Explosion

I am astronomically stressed. Reaching the point of no return, I feel. I don't particularly want advice or anything; I just want to write - get it all out, etc, or some similar cliché.

Why am I stressed? A number of reasons. One of which is academic-ness in general. I don't mind it so much when I have to go over stuff if I want to understand it; what I do mind is the fact I have no time in which to do so. In case I haven't made it clear before now, my room is being decorated and every spare minute over the last few days has been spent clearing stuff out from it. I have a lot of stuff, and it's now everywhere and it seems all my time goes in finding anything I have need of. Yesterday my computer was disconnected - this is Pedar's, which thankfully he didn't take with him - and that spawned its own load of chaos as I had to copy every file I might need in the next month. Typing on Pedar's computer is very uncomfortable because his keyboard has lost all sensitivity. I have connected my own keyboard to it, which looks decidedly silly on a laptop and means I can't move the mouse while I'm typing and vice versa.

So... yes. I would love to take an hour or two just looking over Chemistry, Biology and Politics - clearing up all my fuzzy areas of understanding from since about half term. Also, my parents evening is next week and this is a good time to behave myself. But there is no time. Sundays, my usual day for catching up on everything, including sleep, are now permanently lost to me because of the stupid waitressing job, which is absolutely doing my head in. I hate it so much I find myself thinking about it - and dreading it - even when I'm trying to concentrate on something quite different. I hate it with a passion, but it seems so ridiculous to quit over something so trivial.

Saturdays, therefore, have become my day for doing everything. And this includes going out with the resident lunatics and with Patrick. The problem with that is the fact Patrick hasn't been home much lately and besides I couldn't meet him last time he was here because I was so busy (clearing out stuff!) that I would feel terrible for not meeting him this weekend. But yes, I have to work on Sunday and this Sunday happens to be their busiest day of the year. I foresee a day of absolutely mind-numbing tedium somehow combined with a great deal of hard, repetitive work with people I can't talk to, for less than minimum wage.

In addition to this, Miss Gow is after me for her Hinduism assembly, and I've just this minute realised I haven't written my bit for it and it's five past ten and I wanted to go to bed early, if that's at all believeable. I still have to dig out tealights and a dupatta from somewhere. I've spent all my time uptil now writing my English commentary, which I had left until now because I had no time at the weekend, although I don't know why I thought I would have time in the week.

I've taken up basketball. My parents keep telling me to take up some sport (my mother says dance). I'm also under pressure to actually start learning to drive (I've been seventeen for two months and haven't even thought about it yet). I am also tutoring in the evenings, and must find time before next week to revise inverse proportion so I can teach my sole pupil on Tuesday. I didn't have time today because of the frigging Drama Festival.

It's in one week and three days. They don't know their lines, and Becca is going absolutely mad. She emerged from the other side of insanity late this afternoon, when it became apparent that our one and only Centenary Hall rehearsal is the same night as the Lower Four parents evening, so hardly any of then can come. None of the other groups will swap with us. Tonight, we were going to have an after-school reheasal in the hall, but it was taken. As were the gym, the lecture room, the music room and the upper common room. We were reduced to rehearsing outside, at which point Mrs Stenson arrived with a busload of sporty people and attempted to run us all over. I didn't get home till six.

At this point, fandom is more or less a write-off. I just about finished beta-ing for amchau, which I was glad of, but she also betaed for me and I haven't even had the chance to look at her comments. As for any writing of my own - forget it. The only time today where I felt I could really sit down and relax was in the evening, sitting and watching the Stargate season 5 finale, Revelations. I couldn't waste time - I was doing Chemistry while watching it - but it was something. But I missed the end because Kate, whom I tutor, arrived early.

Also, I'm ill.

In conclusion, my head is going to explode.