![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenand again!
fic:: winter waits where love is (also on the AO3)
by Raven
1000w, Zhao Yunlan/Shen Wei, Guardian. “Did you just… teleport into my bathroom?” Zhao Yunlan says. “You did. You did just teleport into my bathroom.”
At some point in his clearly-advancing middle age, Zhao Yunlan became the sort of person who takes baths. He fills them up to the brim with nothing but hot water – which has its own smell, he’s noticed, unadulterated and metallic – and submerges to his neck, thinking over the events of the day amid the gleam of light off tiles. This is one such occasion, indulgent in just how much hot water is involved. The tap drips; the steam rises; the heat is on the knife-edge between pleasure and pain. It’s a good place to contemplate one’s sins.
(This is far from the first time in his adult life that Yunlan has wished his mother were living. It would be good to text someone with I did something stupid today and I’m afraid it wasn’t just stupid but much, much worse and get a reply less concerned with his failings as boyfriend, friend and standard-bearing Guardian and more concerned with his degree of sugar consumption and inability to dress for the weather.)
The other advantage of a steaming hot bath: it’s the only place in his apartment he’s guaranteed not to be followed by that damn cat. Sometimes, a man wants privacy.
Sometimes a man doesn’t get what he wants. “You should not have done that,” Shen Wei intones, stepping away from the cloud of black smoke.
“Did you just… teleport into my bathroom?” Zhao Yunlan says. “Did you – you did. You did just teleport into my bathroom.”
“Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei insists, sitting on the edge of the bath. He’s fully-dressed. The trench coat is wet with rain. He did not come here via his own apartment. “You should not have done it.”
“You could have knocked!” Zhao Yunlan says, conscious of Shen Wei’s ability to sweep him off his feet and into whatever glory comes next and how if he’s not careful they’re just going to breeze right past how Shen Wei just teleported into his bathroom. “I could have been—“
He doesn’t feel the need to specify what, exactly, he could have been doing, naked in the bathtub. Shen Wei doesn’t ask. His eyes settle on Zhao Yunlan in implacable expectation.
There’s no getting away from it.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan says, and rewinds mentally. Dragon City University, the wet greenery of the park. Dixingren, death, murder, blood in the grass; the Black-Cloaked Envoy doing his job, which is to bring justice. Zhao Yunlan watched as the miscreants disappeared into the portal, towards punishment and expiation. He nodded to himself, reached up without thinking, and took off the Envoy’s mask.
Seconds later it disappeared from his hands, along with the Envoy himself and the portal – but not before he saw the shadow of the cowl on the face beneath the hood. He could only see the Envoy’s eyes. The memory makes a shiver pass through his body. In the heat and steam, it’s obvious, humiliating.
Arousing, too. Zhao Yunlan wants very much to smack himself around the head.
“I’m sorry,” he tries, wanting now just to get this over with, confession and atonement in quick succession. “I know you were doing your job, bringing justice and... you know. I’m not supposed to—“
But as he gets halfway through the sentence, he’s already thinking, not supposed to what, exactly. Not supposed to think of Shen Wei, whom he loves, unmasked; not supposed to do what he learned to do ten thousand years from here, of treating the man in front of him like the human being he is and not just the goddamn embodiment of a covenant.
“I got in the habit of it,” Yunlan says. “When I was… you know. Kunlun. You remember.”
Shen Wei nods. Zhao Yunlan relaxes slightly into the water.
“I just – but I won’t. I mean. If you don’t want me to.”
Shen Wei says nothing. Zhao Yunlan has the urge to pull him into the bath, fully dressed. He looks at the white of Shen Wei’s knuckles on the edge of the tub, and doesn’t.
“Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei says, low, dangerous. “I do not bring justice. I am justice” – and then the lights go out. They come back, dimmed, for a half-second and in that snapshot of illumination Zhao Yunlan cries out, at the Black Cloaked Envoy stark as the coming of winter. Darkness again, masking the swoop of cloth and movement: the knife-tip passes through the water.
When the lights come back on, Shen Wei is still on the edge of the bathtub. His hair is curling from the steam and his glasses are fogged up. He takes them off and puts them on the edge of the sink.
Zhao Yunlan can’t breathe. There is an edge of red in the tub. When he lifts his arm he disturbs the perfect line of the cut on the forearm, given to him as lightly as a kiss.
“Fuck,” he says, to no one in particular.
