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Lalalalala...
Oct. 28th, 2002 12:09 amI am such a bitch. But it's LiveJournal posts like this that make me lose my faith in the intelligence of human beings.
That is all. Good night.
That is all. Good night.
Oct. 28th, 2002
The reason I didn't update this morning is because I was a little - actually, a lot - depressed. I don't know why. I feel better now I'm out of my own head.
I've started writing up the con. It should be fairly respectably written when finished, though I'm promising nothing where that's concerned.
While I was at SG-5, Tony called and asked me to come in for an hour today. He's got James trying to teach me how to use an MS-DOS computer equipped with modem - it's all very odd and may perhaps be unique. I like James - he's nice, friendly and good at what he does, and he has long hair and glasses, always nice. One of his friends came in today to complain about how he failed his driving test - he was supposed to go straight on at a roundabout, but he indicated right and went left, hitting the kerb while he did it, so he's been failed. Poor guy.
The surprising thing about this afternoon was the fact Tony made James pay me - because of my age I don't get minimum wage, but they gave me £3.50 for an hour's work. I was surprised because it really didn't feel like work - I enjoyed it, and if there's anything I can do, it's deal with books and computers.
So I may have a regular job now. I certainly hope so. Pedar thinks it might be a good idea to go and see My Big Fat Greek Wedding on Thursday, which I'm also all for. We went food-shopping this evening after I finished working, and revealed to ourselves how clueless we both are with all things food. We've both taken the microwaveable route. It occurred to me that I have the potential to be the most horrible roommate ever - I stay up so late, get up so late, eat such weird things and at such weird times, and I leave a trail of mess wherever I go.
Oh, well. Not such a bad day, all told. I was trying to tell Pedar about the con - he thoroughly approved of the non-profit aspect of it. I explained about the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis charity, and for good measure, I told him the story about Corin Nemec and the bananas. He thought I was kidding.
I've started writing up the con. It should be fairly respectably written when finished, though I'm promising nothing where that's concerned.
While I was at SG-5, Tony called and asked me to come in for an hour today. He's got James trying to teach me how to use an MS-DOS computer equipped with modem - it's all very odd and may perhaps be unique. I like James - he's nice, friendly and good at what he does, and he has long hair and glasses, always nice. One of his friends came in today to complain about how he failed his driving test - he was supposed to go straight on at a roundabout, but he indicated right and went left, hitting the kerb while he did it, so he's been failed. Poor guy.
The surprising thing about this afternoon was the fact Tony made James pay me - because of my age I don't get minimum wage, but they gave me £3.50 for an hour's work. I was surprised because it really didn't feel like work - I enjoyed it, and if there's anything I can do, it's deal with books and computers.
So I may have a regular job now. I certainly hope so. Pedar thinks it might be a good idea to go and see My Big Fat Greek Wedding on Thursday, which I'm also all for. We went food-shopping this evening after I finished working, and revealed to ourselves how clueless we both are with all things food. We've both taken the microwaveable route. It occurred to me that I have the potential to be the most horrible roommate ever - I stay up so late, get up so late, eat such weird things and at such weird times, and I leave a trail of mess wherever I go.
Oh, well. Not such a bad day, all told. I was trying to tell Pedar about the con - he thoroughly approved of the non-profit aspect of it. I explained about the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis charity, and for good measure, I told him the story about Corin Nemec and the bananas. He thought I was kidding.
Automatic writing
Oct. 28th, 2002 11:49 pmI'm tired as hell.
I've been making a couple of posts in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
first_thoughts. The community is dedicated to automatic writing, which I love , because it always feels like catharsis for me. I can always manage to do it, even when I don't intend to. I go on for paragraph upon paragraph, until it gets to the point where I'm just watching the screen, as my fingers and brain cooperate to pour out my soul onto soft copy. Sometimes I spot random lyrics, quotes inside my head, stuff I've just been thinking about, and sometimes the entire contents of my head just pours out into black and white.
I'm going to try and do it here, rather than infirst_thoughts this time, just so I can come back to it more easily.
And here I am once more I hate you anf I hate the world at times and the love returns love that was made up by poets who hated real life and were trapped in their heads just like me until I woke up in a car and threw away my keys although it was the town for theories and there was this place I used to go and watch the sea because it is timeless and it never changes and it will last forever unlike me who only writes and once the fog cleared I hate you all. fuck you. It's all I ever wanted to be respected and I don't want to stop to think and I don't want to cry and I don't care and I never have and I'm not weird just misunderstood because no-one understands but me trust me I hate you although it was all I wanted to say I am all alone and once I have finished my life and this is the final curtain this what I've always thought screw you fuck me because I can never go on any more and although this is all I have to say trust me I love you I do I do.
I can see lyrics from the song I was listening to in there, but nothing else makes sense to me. The reference to the sea might be to do with the beach here, but I don't know.
This makes no sense, but I feel better, so I guess it worked.
Didn't it?
I've been making a couple of posts in
first_thoughts. The community is dedicated to automatic writing, which I love , because it always feels like catharsis for me. I can always manage to do it, even when I don't intend to. I go on for paragraph upon paragraph, until it gets to the point where I'm just watching the screen, as my fingers and brain cooperate to pour out my soul onto soft copy. Sometimes I spot random lyrics, quotes inside my head, stuff I've just been thinking about, and sometimes the entire contents of my head just pours out into black and white.I'm going to try and do it here, rather than in
first_thoughts this time, just so I can come back to it more easily.And here I am once more I hate you anf I hate the world at times and the love returns love that was made up by poets who hated real life and were trapped in their heads just like me until I woke up in a car and threw away my keys although it was the town for theories and there was this place I used to go and watch the sea because it is timeless and it never changes and it will last forever unlike me who only writes and once the fog cleared I hate you all. fuck you. It's all I ever wanted to be respected and I don't want to stop to think and I don't want to cry and I don't care and I never have and I'm not weird just misunderstood because no-one understands but me trust me I hate you although it was all I wanted to say I am all alone and once I have finished my life and this is the final curtain this what I've always thought screw you fuck me because I can never go on any more and although this is all I have to say trust me I love you I do I do.
I can see lyrics from the song I was listening to in there, but nothing else makes sense to me. The reference to the sea might be to do with the beach here, but I don't know.
This makes no sense, but I feel better, so I guess it worked.
Didn't it?
