Destroyed level crossing barriers

Oh, holy public transport, how do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways...

But before we get onto that, the day wasn't bad. I skived the Harvest assembly, the Biology test wasn't bad at all, as we were messing around with the colourimeters (sp?) and only had twenty minutes for the test itself, and come lunchtime, Becca and Emma and I ventured forth into the grey sky morning, faced down howling winds and flying leaves, and made into the village without being carried off to Oz. We went to Sayer's, of course, and I got myself a pasty and another gingerbread bat. Becca got one of those Viennese thingies and those crisps I like, the Thai chilli ones. Because of the wind, we didn't sit on our bench but went back to school and ate in the common room, in the warm. While we were there, Katrina came in with a half-full bottle. It was, in fact, the last of the strawberry liqueur purplerainbow brought back from Spain and donated to the party last weekend. We didn't finish it then, and Becca brought it in to give to me to give to Hannah, but I rightly or wrongly assumed Hannah wouldn't want it after it's been with me for a month (it might be that long till I see her), so I gave it back to Becca, who gave it to Katrina.

Who drank it.

Well, not quite. She didn't try it at the party, so she had a bit, Nicola had a bit, and everyone else, myself included, had a mouthful. The bottle has now gone safely back onto Megan's shelf (why Megan's? Because she's the only one who won't notice its sudden appearance). After that small interlude, we had to go places. Nicola and Becca to Fourfield (she left me the crisps!) and I went to the computer room for a while. Because hotmail and LJ are still blocked, I didn't have much to do, so in the end I wandered off down to the library. As always happens, I ended up volunteering to help with what they were doing, which was sticking stickers on the reading list books. Which was surprisingly fun. Both Mrs Barry and Nicola Wright think I should go and see Mrs Peppin and get my voluntary service changed. If I can somehow do it within the school library, a lot of people will be much happier.

But in the end, Emma and I had to go. It's actually quite boring at the Stroke Association - although I was there for two hours, I can't think of anything interesting enough to write down in here - but this is the last time I have to go there for three weeks. They're off on another outing next week (to Southport!), and then the next two weeks are half term. I mentioned this as I was leaving, and they seem okay with it, so I won't go.

I had plans for after I left. I usually leave early to get the earlier train, but I decided to instead aim for the usual train, therefore giving me time to go back to school for my coat (I forgot it) and drop in to College Road library for some more Discworld books. This little plan of mine went off quite well, as I found two more of the books in the library - The Last Continent and The Truth - but they were hardback and heavy. I reasoned that Pedar said he'd pick me up this end, so it'd be all right. And so it would have been. "Would have" being the operative words.

The train was terminated at Formby. Now, I don't know why there is a station caled "Formby" and another called "Freshfield" when Freshfield is in Formby, but I do know which of the two I'd prefer to get off at. They told us on the train in the usual way - "All change!" - and as always, they said there would be a rail-replacement bus service, which did not turn up. The people at Formby station didn't have a clue. They rang up Freshfield and found out a bus had driven straight into the level crossing barriers there, and broken them. I haven't a clue how this could have happened, and out of a hundred or so stations on the network, it had to happen here...

So there's me, tramping out of Formby station weighed down with books, and I put my hand in my pocket for my phone and found only a screwed-up raffle ticket and a few fluffy penny sweets. No phone. So I had to climb the stairs and put the last of my change into a pay phone, and I was all ready to wail to Pedar please please come and pick me up, but he wasn't there. Dadi informed me he'd gone off to do a Caesarean. I wailed. And then I picked up my bag and prepared to walk two miles. At least, that was the plan.

I don't seem to have stuck to a lot of plans this afternoon, do I? This time, I was just leaving the station when the Formby Circular swung into view. Now, I hate buses. I should imagine everyone north of the river does. We're all spoilt by our comprehensive rail network. But I put aside my hatred and got on the bus with the reasoning that at least it couldn't take me out of Formby, and it might just get me closer to home. I was lucky, of course. At least I could walk if need be. There were people utterly new to the area, trying to get to Ainsdale and Southport and places. Therefore, there was a lot of discussion when the bus stopped, as no-one knew any more than anyone else. But above the tumult, there rose a voice who actually knew what it was talking about, and everyone fell silent while a little old lady started directing them all, even the bus driver. She had people going to Ainsdale marching off to the right bus stop, she had the bus driver go over his route, and when she at last got off, I was confident I could get to the other station by this bus. But the bus driver turned out to be nice as all-get-out, and dropped me off sans bus stop just up the road from Formby Point. I got home only five minutes late, and I didn't even have to pay for the journey, as that Trio pass is worth its weight in gold.

