Enough is enough, let me go...

Two weeks of mock exams are over. Finally. The Classics was all right, nothing special, and I didn't do badly for someone who had done as little revision as possible.

The Drama was weird. I really had no idea what to write, and wrote a lot less than everyone else, so finished an hour early. I've never been so restive - I just wanted to stand up and leave and just go, because we've had exams, enough is enough is enough, let me go.

They let me go in the end, of course. I haven't done very well on that Drama but I'm finding it hard to care. As usual.

But yes. I was in a good mood, a sparkling mood, and I was walking down the road with Becca and Bev, and we were having a pleasantly involved conversation about our A-level choices, when a bunch of kids came by and shouted, "Fucking Paki!"

What else? What else could have brought me down from my happy place? Obviously this had to happen, today of all days. And just when I was telling purplerainbow the other day about how pleased I was that this hadn't happened in so long, and then, crash bang fuck, it does, and leaves me

I'm proud of how I dealt with it. I am. Becca inclined her head and said, "Woggy woggy wog?" to one of them. They were just kids. Younger than me. Bev shouted "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. There was something irresistibly comical about that kid's face, faced down with Becca, much bigger than him, daring him to say something in reply to "Woggy woggy wog?"

But when they'd gone, something perverse and perverted inside my head sorted through the background fuzziness and came back with what that kid said, digitally remastered in painful clarity. "Fucking Paki."

I hate myself for letting this get to me. I hate it.

Fucking racist fuckers.

Stolen from gamesiplay

"Pick six people on your Friends list -- three that you don't know very well, three that you do, and say three things about them. If you see yourself on someone's list, good cue to get on in the game."

Because I now have the time to do as many of these as I like...

1. purplerainbow
-is always a vision in purple, and cool with it.
-is the only person on the planet with a similar playlist to mine.
-is someone I miss. A lot.

2. cucharita
-appreciates slash. Does a wonderful line in f/f, too(!)
-is the only person I allow to bite me. Or hug me.
-is someone I can rely on, in school, to understand everything I say.

3. snowdrop24
-is a hopelessly shippy fangirlie, but somehow I have to forgive her for it...
-is a gorgeous web designer. I love her creations.
-always seems to have a cat in her lap, or about to jump on her lap, or asleep on her bed, or something...

4. candriann
-is back, after a long absence.
-is one of the few people brave enough to have their own pics as user icons.
-is a member of brushinshower. What more can I say?

5. whyihateyou
-unfailingly comes up with good usernames.
-has, in her reason #47 icon, my favourite icon ever.
-is never boring. Ever.

6. gamesiplay
-is the person I stole this off...
-is still a mystery to me. I want to get to know her better.
-was unlucky enough to be having exams at the same time as me. Damn exams. Damn examiners.

Having done that, and talked to a few people, and stopped feeling so wrapped-up-in-self, I think I'm okay with the world.
snowdrop24 was right when she called me moodswingy. I am. I just had a reason today, that's all...
I'd like to write. And I can, sans guilt...

Candles and chocolate sauce...

Quick post.
Due to reasons that are too complex to go into, Pedar had to go to Warehouse tonight, some drug-rep thing. It's Friday night, neither my mother or me were doing anything, so we went along. For the benefit of those who don't live in the immediate vicinity, Warehouse is a cute little restaurant on Southport promanade.

Anyway, we went. And while we were there, we met one of Pedar's colleagues, Dr Memmon. He was there because it was his birthday earlier this week and he and his family were celebrating. I think someone must have let slip to the staff that Dr Memmon and his colleague's only daughter share a birthday... to cut a long story short, a waiter appeared suddenly beside me with a small, one-person chocolate cake with candles and a scoop of ice-cream in the centre of a huge plate, on which someone had scrawled "Happy Birthday, love the Warehouse" in chocolate sauce. I looked up at the waiter, who was sweet and adorable and undeniably gay, and he said, "When I heard it was your sixteenth, I couldn't resist..."

So that has thoroughly restored my good mood. I'm going to bed, and looking forward to tomorrow.