Political pornography

So, no updates for a while. This is because my life has been singularly boring. Therefore, I'm going to take a leaf from gamesiplay's book and chronicle my life in soundbites:

(over the weekend)

Colleen: I spork you with my SPORK OF THOR!

Clare: They're taking over the world.
Enid: Who?
Me: The sentient lifeforms in her carpet.

Me: What, you think that would be uncharacteristic?
Pedar: Would I say that?

Suzanne: (written in red whiteboard pen on the kitchen wall) Glasses are never left unwashed overnight. NEVER EVER EVER.
Jodie: The health inspectors are coming.

(today)

Patrick: Dear miss holiday-girl, how are your feet?

Me: Why is there a Latin word for sodium?
Pedar: Natrium?
Me: Yeah, the ancient Romans were really boring. Seneca wrote reams about how he lived over a bathhouse.
Pedar: ...Don't do medicine. Seriously.

Mum: I got you a bromeliad.

Am-Chau: Does hurting your ankle stop you giving wild fic writers a prompt to distract them briefly from the insanity that is Asgard sex?
Me: ...

Pedar: Did you email the Frog Man?

And to sum up:

Dadi: (translated) Are you normal?