So, success. I have rung my parents and told them to watch out for destroyed level crossing barriers.

Thoughts on the the Discworld, part one

As said before, I picked up two more Discworld books today. However, it did occur to me that I haven't really talked explicitly about the Quest for the two weeks since it began, so this is me doing so. What follows is the list of books I've read, none of which I actually own:

Pyramids – the only one I’d read before. Very, very confusing, but a good one to start with because it had me in hysterics both times I read it. The Assassins’ Guild is so utterly ludicrous and so darkly plausible; I love it. I also love Teppic’s adventures in Djelibeybi (say that out loud, go on) and its random disappearance into another dimension. Fantastic.

Mort – the one I should have started with. Possibly the easiest one to understand, and definitely the reason I’m now such a fan of Death. I like the characters and set pieces best – the attempts to convince the princess she’s actually dead, for one, and Death’s excitement at getting his very first wedding invitation (IT HAD RSVP ON IT AND EVERYTHING) – but I didn’t like the plot very much. It left too much unresolved at the end. Another thing that bothers me is the fact the Patrician in this book is not recognisably Lord Vetinari, and yet he’d have to be for the book to feature all the guilds.

The Fifth Elephant – I’ll admit I picked this one up for the werewolves. I would have preferred to go on with the Death ones, as I’d not read a Watch one before. However, this book definitely made me a fan of the City Watch (a point – when do they become the City Watch and not just the Night Watch? Or are they same thing?). I knew I’d be a fan of Angua, but it’s not just me, she really does have some similarities to Remus Lupin (yes, there is a crossover in the works, shush). However, the plot of this book was darker. I didn’t realise that all the Watch ones tend to be dark, but this one is darker than most.

Hogfather – the best one, hands down. Susan rocks. She really does. I love her attitude towards children (“What have I told you about being ingratiatingly cute?”) and her grandfather (“He takes things literally.”). As well as her, though, the book has everything – Death trying to deliver presents and say HO HO HO, Billious, the oh god of hangovers, a cameo by the Watchmen, and the wizards of Unseen University. I’d never read about Ridcully and the rest before, but they’re sublime. Particularly the Bursar. And Hex, the computer. “+++Divide by Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe and Reboot+++”

Night Watch – another Watch one, but with a twist. Carrot, Angua, Nobby and Detritus don’t really feature, seeing as Vimes has been sent back in time, so this one made me a fan of Vimes himself. He seems to be the Discworld’s most complex character – Duke of Ankh, down-and-dirty copper, dry alcoholic, happily married to the richest woman in the city but has a tendency to wear cardboard soles. This book is not funny. Not at all. Darker than dark. The only light moment is the endlessly quotable motto of the People’s Republic of Treacle Mine Road: “Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably Priced Love! And A Hard-Boiled Egg!”

Interesting Times – the only Rincewind book I have read so far. I don’t really like Rincewind very much. I like the appearance of Archchancellor Ridcully, and I do like the poor teacher’s attempts to make the Silver Horde civilised. His patiently delivered lesson on How To Buy An Apple Without Ensuing Massacre is hysterical. The other source of hysteria is the language spoken in the Agatean Empire. I love the way a varied inflection changes the meaning utterly, so sentences run: “You... waterfall... variety of buffalo... wicker basket... dammit... idiot!” What happens to Rincewind at the end is also very funny, but I’m only saying that because I don’t like him. My favourite part of this book is how cleverly the old curse has been used – “May you live in interesting times.”

I have also read Men At Arms, Feet of Clay, Weird Sisters, Lords and Ladies and Witches Abroad, but I'll write about them when I have more time. Right now, I'm in the middle of Maskerade, with Thief of Time, The Last Continent, The Truth and The Science of Discworld waiting to be read. Let it never be said that I don't take my Quests seriously.