And the new day was a great big fish.

[raven]

I begin to wonder what, exactly, is my pupose here; whether I have one or am meaningless cloud of chemical reactions or weakly interacting subatomic particles or alternatively, have been reading too much philosophy; why I can't sleep ever and wake up in the morning and can't face the day; whether one is suppose to think the new day is a great big fish or if everyone takes each day as a surmountable obstacle; if all I can do of any worth is effortlessly convert oxygen into carbon dixoide; whether I should stay or go.

Blah, blah, blah. I am a five foot four waste of space.

Comments

[balthaser.livejournal.com]

At least you aren't a five foot one waste of space.

[bekkypk.livejournal.com]

Or a five-foot-nobody can make up their mind if it's 4, 5 or 6 inches waste of space ~_~
xx

[emerald-embers.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

This is where I'm unfairly advantaged by being christian 'cause there ultimately is a purpose at the end of it all for someone with my beliefs. Problem is, if other people don't believe in heaven, it's no more comforting telling them you reckon they'd get in regardless :X!

But yes, it does sound like you're a bit depressed honey. *hugs* You're too young to be worrying about this sort of stuff! Granted, one can argue that we're dying a little more every day, but I like to think of the whole mess as that everyone dies but not everyone lives. Even if at the end of it all it turns out the atheists are the only ones who got it right and there really is nothing other than adding ourselves back into the carbon cycle, hell, at least you'll have used your time. Stressing and fretting about what happens at the end of it all is never really going to help, because no-one really knows. For all we know, we might be partially transported to a parallel universe when we die or something... 'tis a mystery. I never really think of days as obstacles. I don't really think of them as anything :).

I find the easiest way to go about things is to literally just take it easy - if there is something after death, it's a hell of a lot bigger than me, and I know full well that I'm probably not capable of handling so much knowledge. If I knew, I'd be an absolute blabbermouth and I'd never be able to accurately describe it, ever. I'm a very small being who goes about like a little virus and leaves remnants of myself with everyone I meet as best as I can, and I'm quite happy that way. I'm happy with being a chemical reaction center, I'm happy with being more than that, I'm happy with being less than that. I'm just not in a position where it really matters to me what my purpose is. All I know is that sometimes life is tough, and sometimes life is easy, but I get enough joy just from writing and talking to friends and seeing my mum smile once in a while to make everything worth it even if there is nothing afterwards. I just aim to enjoy what I can while I can, and leave whatever else there is to sort itself out after I've died :).

I know it's nothing of particular eloquence or brilliance, and there's certainly nothing there you won't have heard before, but it's my opinion and... well... I don't know. You're a smart girl and you'll draw your own conclusions eventually :). I think maybe it's balancing a scientific mind with a philosophical side that's giving you trouble at the moment. I learnt a while ago that for me at least, it's best left like work-life and home-life; kept firmly separate and crossover bits avoided as much as possible.

Eep, going to be late for HCI! *hugs*

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

You are not a waste of space. Life is still good, remember. People are inherently good, or at least I like to think so. There is a purpose, albeit an obscure one. Things have a funny way of working out.

And... fish?

[hathy-col.livejournal.com]

Um. You're not. You matter to me, I'm a self-centred bitch, so as far as I'm concerned you matter and I want you to stay very much.