"Fucked by a star..."

[raven]

I could have gone into Liverpool today. I wanted to go either with snowdrop24 and Colleen or with _vertigo but no...
My mother and I had a battle over the subject last night. I wanted to go. She told me I don't take revision seriously, I never do any work, I went out last week, lalalala.... and, annoyed, flounced off to cancel.

[I was annoyed for more than one reason - the argument made me miss M*A*S*H. The first ep was a good one, the one where Hawkeye has a crisis of confidence and falls asleep in post-op, and the second one was new to me - but the only bit I actually got to see was a bit where Hawkeye belatedly realises they've gone too far, after being put on double post-op duty because they made a tape of Frank and Margaret and broadcast it over the public address system. If anyone saw it, what the hell happened next?]

So, where was I? I was extremely angry, and had cancelled everything. And then, a couple of hours later, my mother bounces in. "Don't sleep late tomorrow, we have to be quick?"
"Why?"
"We want to be in Liverpool by twelve. Set the alarm if you have to."
Cue me in a right royal righteous rage. I wanted to go, and that's not possible because my fucking revision is too important, but now she wants me to go with her ("to buy the things we need to take to India! It's important!") it's suddenly okay!
I wasn't going. I didn't want to.

Which is not true. I did want to, a little. It might have been better than being stuck at home the whole day. But I'm not going. It seems to be a matter of principle. I don't believe she thought she could get round me like that. All it was in the beginning is she wanted me to go with her for her shopping. And I can understand that...

But no. Thanks to my own fuck-off perverse desire not to be walked all over, I now get a day on my own doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.

And then there's the whole knotty subject of going to India at all. I don't want to go.

Is that wrong? The country of my ancestors, and all that... but not one of them can see I don't belong there any more than I belong on the moon. At the end of it all, I am not a doll. I am not a doll who comes every two years from a far-off land, just so they can exclaim, "Oh, she's so cute! See how she's grown up!" and then pat on the head and send out into the garden with a jelabi (I hate jelabis. I loathe them, but no-one bothered to ask) and then feel free to look at each other and shake their heads. "Ah, such a shame, ayyo! She speaks no Hindi..."

And my favourite part. "No boy will ever marry you if you argue with him like that, huh, baby?"

Comments

M*A*S*H

[flickgc.livejournal.com]

It's the one where Frank is horrible to Ginger, so H&T put his arm in a cast with a hook on the end, so he demands a transfer.

Radar is convinced that he's found gold (it's not really)
Henry has a temporary filling.

H&T and radar tape F and M saying goodbye, then play it over the speakers. So M also demands a transfer.
H&T realise they can't cope w/out M, so they decide they have to get her to stay.

They pretend they've been out digging for gold, so that Frank thinks that he can get rich. He goes and looks, and finds some yellow rocks, so cancels the transfers.

He takes M out to show her the gold, and they've painted the whole camp gold, too.

Fin.

Have fun, sweetie. Hope you're okay.

Re: M*A*S*H

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

Ah, thank you!
Oh, I wish I'd seen it... they'd painted the camp gold?!
*sighs* I should have remembered to tape it. I now have all these happy little mental images of gold tents and gold jeeps and gold everything else...

Re: M*A*S*H

[flickgc.livejournal.com]

No gold tents, but there is a gold jeep, tree, loudspeaker, horse's tack...