and such. I do wish we could all have a few days without lectures and such, to get settled in each term and enjoy everyone's company. As it is, I can't make up my mind whether I'm sorry or glad that the holidays will soon be over.

Doctor Who! Where has the week gone? Doctor Who tomorrow?!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. I don't want to do any work, dammit! And yes, I know! Forget the week, where has the year gone? :)

[tau_sigma]

*nods* That is also a good question...!

And your phobia provoked really weird dreams last night... *shudders*

[casirafics.livejournal.com]

Aww. *has cuddly snake from IKEA*

The only Snakes on a Plane icon I have is pure text, so I hope that won't be an issue. ;)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*is skeered*

Can do text only! That's the only thing I can do. :P

[frustratedpilot]

Envisions you singing the following:
I Am Not Dead Yet
I can dance and I can sing
I Am Not Dead Yet
I can do the Highland Fling
I Am Not Dead Yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the Doctor
'Cause I'm not yet dead--from "Spamalot"

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I've been an absent friend. It's only last week that I quit nodding off in the middle of conversations and finished the last of my antibiotics. The painkillers finally went to PRN instead of "give...me...NOW" so I'm more coherent and able to pay attention.

I wondered, watching your first year at Oxford, if you weren't taking on too much and going to crash. It looks like you've taken control and taken measures to get the trolley back on the track before there's a fatal accident. I'm proud of you for doing that; it's one thing to realize you may have let things slip and quite another to realize that some of your work is salvagable and to try to do so.

I love going to aquariums and found out when I visited the one in Tampa that not only are the rays furry but they're also personable and intelligent. They all liked me and would happily rub up against my outstretched hand in the petting tank like cats. They wouldn't go to Simtra at all.

Snakes....*shudder*... the only animal I fear more pathologically is the earwig or perhaps the scorpion. Either will send me shrieking in hysteria long after the valiant husband has stomped them out of existence. Snakes he heaves around the yard when he finds them as though they were gummi worms but I cannot stand looking at them.

I saw the new Dr. Who episodes here finally; not impressed and will not be watching any more of them. Ick!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. *loves* Long may it continue.

Ah, yes, my workload is becoming a bit of a disaster. But it is, as you say, salvageable, and I do appreciate the good thoughts.

And re: rays, I'm glad you agree! Actually, "personable" is exactly the word. They were wonderfully friendly creatures. I wouldn't have thought I'd enjoy the counter quite so much. I had one make friends with me, rubbing up against my hand at the surface of the water. I wish I'd thought to take my camera.

I admire you for living in the same state as the snakes! I've only been to Florida once, and the entire time I was there, I was on edge near undergrowth or bushes. The same thing happened in Australia. Just the thought of them nearby is enough to make me a gibbering wreck. (There is exactly one species of venomous snake indigenous to Britain. Thankfully I have never seen one.)

Aww, that's a shame! What put you off the good Doctor? (That's him in the icon, by the way, screaming a lot and looking pretty.)

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

The snakes, for some reason, make themselves largely absent on my property. We do have some black racers, which I am grateful for because they eat the swamp rats an the mice, and a lovely endangered species called the eastern indigo (dark irridescent blue with ruby markings under the eyast) which eats spiders and mosquitoes). I'll put up with them for that. I'm told we have copperheads, water moccasins, and pygmy rattlers but I have never seen any....and I hope I never do. We're more likely to see someone's released bunny out here than we are to see someone's released python; it's not the right climate, thank gods!

I'm wondering if the US is cutting scenes/rearranging them? The episode we watched was of poor story quality and seemed so far off of Dr. Who as we knew it that we just couldn't watch. I tried a few more times but whatever they've done to it doesn't seem to be working. Actually, now that I look at the icon, I'm wondering if they're even the same series. Pity, I loved the twisted meanderings of Dr. Who.

[bekkypk.livejournal.com]

*glomp* cos I can :)
xx

[melata-fic.livejournal.com]

I believe Wood Green must have temporarily relocated itself to London Below. *nods*

I understand about the snake thing. I am the same with Killer Klowns and the rabbit suit from Donnie Darko. Luckily, I do not use snake icons. :)

*hugs* Hope you get to be even better.

[julianelupin.livejournal.com]

...you saw Placebo.

*omfg so jealous*

Also, I never thought I'd say this... but B's converted me to Doctor Who. No reason for telling you this, really, other than you mentioned it in this post (and I'd seen your fic before) and now I'm dying to see the new series.

[pinkishmew.livejournal.com]

I shall therefore not use my SoaP icon to comment, but merely nod and say that I have it. [giggles] I can't wait to see that film.

But if it was 'Spiders on a Plane', I'd totally get you, and I'd also run+hide in fear.