Eating ice-cream

Interesting day so far. I didn't notice until quite late on that it was Friday - and then wondered why my Pedar agreed to take me to school. On the way I got him a Guardian, and a girl in the newsagent asked me, "Is your name Sze-kie?"
I said no, and left, mystified.
Pedar was pleased to get his Guardian, and somehow or other we got into a discussiom about the difference of the ideals in Das Kapital and Communism and practice. Finally decided it didn't work because people suck.
I got into school and immediately was bored. A deep, soul searing boredom that never changes. "How can you hide from what never goes away?"
Spent French lesson in a funny, devil-may-care mood, and laughed at Helena's pronouncement, "New Brighton never sleeps."
And then it was lunchtime, and I now do feel terrible. Not terrible in an oh-my-God-I-screwed someone over kind of way, but terrible in an oh-my-god-the-world-is-screwing-me-over kind of way.
Time to go...

After the lightning

It's so hot and humid that it shouldn't be overcast. Because that's the kind of weather that makes people irritable and restless - this has been proven scientifically. Even animals feel it, it's not just us. It's strange - even with the benefits of civilisation, we can't be calm and settled on a hot, humid day. The only thing that will break the silence is drastic and violent - in the case of us, it's an argument, a fight, a crying fit, anything that will break the deadly calm. In the case of the weather, it's a thunderstorm, sudden, violent, and calming - after the lightning, the rain will come and wash the world clean.
I came home and felt ready to die.
I may have mentioned before my idea of what hell is really like - hell is Sunday afternoon, stretching on until eternity. I mean the time around three or four in the afternoon, when you realise you've had as many showers as you can have in one day, you've read the newspaper as thoroughly as you can without reading the finance section, and you still have hours until night falls. This is what hell is like, except in hell the tedium will never be broken by the onset of Monday morning. It will just be Sunday afternoon forever and ever, world without end, amen.
So I came home ready to die, tired and headachey and too hot and feeling like I'd never be able to concentrate on anything ever again. Well, maybe not anything... I spent my last lessons today sleeping on the desk and writing JOJ lyrics in Loz's rough book. Unfortunately I'm more than awake now and restless with it.
I think I'll go have a shower....

The bitch whumpability mentality

Just had very interesting conversation with Em about who's more of a bitch when it comes to fanfic whumpability. It seems to be me - at least I'm fairly sure it's me. In Em's world - much like Stargate itself, actually - death is never a permanent state. Even though she does kill people, she brings them back to life and lets them live happily ever after! I'm different - I have broken their legs, infested people with Goa'ulds, turned best friends against each other, I have orphaned children, I have murdered people, put them through heroin withdrawal, had them kill each other, raped them, and most recently had them commit suicide. Actually suicide-wise, I've done it twice - once with a dagger and once with razor-blades-to-slit-wrists.
I'm the bitch! Oh, yeah, I'm the bitch!