“You have considerable power over me,” Shen Wei says, conversationally. He wipes his glasses on one of Zhao Yunlan’s towels.
“I, ah,” Zhao Yunlan says.
“Please don’t abuse it, Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei says, not sardonically; he means it. He folds the towel and hangs it up neatly.
This has been, Zhao Yunlan understands, an object lesson in how one does not abuse one’s power. The cut on his arm is already healing, black smoke whispering at its edges.The blood in the water remains.
Shen Wei puts his glasses back on and stands up. “I’ll leave you to your bath,” he says.
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him. “You chilled the water,” he says, petulantly. “It’s cold now.”
Shen Wei smiles and waves a hand. The water starts steaming again as the door closes behind him. Zhao Yunlan listens as he passes back through the apartment, stacking some plates as he goes, and leaving dried fish out for the cat.
fic:: winter waits where love is (also on the AO3)
by Raven
1000w, Zhao Yunlan/Shen Wei, Guardian. “Did you just… teleport into my bathroom?” Zhao Yunlan says. “You did. You did just teleport into my bathroom.”
At some point in his clearly-advancing middle age, Zhao Yunlan became the sort of person who takes baths. He fills them up to the brim with nothing but hot water – which has its own smell, he’s noticed, unadulterated and metallic – and submerges to his neck, thinking over the events of the day amid the gleam of light off tiles. This is one such occasion, indulgent in just how much hot water is involved. The tap drips; the steam rises; the heat is on the knife-edge between pleasure and pain. It’s a good place to contemplate one’s sins.
(This is far from the first time in his adult life that Yunlan has wished his mother were living. It would be good to text someone with I did something stupid today and I’m afraid it wasn’t just stupid but much, much worse and get a reply less concerned with his failings as boyfriend, friend and standard-bearing Guardian and more concerned with his degree of sugar consumption and inability to dress for the weather.)
The other advantage of a steaming hot bath: it’s the only place in his apartment he’s guaranteed not to be followed by that damn cat. Sometimes, a man wants privacy.
Sometimes a man doesn’t get what he wants. “You should not have done that,” Shen Wei intones, stepping away from the cloud of black smoke.
“Did you just… teleport into my bathroom?” Zhao Yunlan says. “Did you – you did. You did just teleport into my bathroom.”
“Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei insists, sitting on the edge of the bath. He’s fully-dressed. The trench coat is wet with rain. He did not come here via his own apartment. “You should not have done it.”
“You could have knocked!” Zhao Yunlan says, conscious of Shen Wei’s ability to sweep him off his feet and into whatever glory comes next and how if he’s not careful they’re just going to breeze right past how Shen Wei just teleported into his bathroom. “I could have been—“
He doesn’t feel the need to specify what, exactly, he could have been doing, naked in the bathtub. Shen Wei doesn’t ask. His eyes settle on Zhao Yunlan in implacable expectation.
There’s no getting away from it.
“Shen Wei,” Zhao Yunlan says, and rewinds mentally. Dragon City University, the wet greenery of the park. Dixingren, death, murder, blood in the grass; the Black-Cloaked Envoy doing his job, which is to bring justice. Zhao Yunlan watched as the miscreants disappeared into the portal, towards punishment and expiation. He nodded to himself, reached up without thinking, and took off the Envoy’s mask.
Seconds later it disappeared from his hands, along with the Envoy himself and the portal – but not before he saw the shadow of the cowl on the face beneath the hood. He could only see the Envoy’s eyes. The memory makes a shiver pass through his body. In the heat and steam, it’s obvious, humiliating.
Arousing, too. Zhao Yunlan wants very much to smack himself around the head.
“I’m sorry,” he tries, wanting now just to get this over with, confession and atonement in quick succession. “I know you were doing your job, bringing justice and... you know. I’m not supposed to—“
But as he gets halfway through the sentence, he’s already thinking, not supposed to what, exactly. Not supposed to think of Shen Wei, whom he loves, unmasked; not supposed to do what he learned to do ten thousand years from here, of treating the man in front of him like the human being he is and not just the goddamn embodiment of a covenant.
“I got in the habit of it,” Yunlan says. “When I was… you know. Kunlun. You remember.”
Shen Wei nods. Zhao Yunlan relaxes slightly into the water.
“I just – but I won’t. I mean. If you don’t want me to.”
Shen Wei says nothing. Zhao Yunlan has the urge to pull him into the bath, fully dressed. He looks at the white of Shen Wei’s knuckles on the edge of the tub, and doesn’t.
“Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei says, low, dangerous. “I do not bring justice. I am justice” – and then the lights go out. They come back, dimmed, for a half-second and in that snapshot of illumination Zhao Yunlan cries out, at the Black Cloaked Envoy stark as the coming of winter. Darkness again, masking the swoop of cloth and movement: the knife-tip passes through the water.
When the lights come back on, Shen Wei is still on the edge of the bathtub. His hair is curling from the steam and his glasses are fogged up. He takes them off and puts them on the edge of the sink.
Zhao Yunlan can’t breathe. There is an edge of red in the tub. When he lifts his arm he disturbs the perfect line of the cut on the forearm, given to him as lightly as a kiss.
“Fuck,” he says, to no one in particular.
“You have considerable power over me,” Shen Wei says, conversationally. He wipes his glasses on one of Zhao Yunlan’s towels.
“I, ah,” Zhao Yunlan says.
“Please don’t abuse it, Zhao Yunlan,” Shen Wei says, not sardonically; he means it. He folds the towel and hangs it up neatly.
This has been, Zhao Yunlan understands, an object lesson in how one does not abuse one’s power. The cut on his arm is already healing, black smoke whispering at its edges.The blood in the water remains.
Shen Wei puts his glasses back on and stands up. “I’ll leave you to your bath,” he says.
Zhao Yunlan looks up at him. “You chilled the water,” he says, petulantly. “It’s cold now.”
Shen Wei smiles and waves a hand. The water starts steaming again as the door closes behind him. Zhao Yunlan listens as he passes back through the apartment, stacking some plates as he goes, and leaving dried fish out for the cat.
no subject
on 2019-04-30 07:52 am (UTC)(have you seen lola's fear of the water vid, btw? your fic made me think of it again.)
no subject
on 2019-04-30 07:57 pm (UTC)I have not seen it yet, I have it in a tab! thank you for the reminder. <3
no subject
on 2019-05-03 06:40 am (UTC)heheh, timing has a bit to do with it: bai yu, who plays zhao yunlan, is in a sherlock adaptation called DETECTIVE L. a recent episode shows him startled in the bath when another character quite adorably breaks in to pick his brain about a case. so the visual of him in a bath is at the moment contextualized with utter cuteness for a gooooood chunk of guardian fandom :D
i'm fascinated by the ways in which shen wei makes certain (in his mind justifiable) moves to control zhao yunlan's life in the show: he hides books about kunlun from him, goes behind his back to talk to his father etc. - not to mention the whole thing with healing his sight - and is also so protective of him that he would have let random haixingren die of unnatural old age so zhao yunlan could be cured the first time. oh, and he kills the cat girl who attacks him (albeit by accident). i'm sort of in love with the idea of shen wei spending years and years and years obsessing over seeing kunlun again, but also over having to maintain the timeline, to the point where kunlun is no longer really a person and the events of reality play out like fiction he must set a certain way, so it would work out as it's supposed to. and in that frame of mind, it's not really much of a stretch to think of other means of control as reasonable (esp since this zhao yunlan is omg so turned on by knife play).
ANYWAY HI, I LIKE THIS SHOW TOO MUCH, CAN YOU TELL <3
no subject
on 2019-05-05 12:33 pm (UTC)Also, I really love knifeplay AND THIS SHOW. <333
no subject
on 2019-05-05 07:11 pm (UTC)of course, i'm biased bc i have a headcanon that shen wei in the present knows that kunlun becomes the lantern's wick, and is torn between making sure the events play out as they would vs. getting to have the love of his life again. granted, there's some overlap there - he must figure out at some point that kunlun was already in love with him before he traveled back in time - but intimacy with zhao yunlan also means allll the opportunities to warn him off or try to save him otherwise. it's the kind of pressure that would make many a powerful being twisted up with the need to control reality, even one as pure-hearted as shen wei.
when i started my first rewatch of the show, knowing the entire plot, i kept noticing disappointment and sadness and even anger on shen wei's face in his first interactions with zhao yunlan. and it's all because he's not kunlun, and shen wei thought he was ready to meet him again, in this part of history before they have any history in zhao yunlan's experience; but he's sort of surprised at his own emotional reactions when "kunlun" doesn't know him, doesn't trust him, doesn't love him. ahhhhh it's all so epic and heartwrenching and amazing!!!!