raven: [hello my name is] and a silhouette image of a raven (sleep...)
[personal profile] raven
I'm tired as hell.
I've been making a couple of posts in [livejournal.com profile] first_thoughts. The community is dedicated to automatic writing, which I love , because it always feels like catharsis for me. I can always manage to do it, even when I don't intend to. I go on for paragraph upon paragraph, until it gets to the point where I'm just watching the screen, as my fingers and brain cooperate to pour out my soul onto soft copy. Sometimes I spot random lyrics, quotes inside my head, stuff I've just been thinking about, and sometimes the entire contents of my head just pours out into black and white.
I'm going to try and do it here, rather than in [livejournal.com profile] first_thoughts this time, just so I can come back to it more easily.

And here I am once more I hate you anf I hate the world at times and the love returns love that was made up by poets who hated real life and were trapped in their heads just like me until I woke up in a car and threw away my keys although it was the town for theories and there was this place I used to go and watch the sea because it is timeless and it never changes and it will last forever unlike me who only writes and once the fog cleared I hate you all. fuck you. It's all I ever wanted to be respected and I don't want to stop to think and I don't want to cry and I don't care and I never have and I'm not weird just misunderstood because no-one understands but me trust me I hate you although it was all I wanted to say I am all alone and once I have finished my life and this is the final curtain this what I've always thought screw you fuck me because I can never go on any more and although this is all I have to say trust me I love you I do I do.

I can see lyrics from the song I was listening to in there, but nothing else makes sense to me. The reference to the sea might be to do with the beach here, but I don't know.
This makes no sense, but I feel better, so I guess it worked.
Didn't it?
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