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I was planning to come home and write about what a shit day it has been and how overwhelmingly depressed this has made me, but I don't think that's called for any more. I got home, extremely pissed off, but Pedar made me coffee, I watched Stargate (Unnatural Selection - review in next entry) and had a fruitful, stimulating tutoring sesson with Kate, and am in a better mood all round.
I suppose the main issue is the fact that winds of change are blowing and making everyone fractious, like some kind of metphorical mistral. Today was the last day of the spring term, meaning it is now officially Easter. It was Wednesday, which means I should have had a half day and I should have been in mufti. Well, I was in mufti, but I had to pay for the privilege because it was a mufti day for the whole school. My half day, however, disappeared without a trace. We didn't have voluntary service, but we all had to go to lessons five and six and then to final assembly. I didn't have lessons, so I had nothing to do four hours and then had to go to boring, pointless, self-indulgent final assembly, which pissed me off.
But, yes, winds of change. This morning, Nichola had to perform one of her last duties as head librarian - preparing the voting slips so we could vote for her replacement. We actually also had cake - I think Mrs Barry provided it - and everyone got a slice of Mini Eggs cake before we voted. Each person got two votes, and you had to vote for two different people off the shortlist, which consisted of Fidan, Rola, Laura, Bethan and me. I voted for Fidan and Rola, ate my cake and hung around for a bit before wandering into the library office. Nichola, Fidan, Rola and Mrs Barry were in there, and they threw me out. No-one has done that since the days of Mrs Potter, so I was actually rather offended. They were having a "secret meeting." "I'm on the committee!" I yelled, and when that didn't work, "I hate you all!"
Eventually, as no alternative presented itself, I had to go to Biology. Some minutes later, Fidan and Rola both arrived. Neither was forthcoming. Neither was Rice-Oxley, as she wanted to get on with a lesson about xylem and phloem, neither of which I find very interesting. One thing she did tell us was the date of the field trip to Formby Point. As I may have said, I will find this field trip very amusing because I live at Formby Point. Well, I don't, but I live as close to it as you can do without your house being more than likely to fall down.
Following a vaguely boring lesson, then, I went into the village at lunch with Becca and Emma, and we bought pasties and sandwiches and basked in the sunlight. The weather is causing some of the changes, I must say. It's "warm but cold at the same time", to quote Becca, which I will agree with. It's perfectly fine and clear, but that doesn't do it justice. Picture it; the white-blue sweep of sky, the peculiarly British summertime feel to it, the certain knowledge that although it is warm and burning your arms now, in the shade it will still be very cold. It feels like summer, and my summers are associated with exams, with revision in a shaded darkened room, emerging into the sunlight only to go to school and be issued with papers. I think the weather is making people aware of how soon our exams are - six weeks until study leave, now, and only three more weeks of ordinary school - and consequently affecting people. Changes, as I said.
We sat outside on the benches to enjoy it, like we did when we were younger and had never even heard of board exams, and tidied up and generally wasted time. But I wanted to know, and went down to the library to see if Nichola had counted the votes yet.
She looked very uncomfortable. "Fidan and Rola."
"Joint?" I was surprised - I mean, what's the likelihood of that? And also rather disappointed, but not much.
"But," she went on, "this morning we were talking about the possibility of one of them being head girl."
This is worth mentioning. The smart money is on either Fidan or Rola or both of them being head girl and/or deputies (although we don't vote for it until after Easter) and if this does turn out to be the case, then they forfeit the position as head of the committee. According to Nichola, they then move down the list to the next person, who is - wait for it - Bethan.
"I feel terrible," she (Nichola, that is) said after that. She told me that she, (current head librarian), Molly (second person on the list last year) and Mrs Barry had voted for me. I feel I can accurately predict what will happen now. Fidan and Rola will be head girls/deputies. They will gracefully withdraw and let it slip down the list to Bethan, who will say she doesn't want to do it. The job will then fall into the hands of yours truly.
I'm not doing it.
Well, it makes sense to me. I refuse to do a job that is only in my hands because no-one else wants to do it. Being voted into it would have been one thing; this is quite another. And although it seems selfish and shallow and all those delciously evocative adjectives, I can't help but feel slightly cheated. Fidan, Rola and Bethan aren't known for their reading. They don't volunteer for extra voluntary service in the library. They don't shelve books when they don't have to, they don't help Nichola (fair dos - no-one's saying they have to), they don't spend time there.
Well. What can you do, etc. I will never be head girl, that's for sure. I'm not a Harrison scholar, for one thing, because I wasn't good enough.
Looking back, I should have just told everyone to fuck off and gone home at twelve. It would have saved aggravation all round. Instead, I went home at four, and Pedar said he'd pick me up if I rang. So I rang. And rang anf rang and rang, but no-one picked up. Only after I'd walked home in the heat did we discover that this was because the phone had somehow been disconnected.
Like I said, not a good day. And tomorrow isn't likely to be better, because it's workshop day. I wasn't planning to go in, but Megan has just discovered she has a doctor's appointment and can't go. Bev told me, blithely as you please, "Dr Galbraith's going to kill you," meaning me. I was very, very angry. Still am, actually. Dr Galbraith shouldn't want to kill me. I already said I didn't want to come. The labs need five people each to function, so they now need a replacement, but Megan's fucking doctor's appointment is nothing to do with me. If I had any kind of backbone at all, I wouldn't go tomorrow and screw the consequences. Fuck off, the lot of them.
