whiiiiine

[raven]

Meh, everything in the whole world is sucky. My feet and ankles hate me again, so I'm limping around the house like an idiot and can't sit down and concentrate on anything and we're out of ibuprofen and I've just had a glance over my exam timetable and there's so little time left and I don't feel like I know anything at all. It's the weight of it, the sheer amount of it, that I can't face. Chemistry, blahblah chemistry again, is the one that's okay-ish, 'cause I've done the AS and I need to somehow manage modules four and five and try my best not to fail the synoptic (I got an E, the last mock I did, because it's so hard and everyone but me can do it).

Biology has an essay which I routinely make a big fat mess of because I don't know anything and I can't write stuff down any more. I tried to leave the science behind, go and do an English Talk in Life and Literature (module 5, I think) paper because I can do those, I get top marks on those, except I spent forty-five minutes staring and wrote maybe half a side.

I don't know why I'm taking four A-levels, either. The Politics is the one that's so horribly weighty that I don't dare start, because it just reminds me of how much I have to learn and how much I'm going to learn and forget. It's the last exam, not just for me but for anyone, so while everyone else will be free to do what they want earlier I have to slave on until June 30th.

I hate study leave. I hate it. I was going into school to avoid this (no trains today so I couldn't) because it's so crushingly lonely. How does everyone else survive this, I wonder; how can you cope with an empty house and a rising outside temperature and book upon book of things you don't know? I hate the season, too; it's a combination of everything that makes this so horrible.

And to make it a bit worse, I was tidying up in the bathroom, reached into a glass without realising what was in it and had my thumb and index finger sliced neatly through by a razor. It's now extremely painful to write, type or move a mouse. I'm typing this with one hand.

And I would go out - I would. Anything to get out of here. But my parents are both of the opinion that I haven't been doing any work, which is broadly true, and Hannah says come out on a date, but I can't. I can't. I just picture what explaining it to my parents will be like, the ensuing arguments, angst, accusations of not taking my life seriously, not taking A-levels seriously, blah, blah, same old.

Actually, I agree with them half the time. I don't want to fail these exams, and I'm not going to. I'm not aiming for a specific number of UCAS points or a specific set of grades; what I need is to just get A-grades across the board, which is hardly unachievable. So I don't know why I'm such a mess, only that I am.

Oh, yes - I'm pretty sure time_and_chips is overdue a meltdown. I can feel it as palpably as the thunderstorm we're going to have tonight, or my own imminent crack-up.

...whiiiiine.

Comments

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about the date: there will be other dates, other times, and other places. I don't want you to be too overwrought. Revision is a nasty beast, I know, but it'll probably mean nothing soon enough. We have less than three weeks left of hell. Until then, just do your best, find a happy place, and give me a ring whenever it gets too much.

*mwah* You know I'm here for you, my darling.

[cscottd.livejournal.com]

Yikes.

What you need is a nice shiny new episode of Doctor Who. :)

Okay, so it might not actually help (as such), but it's still a good thing, right?

[bekkypk.livejournal.com]

A meltdown?

*hides*

I'm glad I'm not over there then!
xx

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Everyone is mess because cabin fever is kicking in. We have nothing better to do than psycho-analyse why we're not revising, etc, etc, and it's all bad and terrible and over soon. Hurrah!

(Also, why the meltdown? Although syaing that, it's a shippy community that's happy. Good point.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*sob* I think you're right. It is all summed up by the fact the bright spot on my horizon is the prospect of the Doctor Who tv movie.

Meltdown because the last thread I posted in had a lot of... tension. You know, when people are making veiled comments and then there's the whole aspect of people discussing slash in a ship community and, well, I've got a Feeling.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*grin* *snuffle* Tomorrow night will be a lovely bright spot in an otherwise dismal week.

[gwynnega]

Being a student away from school can be lonely, that's for sure. And ouch, your fingers!

