try to stay awake and remember my name

[raven]

So far, the day has been decidedly mixed. I woke up with the feeling of utter self-loathing that is always evident whenever I sleep through my alarm, again. I'm beginning to worry about this tendency of mine, because it's a loud alarm. Loud, meaning loud, very loud, and it ought to be able to wake the soundest of sleepers. But it wails till it wears out, and I sleep on through. It was getting on for eleven when I finally got out of bed. I was just attempting not to stare at my reflection's startled, wide eyes when the phone rang.

I answered it with the vague idea it was going to be my parents in the grip of insomnia - they arrived safely last night, having had several adventures including almost missing their connecting flight - but it wasn't. It was amchau. Which was enough for my reflection's expression to get even more startled.

So I stumbled downstairs, and made coffee while all the while having a very funny and incredibly fannish conversation with Am-Chau (thankfully, I've been pronouncing it right up until now!) that involved, well, all sorts of things. It was surreal, but lots of fun, and I was quite happy sitting there at the stone table with my coffee, talking and watching the rain outside.

Unfortunately, the day went downhill from there. It brightened up. No nice friendly rain, but merely too-bright sunshine and way too many day trippers. Patrick called, but I'm pretty sure I told him to fuck off and die. I can't cope with functioning like a human being.

And the worst thing?

My computer will not boot up. I don't know how, why, what's happened, I'm not remotely computer-savvy, but what I do know is my last back-ups were made more than three months ago and if I can't rescue them, I've lost so many of my files. WIPs, notes, random scribblings, webpages in construction, everything.

The thought makes me want to cry.