Miscellany

[raven]

Happy Diwali to everyone. Because I was at home over the weekend and celebrated it with my family, I've sort of let it pass me by today, which is a shame. I guess I could have gone to one of the various society things, but I forgot for a fairly stupid reason - I fell asleep. I'm beginning to wonder if there is any disease for which the predominant symptom is sleeping excessively. I shouldn't have been tired; I had plenty of sleep last night, but I couldn't make myself get up even after a couple of hours asleep this afternoon.

Besides sleeping, I had my last Economics tutorial of term this afternoon and it was not of the good. My continued feeling that I shouldn't be here came to something of a head; my four tute partners were happily getting it, where it is simple micro concepts that I should understand but don't, but I'm not, and I know I'm not, and with a tute group of five, no-one notices if I don't talk throughout. No-one would really notice if I weren't there, which I'm more grateful for than not; it's much easier if no-one pays me any attention, because I don't then have to reveal my total ignorance of things economic. Nathaniel thinks my problems will be resolved with my maths, but I don't understand why Sagar, who has also done no maths, gets everything first try and pontificates impressively and manages on occasion to give me the intution for something I don't have the mathematical tools to understand.

I am aware I wasn't admitted on the strength of my Economics - I was interviewed by Politics and Philosophy tutors and my essays were examples of the same - but I feel really, really stupid. And perhaps it would make more sense to go back and read the entire textbook again, but I don't have time. I've got to do my Mill reading for this week, which is impressively vast, though no tutors have yet got in touch, and my maths tutor is back from the IMF, so there's that, too.

(On a related note, I was curled up on a bench outside hall, reading Mill, when Bob came by and asked, "How's life changed now you've dropped Logic?"

"Suddenly, the sun shines brighter," I told him.

"I'd noticed that," he said, perfectly seriously. "I knew there must be some meaning behind it."

So he said and vanished; I think he's grown on me, scary man.)

Sagar actually worries me all the time now - according to him he's doing hours of maths a night, has done all the Mill reading and is enthusiastically planning his first essay on the subject. I consider it an achievement if I get out of bed more than five minutes before lectures and do some reading in a day. I think perhaps either I'm not clever enough to be here, or I don't work hard enough to be here, or more likely, some macabre combination of the two. I'm trying, tonight; my logic is that I have slept more than I need and therefore should be perfectly capable of staying up and reading Mill.

In theory; I'm feeling sleepy again, despite judicious coffee. I guess Mill has that effect on me. He does in the original, belonging to the Sir Thomas More school of going five lines without a comma, but the commentaries are fairly interesting and I had a nice time going around every library in Oxford collecting them. OLIS hurts my brain, but gives me an obscure sense of achievement when I do get it to tell me what I need.

One other thing that deserves a mention - I cooked! Tonight there was a charity dinner rather than hall food, and Claire, Pat and Liya (acutally, they need a collective name; for all my former groups of friends, I've had resident lunatics, mini-Scoobies and chemgeeks, so I need something new - answers on a postcard please!) decided that the best option was to cook. And I can cook. I know I can. Not spectacularly, but I can make pasta or chicken or anything fairly easy, and so can Pat, so it should have gone all right. And it would have done, had we had decent facilities. The kitchen - sorry, kitchenette - is about five feet by five feet, with hobs on top of an oven on top of the counter (you have to be at least this tall to cook, apparently) and we had about a kilogram of pasta and no pan big enough to cook it in.

Yes, well - an hour of throwing boiling water about, borrowing sieves, fighting over peppers and finding new and unusual uses for cereal bowls later, the food was quite good. Not an experiment I am anxious to repeat, however.

And, something special: fannish content! To take my mind off my stunning inadequacies, I'm attempting to compile a list of comfort food, only comfort fic. And I'm sharing, because I'm nice like that.

Firstly, Sleep While I Drive by mireille719. Mir is writing this bit by bit, as an indulgence fic, and I'm reading it bit by bit also as indulgence fic. Four chapters of Mill/Logic/Varian, and one of fic. Which is why I wish the chapters were longer. But no, read this, it is wonderful, but don't tell me what happens because I haven't finished it yet. It's this delightfully meandering road-trip round the USA with Giles and Xander, and it's slashy and funny and it reminds me of why I liked Buffy fandom so much. Nice.

shoebox_project is perennial, and so is Dr. Jackson's Diary by minkboylove. I've read the former three times and the latter innumerable times, but always with a cup of coffee and a feeling of definite self-indulgence.

Dreaming of England by Kitty Fisher. I'm not the only one who has this as comfort fic, but it doesn't fit the standard definition. It's long, plotty Five/Turlough with some horrific non-con, angst and really spectacular whumping. I love it. :)

An Interesting Little Legal Problem by After the Rain. This story is just cheerful, good-natured fun, with silly hats and Muggle OCs and people eating plaster (really).

