Oregon; and thoughts on learning

After a day that is rapidly fading into memory but was not very nice, especially as it involved Becca teetering ever closer to a nervous breakdown and much angst all round, I am feeling relaxed to the point of being horizontal. Actually one nice thing did happen today - cucharita came up to see me. She had the day off today for some reason, and decided, after coming to school, to sit in on my Politics lesson. I have no idea why. Mr Evans is in fine form anyway, having been conned into eating Conservative chocolate this morning (manufactured by the Conservative Party - I kid you not).

I am not feeling relaxed for any particular reason, especially as I realised today that I am in Trouble with a capital T. I mean that. For some reason or other, I haven't given in my examination entry forms. Trouble, trouble, trouble - if I haven't been entered before the deadline, Trouble! I'm in the mood to panic. Except I am trying not to.

There are other things to panic about. Or not. As I have said, my room is being decorated. It's actually going to be very nice when it's done. My mother is attempting to take over, but I'm standing my ground; I am, after all, the person who has to live in it. Pedar is being very very amiable and basically saying to decorate it how I want. It's going to be mostly neutral, with white walls, wooden shelves/cupboards/computer table, and a kind of natural cream-type colour carpet. Having said that, I wanted splashes of colour in all this minimalism and so the bedcovers and curtains are going to be red. Pedar then asked about wall decoration; the only thing I'm going to have on the wall is my Save Quiggins poster (from purplerainbow) which Pedar says ought to be covered in glass. I am really, really in favour of that - it's going to be lovely when it's finished. Which may not be soon, but nevermind.

When I got back, I sat around for a while, looked in at my room, and then watched the Stargate episode Nightwalkers. Which I really enjoyed. For some reason, Pedar watched it with me. Now, he claims he doesn't watch it, he hates sci-fi, has no idea why I am so obsessed with this programme, etc - but today he asked, "Where's the irreverent one?" It took me a while to figure that out, but eventually realised that not only does he watch the show enough to know of the snarky existence of Colonel Jack O'Neill, but also knows that he ought to be there in Nightwalkers. He isn't because he's off with the Tok'ra, but Pedar, surprisingly, also knows who the Tok'ra are. I have explained it often enough. "Like the bad guys, except for politics!"

So, we watched Nightwalkers. And I made the observation that this sort of thing only seems to happen in Oregon. I mean, where do all the aliens arrive in the X-files? Oregon. Where do the Goa'uld take over an entire town? Oregon. Must be something in the water. Pedar liked this episode, anyway, as did I; particularly the interplay between Sam and Jonas. We were running late, so I got to watch to the end - "Did you find it absolutely necessary to actually slap me?" - and then off we went.

My parents evening was tonight, and so I dragged my parents along. Pedar really wouldn't go if I didn't make him, which I can't help but find a little disheartening. He doesn't really care what my teachers have to say. But I made him go, and finally meet Rice-Oxley and Mr Evans and all the others I've told him so much about. Actually, all my teachers were very nice about me. The one recurring theme between all of them, even the sciences, was that I apparently express myself very well. Mrs O'Connor told them I have a "fantastic vocabulary" and write very well, which was also good. Pedar found Mr Evans very amusing, and said later that he was exactly as he'd expected him to be. I knew they'd get on; when Mr Evans started talking about my well-defined political views, Pedar said it was his fault - he "corrupted her from an early age." Now, everyone knows Mr Evans is brainwashing his two children (who are seven and three), which he told my parents about. Apparently, when he asks his son, "Who's George Bush?", he says, "A moron, Daddy."

As I said, Pedar found him very amusing. But he found it depressing that out of a class with nine people in it, I appear to be the only one with any kind of political views at all. And the others, in their vague apathy, are right-wing rich kids. Mr Evans actually went on to say that despite the fact he and I are a minority of two, I put my views "very pleasantly, but firmly" and "stand [my] ground." Which made me squee. As did a comment by Rice-Oxley, of all people. She was talking about the group as a whole and how I add an unusual viewpoint - I am the "little philosopher." Which is all I ever wanted to be.

She also said I need to know the fundamental considerations of things - "But why is it like that? Why, why, why?" Which is true - but if I don't ask why, then who will? One thing I said once in that class, which I do think deserves repeating, was that people have all these barriers, particularly the people I do science with. Fidan and Rola are religious, and the others have fairly black-and-white perspectives - they all want to be doctors, as I have said so many times, and that affects the way they look at things. Anyway, I want to look at things without barriers. Without the cushions of "that's just the way it is" and "it's God's will." In my worldview, there is no God and no way out. If we don't understand it here and now, there will never be another chance nor anyone else to understand it for us. Sometimes I think that Sarah understands what I mean when I go on like this - she said something today about wanting to know something "for the sake of learning" and I am very much in favour of this. Why do science, if you don't want to know things? In fact, why do anything?

I'll figure it out someday, I suppose. In the meantime, everyone is being dragged along for the ride, and I plan to keep it that way.