Photographs and postcards
Feb. 14th, 2003 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenI got a letter!
Shivani's first-grade class letter arrived today. It's a letter asking for photographs or postcards of the area where I live. Apparently they're going to stick everything they get on a giant world map. I think this is a great idea... why didn't we ever do something like this?
So... tonight, I am going to write a letter, write it, not type it. I don't know what Shivani had in mind, but I used to hate it when people wouldn't help me with school projects, and so I think I may as well go all out. I will write to her, include a couple of photographs, and I thought I might go round the people I loosely call friends, and ask them to write something, a tiny message, whatever, because I think she'll like that. The only difficulty will be finding a postcard of Southport/Liverpool/Formby, but I'll do my best.
In other, less cheerful news... the day's weather has been perfect, everyone was in mufti - I have mentioned the wonderful dog collars already - the teachers were in school uniform with pigtails, I read all through the desk in Classics, PE was cancelled and my timed To Kill a Mockingbird essay is now done and dusted, so I should be in a good mood but I'm not.
I hate this. I hate avoiding the subject. And it's not something you can avoid forever. Of course, my mother and I fight, as a general thing. We fight constantly. But we make up. And this isn't something I can compromise on, just for the sake of a quiet life, the way I always do. For some reason I'm determined, and I hate myself for it.
Pedar was telling me about Venkat earlier. He doesn't know I haven't been talking to Venkat for months. We used to be friends, quite good friends, but nothing more. I'd rather go out with almost anyone of either sex before Venkat, no offence to him of course. Anyway, he told Adam that I was going out with him, which of course was believed by so many people, even![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cucharita. Since then I haven't spoken to Venkat. That's not the point. The point is, Pedar was talking about him. Apparently, for his A-levels, he's doing three sciences, plus Greek. Like his brother, he wants to be a doctor. I can't say I'm surprised. The whole pack of them, all the kids I used to play in the Doctors' Residence with, they're all very similar. All the boys and girls, they aren't white, they went to Merchants', either one, they're growing up, they're choosing subjects. They all want to become doctors.
Except me. Me. Only me, the one who was fucking weird from the start. The one who's going to grow up to disappoint her parents by not going to Cambridge/Imperial. The conversations are always the same.
"So, little girl, what kind of doctor are you going to be?"
"Actually... I don't want to be a doctor."
"Oh. I see."
And I think my mother will never forgive me.
Shivani's first-grade class letter arrived today. It's a letter asking for photographs or postcards of the area where I live. Apparently they're going to stick everything they get on a giant world map. I think this is a great idea... why didn't we ever do something like this?
So... tonight, I am going to write a letter, write it, not type it. I don't know what Shivani had in mind, but I used to hate it when people wouldn't help me with school projects, and so I think I may as well go all out. I will write to her, include a couple of photographs, and I thought I might go round the people I loosely call friends, and ask them to write something, a tiny message, whatever, because I think she'll like that. The only difficulty will be finding a postcard of Southport/Liverpool/Formby, but I'll do my best.
In other, less cheerful news... the day's weather has been perfect, everyone was in mufti - I have mentioned the wonderful dog collars already - the teachers were in school uniform with pigtails, I read all through the desk in Classics, PE was cancelled and my timed To Kill a Mockingbird essay is now done and dusted, so I should be in a good mood but I'm not.
I hate this. I hate avoiding the subject. And it's not something you can avoid forever. Of course, my mother and I fight, as a general thing. We fight constantly. But we make up. And this isn't something I can compromise on, just for the sake of a quiet life, the way I always do. For some reason I'm determined, and I hate myself for it.
Pedar was telling me about Venkat earlier. He doesn't know I haven't been talking to Venkat for months. We used to be friends, quite good friends, but nothing more. I'd rather go out with almost anyone of either sex before Venkat, no offence to him of course. Anyway, he told Adam that I was going out with him, which of course was believed by so many people, even
cucharita. Since then I haven't spoken to Venkat. That's not the point. The point is, Pedar was talking about him. Apparently, for his A-levels, he's doing three sciences, plus Greek. Like his brother, he wants to be a doctor. I can't say I'm surprised. The whole pack of them, all the kids I used to play in the Doctors' Residence with, they're all very similar. All the boys and girls, they aren't white, they went to Merchants', either one, they're growing up, they're choosing subjects. They all want to become doctors.Except me. Me. Only me, the one who was fucking weird from the start. The one who's going to grow up to disappoint her parents by not going to Cambridge/Imperial. The conversations are always the same.
"So, little girl, what kind of doctor are you going to be?"
"Actually... I don't want to be a doctor."
"Oh. I see."
And I think my mother will never forgive me.
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no subject
on 2003-02-14 09:54 am (UTC)Also, I jknow millions of plavces to get postcards//
southport is a seaside resort = done and dusted , i know many places in liverpool
xox
Re:
on 2003-02-14 10:34 am (UTC)Postcards... hmm...
no subject
on 2003-02-14 10:03 am (UTC)There is absolutely NO point in you going to medical school if you don't want to do that. You don't. Therefore...
She might be unhappy, but she loves you, she will come around to the idea.
The whole point of Uni is to geta reasonable degree in something that you *enjoy*.
You'll be fine.
*hugs*
Re:
on 2003-02-14 10:37 am (UTC)Thanks so much. I'm so happy to hear a supportive voice.
no subject
on 2003-02-14 10:34 am (UTC)Re:
on 2003-02-14 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
on 2003-02-14 03:28 pm (UTC)And, completely off-topic, I am more than willing to write something for you, if you want. I can also get pictures/postcards of Liscard, or even better, New Brighton. It was a very popular holiday resort in its time, and there are loads of pictures of it from earlier in the last century. If that's the sort of thing you want...
no subject
on 2003-02-15 04:06 am (UTC)I agree with you and