Huh. By writing all of this, I've just made myself angry again. I shouldn't have updated.
I suppose the main issue is the fact that winds of change are blowing and making everyone fractious, like some kind of metphorical mistral. Today was the last day of the spring term, meaning it is now officially Easter. It was Wednesday, which means I should have had a half day and I should have been in mufti. Well, I was in mufti, but I had to pay for the privilege because it was a mufti day for the whole school. My half day, however, disappeared without a trace. We didn't have voluntary service, but we all had to go to lessons five and six and then to final assembly. I didn't have lessons, so I had nothing to do four hours and then had to go to boring, pointless, self-indulgent final assembly, which pissed me off.
But, yes, winds of change. This morning, Nichola had to perform one of her last duties as head librarian - preparing the voting slips so we could vote for her replacement. We actually also had cake - I think Mrs Barry provided it - and everyone got a slice of Mini Eggs cake before we voted. Each person got two votes, and you had to vote for two different people off the shortlist, which consisted of Fidan, Rola, Laura, Bethan and me. I voted for Fidan and Rola, ate my cake and hung around for a bit before wandering into the library office. Nichola, Fidan, Rola and Mrs Barry were in there, and they threw me out. No-one has done that since the days of Mrs Potter, so I was actually rather offended. They were having a "secret meeting." "I'm on the committee!" I yelled, and when that didn't work, "I hate you all!"
Eventually, as no alternative presented itself, I had to go to Biology. Some minutes later, Fidan and Rola both arrived. Neither was forthcoming. Neither was Rice-Oxley, as she wanted to get on with a lesson about xylem and phloem, neither of which I find very interesting. One thing she did tell us was the date of the field trip to Formby Point. As I may have said, I will find this field trip very amusing because I live at Formby Point. Well, I don't, but I live as close to it as you can do without your house being more than likely to fall down.
Following a vaguely boring lesson, then, I went into the village at lunch with Becca and Emma, and we bought pasties and sandwiches and basked in the sunlight. The weather is causing some of the changes, I must say. It's "warm but cold at the same time", to quote Becca, which I will agree with. It's perfectly fine and clear, but that doesn't do it justice. Picture it; the white-blue sweep of sky, the peculiarly British summertime feel to it, the certain knowledge that although it is warm and burning your arms now, in the shade it will still be very cold. It feels like summer, and my summers are associated with exams, with revision in a shaded darkened room, emerging into the sunlight only to go to school and be issued with papers. I think the weather is making people aware of how soon our exams are - six weeks until study leave, now, and only three more weeks of ordinary school - and consequently affecting people. Changes, as I said.
We sat outside on the benches to enjoy it, like we did when we were younger and had never even heard of board exams, and tidied up and generally wasted time. But I wanted to know, and went down to the library to see if Nichola had counted the votes yet.
She looked very uncomfortable. "Fidan and Rola."
"Joint?" I was surprised - I mean, what's the likelihood of that? And also rather disappointed, but not much.
"But," she went on, "this morning we were talking about the possibility of one of them being head girl."
This is worth mentioning. The smart money is on either Fidan or Rola or both of them being head girl and/or deputies (although we don't vote for it until after Easter) and if this does turn out to be the case, then they forfeit the position as head of the committee. According to Nichola, they then move down the list to the next person, who is - wait for it - Bethan.
"I feel terrible," she (Nichola, that is) said after that. She told me that she, (current head librarian), Molly (second person on the list last year) and Mrs Barry had voted for me. I feel I can accurately predict what will happen now. Fidan and Rola will be head girls/deputies. They will gracefully withdraw and let it slip down the list to Bethan, who will say she doesn't want to do it. The job will then fall into the hands of yours truly.
I'm not doing it.
Well, it makes sense to me. I refuse to do a job that is only in my hands because no-one else wants to do it. Being voted into it would have been one thing; this is quite another. And although it seems selfish and shallow and all those delciously evocative adjectives, I can't help but feel slightly cheated. Fidan, Rola and Bethan aren't known for their reading. They don't volunteer for extra voluntary service in the library. They don't shelve books when they don't have to, they don't help Nichola (fair dos - no-one's saying they have to), they don't spend time there.
Well. What can you do, etc. I will never be head girl, that's for sure. I'm not a Harrison scholar, for one thing, because I wasn't good enough.
Looking back, I should have just told everyone to fuck off and gone home at twelve. It would have saved aggravation all round. Instead, I went home at four, and Pedar said he'd pick me up if I rang. So I rang. And rang anf rang and rang, but no-one picked up. Only after I'd walked home in the heat did we discover that this was because the phone had somehow been disconnected.
Like I said, not a good day. And tomorrow isn't likely to be better, because it's workshop day. I wasn't planning to go in, but Megan has just discovered she has a doctor's appointment and can't go. Bev told me, blithely as you please, "Dr Galbraith's going to kill you," meaning me. I was very, very angry. Still am, actually. Dr Galbraith shouldn't want to kill me. I already said I didn't want to come. The labs need five people each to function, so they now need a replacement, but Megan's fucking doctor's appointment is nothing to do with me. If I had any kind of backbone at all, I wouldn't go tomorrow and screw the consequences. Fuck off, the lot of them.
Huh. By writing all of this, I've just made myself angry again. I shouldn't have updated.