What Rough Beast by quercus. This story coloured my perceptions of Cairo before I even went there, and the writing of it, the sheer beauty of it, have stayed with me ever after. One for a long afternoon, not snippets in between Mill/Varian/Logic.

And lastly, I like the girl_doctor stories that weren't written by me, because they're the very definition of indulgence; only it's other people indulging me, which is very much of the good. Hee.

Tell me any more, and I'll add them. And the meme, gacked from taraljc, for good measure:

Pick any of my finished stories (that doesn't already have a sequel), and ask me what happens next. I'll tell you, if I can, and make it up if I can't. Some of them I really do know what happened next, but others I don't and it would be fun to find out. Go on, you know you want to.

Back to Mill, sigh.

Comments

[gwynnega]

You are certainly clever enough and hard-working enough! Starting university is a big adjustment - but I'm sure you'll adjust and everything will be fine!

"Suddenly, the sun shines brighter," I told him.

"I'd noticed that," he said, perfectly seriously. "I knew there must be some meaning behind it."

Hee. I think I love Bob.

And as far as I'm concerned, any and all Four/Romana II fics are comfort fics!

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I guess so. Perhaps I'm just having a bad day, and night.

He's a great guy, just terrifying. *quiver* I think I like him more now he's not actually teaching me.

Oh, Four/Romana II is love. It's a pity there are no really lengthy examples.

[foulds.livejournal.com]

You have an oven? I officially hate you, being in my 2nd year of ovenlessness

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Sadly, no, it's not mine. It belongs to the ghetto; we don't have one here in staircase 21.

[tau_sigma]

Sleeping ... oh boy. I'm actually relieved to find other people sleeping ridiculous amounts, I thought it was just me. Although apparently if you sleep too much, it just makes you feel tired again, which could well be my problem. Who knows. Anyway.

Hee, joy for recs! But you are bad, tempting me away from work ... and speaking of, stress not over incomprehension. (I'm the last one who should talk about this; being pathetically pants'd over my maths work which is impossible and I cannot do it, but...) You are clever enough to be there; and you work hard enough - sleep and having a life other than work are also very important. Sagar sounds quite frankly scarily hardworking, and I shake in my slippers to think of the amount of work I haven't done yet... (Yes, I'm not at Oxbridge, so I have less and longer to do it, but still, I'm not doing enough! Due to sleep, and such. Eep.) Um. Seem to have gone somewhat off course.

*pats Iona* Don't worry about work. Everything works out in the end. Enjoy life!

I do apologise for my outstanding strangeness tonight, late night commenting is bad. Sorry.

*sends positive vibes*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I've heard that, but damn it, it's impossible to get out of bed. (She says, at 1.24 am when I have to be up at eight!)

Those recs are nabbed from my website, mostly; and hell, if I'm going down, you're all coming with me! Seriously, glad you like: they're a really good bunch of fics.

I guess I'm just feeling stupid tonight; I sort of thought I'd get over this sinking feeling by fourth week. I thought Durham was just like Oxbridge, actually, what with the collegiate system and bops and things. Do you have full length terms, then?

Late-night commenting reassures me I'm not the last person left awake. 'Tis good. And "pathetically pants'd" is my new favourite phrase. Sounds almost Shakesperean. :)

[tau_sigma]

Well, our terms are more full length than yours, at least. 10 weeks this first term, and 9 for the other two; so not that much extra I suppose, and still short by most people's standards (my poor cousin has 15 weeks this term!).

*hugs* Don't feel stupid. I'd imagine most people are, if that helps; although I know it probably doesn't. Remind yourself of your stunning A-level results and all round brilliance *g* Really though, fourth week is still settling in. I think the whole first term, up to a point, is still settling in time; hopefully things will seem more do-able next term.

Hee! I'm Shakespearean! And there I thought it was simply lack of sensible vocabulary... *g*

[that_mireille]

"Dreaming of England" is wonderful comfort fic. It's not *nice* fic, but it does make me happy.

And aww, I'm glad my fic is providing a good study-break. (However, people are welcome to come and tell me how it ends. ;) )

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

It's a terribly peculiar concept, but you're absolutely right. Scary fucked-up comfort fic, whoo.

Aww, I'm loving it, though I'm reading it so slowly. I've never read Giles/Xander before and never thought I'd like it so much.

[that_mireille]

I'm writing it quite slowly these days, so that works out.

It's a strange pairing to be so much in love with, really, but I fell for it quite early on in canon (sadly, I can point to the exact moment in the exact episode, although I've forgotten why now *g*) and have given up attempting to justify or explain it. *g*

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Was that post-torture moment in Becoming? :) That's the only time I'm ever considered it.