And regarding time_and_chips: I wouldn't be at all surprised. (My prediction? It'll happen after the finale, when everyone has a whole summer sans new episodes. That's traditionally the time of accelerated fandom sniping...)

[taraljc.livejournal.com]

maybe a general pointer to galactic_conman would remind folks there's a palce to discuss Jack 'shipping, if the threads start to migrate too far from Doctor/Rose?

(personally, I'm tension-free where the OT3 stuff is concerned (mainly cos I see Jack as actually being all about the Nine/Rose), but I can see where some of the diehard Nine/Rose folks would get their knickers ina twist. It started before Jack even showed up, and while most of the posters seem to have warmed up to him after DD and "Boomtown", I can see how continued discussion of the threesome could make things... tense.)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Mmm, I think you're right. Half the posts being made over there at the moment (like the one about John Barrowman singing, another one about how to write slash, gen vids, that sort of thing) really belong in new_who and not time_and_chips at all. Still, I guess the latter's mods need to make that call. galactic_conman is my preferred one of the comms. :)

I'm fond of Nine/Rose, because it is rather nice, but I'm not scarily diehard in the way some people seem to be (I nearly got embroiled into an argument of the canonicity of it, which is what began to worry me). Jack is good too. OT3 is even better. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*is still typing with one hand* Ouch, indeed. I sometimes wonder how I can be so stupid.

I'll go with that prediction, and add that it might all focus on Nine's death/regeneration. That's the one thing that's really going to shake up the entire fandom in the near future.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I love you. I'll ring you the moment I do get a chance. *draws hearts round you*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Revision, I think, is when my distance learning comes into its own. Techniques for learning alone, right there and ready for use. The sheer weight of stuff and the lack of time is still frightening, but at least I have some ways to deal with it.

I keep making lists of important points for my essays and trying to make up memonics to help me remember them. They all seem to involved jedi or wizards, but at least it gives me a way to get the facts in order and ready for trotting out onto paper.

I'm not alone all day, of course. Brother is doing GCSEs and keeps popping in and out and not doing any revision. But I do understand. *hugs*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Furthermore: there is light at the end of the tunnel. Days do pass; the sun rises and the sun sets. A-levels are not the only fruit of a well-used life. June will end. There will come July, and the long hot teatime of the fandom. *puts on fake prophet voice* Fear not, and ye shall be granted peace. Fortune cookie wisdom not very useful is, but funny when put in Yoda speak becomes. So bored oh goddess I am.

[chicklet73.livejournal.com]

*hands you band-aids*

*and brownies*

Wish I had some words of wisdom, but I'm feeling mighty whiny myself this afternoon.

Hope next week's less dismal for you.

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

side-note: The trains were running today.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Great. Thank you for that. I suppose the strike didn't pan out, after all.

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

No, I did not know there was a strike until I checked the website & it informed me that the strike had been cancelled.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*appreciates band-aids*
*eats brownies* (one of my many theories is that brownies cannot be baked successfully on English soil; all the times I've tried it, they've become sort of brown-ish flapjacks)

I do hope next week is less dismal for all. We can wait and see. :)

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to wish I'd taken more essay subjects, to be honest. When you forget something it's not so bad because you just don't include it; but if the question asks for, say, a change in coordination number for cobalt ions, if you don't know it, you're pretty much screwed.

Yeah, I don't know how you do this all the time.

[Got your email, by the way; I'll reply tomorrow at work when it's quiet]

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*giggle* Tell that, I couldn't.

[cedara]

*sends good feelings, tea and chocolate*

[amchau.livejournal.com]

But, equally, with an essay subject if you've forgotten something totally, it's all gone; with a specific-question subject, you at least get a pointer to where there should be a fact, even if you don't know what that fact is. But we can all gripe about our own subjects...

Somedays, I don't know how I do it all the time.

Whenever-- no hurry.

[amchau.livejournal.com]

Ah, not alert to the clues you were. With your feelings, out you must stretch. Identify my boredom, then able you will be to.