Slashy happy people

[raven]

Last night, purplerainbow and I had a wonderfully therapeutic conversation about which of us is the most screwed-up-est, why I get a kick out of seeing Daniel Jackson/Hawkeye/Frodo/whoever in pain/state of angst/undress. We also touched on the subject of why human beings are crazy, whether anyone is 100% gay or 100% straight, and how the adorable the words, "No-one wanted to play" can be when said by the right person at the right time.

Today, ie this morning, was Physics. The exam was all right.. I don't want to talk about it. I was falling into dreams all the way through it...

cucharita gave me a birthday present, which I love. Two bracelets, one ordinary one made with red and black star beads, and another one, which is similar but has the little white letter beads, too - spelling out "Slashy happy people!"
Definitely the most original present I've ever received. *blows kiss to cucharita*

I walked home with Becca and Meg. I don't know why, but talking to them, I get the feeling I don't belong in their world now. Not that I ever really did, and not that I ever will any more. I mean, to take just a simple thing, like the bracelet I was so pleased with. I loved it, but they don't know the significance of it at all. Becca and Katrina are going to Tony's "Thank you for supporting me" bash. Once again, they were skirting the issue, or at least Becca was, when I was around. I wanted them to know I don't care, I don't, I don't care, not any more not ever again not ever.

Fuck. Another story, another time to tell it...

I love my new bracelet.

Something just came to my attention yesterday - Rubin has decided to close Heliopolis. I found this strange because on the same day as I volunteered to help with the new mash-slash archive, the only other archive that contains my fic is closing. Something is coming full circle...

Colleen says she and a few others are taking over ownership of Heliopolis at a new URL. It's strange, really... Heliopolis was/is one of the oldest archives on the net. Five years is a long time online.

I think I will enjoy this afternoon.

Comments

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

What a cool bracelet! Me wants!

No one wants to play...

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

*melts*
All right. *stamps foot* I admit it. I watched that again today, because I enjoyed it so much.
*runs off wailing*

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

Stop wailing! You should have watched it again!
Be not ashamed!
Dammit. I wish I could watch it again.

Re:

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

You can tomorrow, if you like... it's one of the three I have lying around...

[tygermoonfoxx.livejournal.com]

whether anyone is 100% gay or 100% straight

That's a conversation my husband and I have fairly often. I've come to the conclusion that for every person in the world there is a different balance and no one is totally one or the other though they may have a marked preference. In fact, I think the natural state of a human being is bisexual, capable of being with either sex, and that societal situations combined with further biological influence shape the rest.

I get the feeling I don't belong in their world now

I can certainly understand that feeling as well. For the adoption classes we are mandated to take, we did an ice breaker. You're given a a sheet of paper and told to fill in various information: favorite book, what you value most, favorite color, where you live, favorite music, etc. Then you're supposed to mingle with the group and when someone matches an answer to you, you sign one another's sheets.

I was only able to match three extremely superficial answers and I went to great pains to pick lesser aspects of myself that weren't too weird and that I felt would have a good chance of matching with someone else. Unfortunately, I seem to have stumbled upon a hyper-religious group. When I was thinking about education as something I value, they were thinking about family. When I was thinking about the last science fiction novel I read, their favorite book was the bible. And so it went. I felt both out of place and as though I was trying to fit myself into someone else's skin.

[purplerainbow.livejournal.com]

Sorry for butting in, but I agree with what you were just talking about...
I think that humans have the potential (possibly not the most suitable word) to be either gay or straight, and it's either choice, or something in the past that has affected them one way or another (like a rape, etc). Some people, however, are dead set against the flexibility because of prejudice, or pre-conceived ideas, or how they think other people will view them. Maybe they're just scared?
Probably the happiest people are the ones that accept that their sexuality is not set in stone, and are open-minded enough to try new things.