[that_mireille]

Good lord, no, that would have been *logical.* By that point, I was just shrieking and pointing at the screen and IMing people in all caps. ;) (And then muttering, "Could it be next year so I can write fic without feeling guilty?")

I was innocently watching "The Puppet Show," back when it first aired. At the time, I was not interested in writing fic. I was very much enjoying this being a show in which I was interested in only the canon pairings and/or potential pairings (at the time, pre-the whole mess in S3, I was very pro-Willow/Xander).

And for some crackheaded reason, they were sitting in the auditorium at the beginning of "The Puppet Show," and something in my brain went "bing."

[doyle_sb4.livejournal.com]

It's one of only two or three fics I have printed out. I find it wonderfully comforting and have read it the last few times when I've been tucked up in bed sick... I would sell my soul for a sequel with them living for a while in England as they plan to do at the end. I would sell the souls of my friends list, too *eyes you all*

[kittyfisher.livejournal.com]

That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said about a story of mine - thank you (and your friends' eyes are safe, sorry!) xx Kitty

[doyle_sb4.livejournal.com]

*g* You have no idea how many times I've started to compose a feedback email only to become self-conscious of my gushiness...

[kittyfisher.livejournal.com]

Doh... can gushiness EVER be considered too much??? Well, actually, yes... but the thought is lovely, and a serious thank you!

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Happy Diwali!

I'm beginning to wonder if there is any disease for which the predominant symptom is sleeping excessively.

If there is, and you find a cure, let me know. Here I am going on two years of sleeping more than any human being ought to--seriously; on some weekends I can't go more than four hours upright--and it's beginning to get worrisome. :)

As for the meme: how about "Love Is Not Love"? Because I liked it so much, even though I barely know the fandom.

Speaking of knowing fandoms that you write... I may or may not, in the past few weeks, have managed to pick up a couple stray episodes of the new Doctor Who. Just for the record.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

And a very happy Diwali to you, too. :)

*giggle* Sleeping is so underrated, seriously. For sheer hedonistic pleasure, it has absolutely no parallel (and oh god, you can tell I've been reading Mill). Maybe it's just the act of being a student that brings on the somnolence.

Love Is Not Love! I do know what happened after that. amchau was convinced that Remus and Hermione eventually became a conventional sort of item, Ron found out around the dinner table with the rest of his family, and on hearing that his former girlfriend was shacked up with Professor Lupin, promptly choked on a carrot. I may write this one of these days.

But seriously, that probably didn't happen. I think they kept that strange, half-friendship, half-something-more relationship going on for quite some time, because Remus couldn't commit to more and Hermione was still hanging on to Ron. And it was the ending of the war, in tragedy (as it most likely will), that brought them that bit closer together, enough to lose the independence from each other they were still holding onto at the end of the fic. And whether they actually lived happily ever after, but lingered together as a way not to think of who they'd lost, is another story. :)

Eeee! That is joyous news. Which eps?

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Aww, I like that take very much. *sighs happily* Such a lovely fic.

I have watched 1x01, 1x02, 1x03, 1x08, 1x09, and 1x10. Still to see are 1x11 and 1x13. Such a random selection.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you. It's still my avourite of my own.

Good selection there! You're missing Dalek, which is one of the best. But the whole series is fantastic. That said, you do know that 13 is the second half of a two-parter?

We will ensnare you into this fandom. *taps food ominously* You will be assimilated.

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

Eep, I didn't know it was half of a two-parter.

--However, this comment thread reminded me that I ought to check again if there are any more episodes available, and lo and behold, I just found 4, 5, 6, 7, and 12. :D

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Uh, favourite, that is. In my defence it's two am.

[bekkypk.livejournal.com]

Happy Diwali, sweetie :)
xx

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

You too. *g*

[me-and.livejournal.com]

Ignore Sagar -- he's a freak of nature when it comes to work.

And how do you have time for sleep? I have to spend all my time doing problem sheets (and not in an oh-so-geeky way -- more like OMGzors I have two problem sheets due in and maybe if I stare at them for a few hours, they may start to make some semblence of sense).

[louise-chester.livejournal.com]

At least the insomnias gone :) I need more sleep!!!

[biascut.livejournal.com]

I have a theory that Oxbridge people are terrifyingly confident for the rest of their lives because they have to beat every single shred of self-doubt out of themselves simply to survive the first year. If there's one thing that PhDs teach you, it's the feeling like you are the stupidest fraudiest uselessest person ever, but somehow coming out the other side, does actually make you stronger. It's just not much fun at the time!

Re: stories

[lady_of_asheru]

What Rough Beast is a marvellous story, I have fond memories of betaing it! And Quercus is one of my dearest friends (it was a real hoot to finally meet her in the States this year). I am very happy to see one of her stories on your list!
S